Tony Attwood Craig R. Evans and Anita Lesko - Been There. Done That. Try This!

Been There.
Done That.
TRY THIS!

AN ASPIES GUIDE TO LIFE ON EARTH

EDITED BY TONY ATTWOOD, CRAIG R. EVANS AND ANITA LESKO

The Mentors

Qazi Fazli Azeem, Garry Burge, James Buzon, Bob Castleman, Mitch Christian,
Debbie Denenburg, Charli Devnet, Temple Grandin, Ruth Elaine Joyner Hane,
Paul Isaacs, Dr. Know, Karen Krejcha, Henny Kupferstein, Anita Lesko,
Richard Maguire, John Makin, Larry Moody, Lisa Morgan, Jennifer Cook OToole,
Lars Perner, Jeanette Purkis, Mary Robison, Steve Selpal, Dr. Stephen M. Shore,
Dr. Patrick Suglia, Liane Holliday Willey, Alexis Wineman

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

Preface

Dr. Tony Attwood

Working on this book has been enlightening, inspiring and, most of all, fun. The original idea was to explore and apply the great wisdom on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) that has not been published in academic journals or textbooks but has been acquired over the lifetimes of those who have Aspergers syndrome. They are the great Aspie mentors who know ASD from the inside; they have Been there, done that, and from their wisdom say, Try this! They provide advice and encouragement that has far greater credibility, empathy and value than the advice of neurotypical parents and clinicians. Read this book and be enlightened.

Craig R. Evans

In 2003 I met my first (amazing) Aspie. His name was Nolan. At 13 he was reciting Latin genus species names of animals and lining then up in rows based on size, color, foods consumed or just alphabetically (in English or Latin). Hed phonetically sounded out the animals names and learned their stories after reading about them on his Animal Facts cards. At the same time, Nolan was creating different combinations of mythical (futuristic) animals on a website called SPORE. And he was drawing astonishing cartoons of his favorite pets (Australian sugar gliders). The zoo was his second home. I was learning that Nolan is a lot like his mother: artistic, brilliant, funny, creative and loving. But unlike his mom, Nolan is challenged. Between allergies, sensory issues and severe anxiety, daily life was a battlefield. After raising two neurotypical kids in my first marriage, Id never experienced anything like this before. I needed to find some answers.

An in-depth scan of the web turned up little more than a few autism associations, notices of fund raising walks and sketchy discussions of possible causes and the hope for a cure. Oddly, there was nothing about living with autism. In order to learn how to deal with Nolan and the explosion of children like him, I needed to change that.

Nolan became my stepson in 2007 when I married his wonderful mother. In 2008, I launched Autism Hangout, an online discussion forum that reports news, complies facts and community-submitted personal experiences, and invites ongoing discussion to discover insights on how best to deal with the daily challenges of autism. My mission was simple: I wanted to find ways for Nolanand others like himto thrive with autism. And those messages needed to be shared with a shell-shocked autism community. So my journey as a journalist began.

I decided to videotape my findings in short (under ten-minute) video reports. After posting a few, my instincts were confirmed. The videos were getting hammeredsome garnered more than 1000 views in a 24-hour period. Today, there are close to 500 videotaped reports at Autism Hangout, not all mine. But all focused on relevant, positive, helpful messages.

Ive interviewed some amazing people along the way: authors, autism experts, medical professionals, occupational therapists, teachers, caregivers, speech and language pathologists and successful/inspirational/thriving people with autism. Two things I immediately noticed they all had in common: hope and a positive attitude. So in capturing their messages (on video) and putting them out there, I knew it was going to be possible for all of us to learn to thrive with autism. And then I met another person who rocked my world: Dr. Tony Attwood.

Sometime around 2009, Id written Dr. Tony (in Australia) and invited him to record answers (via Skype) to questions about autism that were submitted by Autism Hangout members. He immediately agreed, acknowledging the importance of dispersing encouraging findings, techniques and treatments as quickly as possible. The Ask Dr. Tony show became a reality. Many of those programs have since received tens of thousands of views. And the grateful comments from hundreds of viewers confirm their helpfulnessand hopefulness.

During one of those recorded conversations, Dr. T brought up the concept of Aspie mentorssomeone older with Aspergers/High Functioning Autism (HFA) looking to help younger spectrum dwellers face the same challenges they encountered and overcame earlier in life. Talk about hopeful! I jumped on it!

We were pretty sure, starting out, that wed be able to locate qualified Aspie mentors. Our qualification was simply someone diagnosed with Aspergers (or HFA) who had found satisfaction in life. Satisfaction could be defined many ways: a good job, money, a fulfilling marriage, and peace. But we discovered something else that provided enormous satisfaction. Something remarkable.

Almost without exception, the mentors who took part in this work were already mentoring. Having lived through the proverbial dark ages of ignorance towards their needs and predispositions, without exception, this group was already actively engaged in giving back in order to help others like themselves avoid stress. Mentoring is one of the many ways they find fulfillment.

Initially, the thought was to assemble Aspie mentors in cities across the country. Monthly meet ups could be arranged where junior Aspies could meet with senior Aspies and learn (from their lifes experiences) how to navigate common Aspie-related issues (such as anxiety, self-esteem, making and keeping friends) to avoid stress. But I quickly found out that the databases necessary to make that sort of event happen were years away. However, it wasnt long until I arrived at the idea of a booka primerof Aspie mentor wisdom, which might someday help pave the way for meet up groups.

So here, with this first book of Aspie wisdom, we start. For me, Dr. Tony and Anita and hundreds of thousands of next-generation Aspies, this book is a dream thats come true.

Im hopeful the insight and wisdom of the compassionate, brave, persevering souls that contributed to this book is clearly communicated to those on the spectrum following in their footsteps. And Im more hopeful the lovefrom Aspie to fellow Aspie, clearly present in this act of selflessnessis noticed by the world. This is compassion in print.

Thank you, thank you , Aspie mentors, for genuinely making the world a better place. And thank you, Cherri Saltzmann, Mitra Ahani, Kathleen Tehrani and Theresa and Frank Gustafson. None of this could have happened without you.

Anita Lesko

I went the first 50 years of my life with Aspergers syndrome. Only I didnt know it! I heard of it two years ago from a co-worker whose son just got diagnosed with Aspergers. I stood in shock as I read all the signs and symptoms of it. All the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fell into place. The whole picture of my life now made sense! I never fit in. I always knew I was different. I simply never knew why.

It seemed my invisible disorder created endless obstacles. Somehow I managed to develop strategies to overcome them. Perseverance was the biggest one. It has taken me to great heights15,000 feet to be exact! I got a flight in an F-15 fighter jet in 2006. One of my special interests took me there. In 1988 I graduated from Columbia University. A Master of Science in Nurse Anesthesia has enabled me to have a great career. Ive been working the past 25 years as a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist.