Richard Lederer - Crazy English

CRAZY ENGLISH

THE ULTIMATE JOY RIDE THROUGH OUR LANGUAGE

Richard Lederer

Brigid Pearson

Stanley S. Drate

Folio Graphics Co. Inc.

POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

DONT MISS THE ENTERTAINING ANTICS OF
BESTSELLING AUTHOR RICHARD LEDERER

FRACTURED ENGLISH

THE WRITE WAY
A Guide to Real-Life Writing

ADVENTURES
OF A VERBIVORE

THE MIRACLE
OF LANGUAGE

THE PLAY OF WORDS
Fun & Games for Language Lovers

Available from Pocket Books

PRAISE FOR
CRAZY ENGLISH
and Richard Lederers
Other Rollicking Books

CRAZY ENGLISH is a gem.

San Francisco Chronicle

Lederer beguiles and bedazzles.

Los Angeles Times

CRAZY ENGLISH is great fun.

Pittsburgh Press

Hot dog! In a nutshell, Lederer is pleasing as punch.

Indianapolis Star

For sheer fun, you couldnt find a nicer gift than CRAZY ENGLISH by Richard Lederer.

James J. Kilpatrick

Holy cow! English has never been better.

Minneapolis Star Tribune

CRAZY ENGLISH? Crazy like a fox, this man Lederer. Ours is a language that reveals its secrets in winks, allusions, sighs, and giggles. Richard Lederer, being a genius, has taken the giggle road. Dont be bothered that you will laugh from the first page of the book to the lastat the end you will be better equipped to convey exactly what you mean, however serious the subject may be.

Willard Espy

A joyride. Lederer celebrates the semantic antics of our language.

Boston Herald

THE WRITE WAY

An entertaining, clearly written, concise guide to writing. Ideal for anyone who wants to be a better writer.

The Times Record (Brunswick, ME)

This commonsense approach to good writing belongs on every library shelf. Anyone familiar with Lederers previous books on the use and abuse of the English language will not be surprised by the abundance of humor used on these pages to lighten what might otherwise be a very dreary topic.

Kliatt

ADVENTURES OF A VERBIVORE

Adventures of a Verbivore should be required reading for all students of English 101, and language lovers in general.

Barbara Samson Mills, Baltimore Sun

Lederer leads us on joyous forays. He knows how to entertain while educating and is dedicated to the fascinating history of the words we use to communicateand to the recording of our unintentional and often very funny misspeaks and miswrites.

Judyth Rigler, San Antonio Express News

[Adventures of a Verbivore is] for anyone who savors language, enjoys puzzles and word games, is frustrated with learning vocabulary and grammaror is in danger of forgetting the joy or just the simple fun of language.

Kirkus Reviews

THE MIRACLE OF LANGUAGE

Richard Lederer has done it againanother delightful, witty, and hugely absorbing celebration of the English language. Is there no stopping the man?

Bill Bryson, author of Made in America

Wise and engaging. With The Miracle of Language, Lederer, Americas foremost wag of words, has also become a sage. That is not to say Lederer has abandoned humorfar from it. Miracle is filled with many gems.

The San Diego Union-Tribune

A veritable Cooks Tour of the wonderful English languagefrom its major highways to its little-known but fascinating byways and back roads.

Don Hauptman, author of Cruel and Unusual Plans

Entertaining and enlightening. A delightful and edifying collection.

Publishers Weekly

Books by Richard Lederer

Pun and Games

Nothing Risqu, Nothing Gained

Literary Trivia (with Michael Gilleland)

Adventures of a Verbivore

More Anguished English

The Miracle of Language

The Play of Words

Crazy English

Get Thee to a Punnery

Anguished English

Basic Verbal Skills (with Philip Burnham)

Fractured English

The Write Way

The Word Circus

For orders other than by individual consumers, Pocket Books grants a discount on the purchase of 10 or more copies of single titles for special markets or premium use. For further details, please write to the Vice President of Special Markets, Pocket Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, 9th Floor, New York, NY 10020-1586.

For information on how individual consumers can place orders, please write to Mail Order Department, Simon & Schuster Inc., 100 Front Street, Riverside, NJ 08075.

THE ULTIMATE
JOY RIDE
THROUGH
OUR LANGUAGE

Richard Lederer

POCKET BOOKS
New York London Toronto Sydney

Versions of many of the chapters in this book have appeared in Verbatim, Writing!, and Word Ways.

POCKET BOOKS, a division of Simon & Schuster Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 1989, 1990, 1998 by Richard Lederer

Illustrations copyright 1989 by Dick Anderson

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Pocket Books, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

Originally published in hardcover in 1989 by Pocket Books

ISBN: 0-671-02323-3

eISBN-13: 978-1-439-13894-6

ISBN-13: 978-0-671-02323-2

First Pocket Books trade paperback printing June 1998

10 9 8 7

POCKET and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster Inc.

Cover design by Brigid Pearson

Text design by Stanley S. Drate /Folio Graphics Co. Inc.

Printed in the U.S.A.

To my family, for always encouraging me
to build castles in the air;
To Pete and Robin, for putting
the foundations underneath;
To Stacy, for her lovely interior decorating.

THE STRANGE CASE OF THE
ENGLISH LANGUAGE

THE NAME IS THE GAME

FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING

UNMECHANICAL ENGLISH

THE SOUNDS OF ENGLISH

ENGLISH AT PLAY

THE LAST WORD ABOUT WORDS

Like the fabled Jabberwock, words have jaws that bite and claws that catch.

JAMES J. KILPATRICK

E nglish is the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet, used in some way by at least one out of every seven human beings around the globe. Half of the worlds books are written in English, and the majority of international telephone calls are made in English. Sixty percent of the worlds radio programs are beamed in English, and more than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in English. Eighty percent of all computer texts, including all web sites, are stored in English.