Waldron - The Here and This and Now

Glenn Waldron THE HERE AND THIS AND NOW NICK HERN BOOKS
London
www.nickhernbooks.co.uk ContentsThe Here and This and Now was first performed at Theatre Royal Plymouth, on 9 March 2017, with the following cast:. The cast was as follows:

GEMMA	Jessica Clark
NIALL	Simon Darwen
HELEN	Becci Gemmell
ROBBY	Andy Rush
A.	Gracie Giles
Isabella Ackerman
James Critten
Lilly Crawford
VOICE	Bill Paterson
Director	Simon Stokes
Set & Costumer Designer	Bob Bailey
Lighting Designer	Andy Purves
Sound Designer	Adrienne Quartly
Casting Director	Stephen Moore cdg
Assistant Director	Bethany Pitts
Costume Supervisor	Delia Lancaster
Production Manager	Nick Soper
Stage Manager	Emily Bagshaw
Deputy Stage Manager	Alice Johnston
Assistant Stage Manager	Sarah Donaldson
Drum Technician	Matt Hoyle
Sets & Props	Custom Aspect
Costumes	Theatre Royal Plymouth
Produced by	Theatre Royal Plymouth

Acknowledgements Simon Stokes, David Prescott, Bethany Pitts, Louise Schumann, Harriet Pennington-Legh, Becca Kinder, Dr Michael Murphy, Bal Kalirai, Richard Lee and Sam Smith. G.W. For Sam Characters NIALL
GEMMA
ROBBY
HELEN
A. This ebook was created before the end of rehearsals and so may differ slightly from the play as performed. PART A: A PRESENTATION The conference room of a functional country-house hotel.

An office awayday. GEMMA , ROBBY and HELEN are pharmaceutical sales reps on a training day led by NIALL. They practise delivering their sales pitches, and participate in games and exercises to remember the terminology of the new drug they will be selling. 1. Chant A chant that starts off quietly then gets louder and louder. Captivate! Associate! Detonate! Kill! Captivate! Associate! Detonate! Kill! 2.

Niall A simple, engaging and persuasive style. NIALL This? Beat. Oh its. Nothing. Laughs. Beat. My son. My son.

Five years old and everythings Tractors. Diggers and tractors and Tractor wallpaper. Tractor cartoons. Spaghetti shapes Laughs again. Got in a bit of trouble actually. With the boss.

Jack my son hes been a bit, bit ill recently Oh nothing serious. Just a bit, fluey and. Which is rubbish when its the holidays and all
the other kids are out there playing and youre stuck inside. Do you remember that, Jan? So yesterday hes finally on the mend and hes been cooped up for, like, two weeks. And hes looking forward to going to the park and seeing all his pals and all that. Beat. Beat.

Tell me about it! And Im just about to leave for work. Yesterday. Got my car keys and Im halfway out the door and, and then I see him. See him sitting there in front of some cartoon. Bored witless, poor little And Im standing there and, and I get this idea in my head. I get this idea in my head and something in me just Clicks.

And I think, I think excuse my French, Jan sod it . Sod it. Because its not right, yknow? Its really not right. And I phone up the boss and I mean I could pretend that Im sick. Could say Ive caught it off the nipper or whatever but then I think, know what, Jan? Know what today Im gonna be honest. Not gonna sneak around.

And I phone up my boss and say to him, Michael.
I say Michael, I know its all chocka. Ive know Ive got appointments in Bracknell and Bicester and Lord-knows-where-else lined up but theyre going to have to wait because actually Im not working today. Im not working today because Im going to spend some time with my family, fella. Im spending the day with my son. And Michaels pretty mad obviously but yknow stuff it. Stuff it.

Because sometimes I think some things are more important than work. Dont you think, Jan? And so. So we jump in the car and we head up the M5 and all the way, Jacks so revved up. Like Where we going, Dad where we going? And, truth be told, I think hes just happy spending some time with his old man, yknow? Truth be told, think hes almost forgotten what I look like recently. Martine too. And then, then we turn on to the A38 and we turn around the corner and there it is.

Were there. Beat. Diggerland. No really, its a place. M5, Junction 27. It actually exists! Its just all these diggers and tractors and but Jacks face.

Jacks face when we come round the corner and he sees where we are. His face is just Yeah. Beat. And obviously now Im in the doodoo with the boss. Im in the doodoo up to my But I dont really care. Because when I think about his face.

When I think about my sons face when we turn the corner and he sees all those diggers, its just its one of those moments , you know? Because, I mean, what are we really here for? I just think thats what its about. Thats what lifes about. Its about moments. Those Everyday Moments. And you have to seize them, dont you? You really have to seize them, dont you, Jan? Beat. Listen. Listen.

Listen, Jan. Heres a thought. Lets not lets not do this today. Hmm? He makes to loosen his tie. Lets not do this, this elaborate dance were supposed to do. Because. Because.

Because I know youre probably bored. Bored of hearing it day-in, day-out. The chat. The pitch. A never-ending stream of, of slippery sales reps . All slithering up to your desk.

All wanting just five minutes with the senior consultants (not five minutes, four! Ill do it in four!). All with their, their Game-Changing Treatments for Urinary Tract Infections. Their Once-in-a-Lifetime Breakthrough Orals for Abscessed Teeth. All promising heaven and earth. Bit of banter with the lovely receptionist, do their pitch, back in the car, limp bacon sarnie at Gordano and on to the next one. Laughs.

Well lets not do it then. Lets not do that today. No free pens. No red velvet cupcakes. No weird fluffy creatures gathering dust on your computer. No pitch full of science-y language that honestly neither of us really understands, do we, Jan? Lets just be honest.

Lets try and be real. Because. I dont know you, Jan. I dont know if youre single or married. I dont know if youve done this job for twenty months or twenty years. Dont know if youre a mother or dare I say it (although I cant really believe it) maybe even
a grandmother.

A proud grandmother with grandkids that you secretly dote on more than your children. Spoil em rotten when Mums not looking then hand them back again, thank goodness! Im not going to assume anything about you. I wont. But I do know you want to help. To help people live the lives they want to live. To experience those Everyday Moments.

Everyday moments like well, like a boy being well enough to see some tractors with his dad. Can I be honest with you, Jan? What I have with me today is not going to save the world. Its not gonna change the face of medicine as we know it. Its a new topical treatment for age-focused keratinisation disorders called Setova with a new active ingredient Preponin and Im not going to make any grand claims for it. Its not going to boost someones cell count or, or restore their memory or save them from a burning building! Its just going to do the job its meant to do and its three-point-two per cent more affordable than the gel youre currently prescribing while retaining almost like-for-like efficacy. Meaning that its just that bit more affordable for your patients.