Tim S. Grover - Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness

Tim Grover was by my side for fifteen years, and knows more than anyone about building winners. This book is essential for those who want to be the best at whatever they do and are willing to pay the price to get there. MICHAEL JORDAN

The Unforgiving Race to Greatness

W1NNING

Tim S. Grover

Bestselling Author of Relentless

With Shari Lesser Wenk

For Shari Wenk, my co-writer and collaborator, who understood

One week before my friend and client Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash, we spoke on the phone for the last time.

We hadnt talked in a while, and neither of us apologized for not being in touch more often. Wed send an occasional text just to check in. He was busy. I was busy. All good.

Wed have plenty of time to catch up soon.

Since the end of his basketball career in 2016, Kobe actually seemed busier than hed been as a player. He may not have been in the gym at 4 a.m. putting up shots as he did for the many years we worked together, but he was still working on new endeavors and obsessions during those dark lonely hours that haunt every true competitor. Hed already won an Oscar, launched a series of bestselling childrens books, created several television productions, and was traveling to coach his daughter Giannas basketball team when the chopper crashed and they were both tragically killed, along with seven others. He hadnt slowed down at all; he was still driven to achieve more and more.

Rest at the end, he would say, not in the middle.

During the 2009 NBA Finals, a reporter asked him why he didnt look happy after his Lakers took a two-game lead over the Orlando Magic. Kobe gave him that iconic Mamba glare, and said:

Job not finished.

Three words that summed up everything about him.

On that last phone call, we talked for a while, and made plans to get together at the upcoming All-Star game in Chicago. That meeting would never happen.

Our conversation ended like this:

You good? I asked.

Yeah, Im good. Always chasing that win. Never done.

I hear those words over and over.

Always chasing that win.

Never done.

Kobes life was a series of wins, fueled by his insatiable hunger to succeed. The more you told him it couldnt be done, the more he wanted to do it. He had to know why, when, how much, how long every detail mattered to him. He couldnt just take a bike ride, he had to ride in the desert, at the hottest time of day, just to prove to himself that he could. He never just watched film, he broke it down frame by frame analyzing every movement, every variation. He played with a concussion in an All-Star game (unbeknownst to anyone else) to see how it would feel. He didnt just call his friend and idol Michael Jordan to ask whats up, he called him in the middle of the night, asking questions and looking for ways to become .0001 percent better. Everything he did, in basketball and in life, was about his desire to win. As an athlete, a father, a creator, a dreamer of what could be next, he looked Winning in the eye over and over, and demanded more. More success, more victories, more accolades, more time with his family.

More time to run his race to greatness.

For all the times Winning said yes to Kobe, on January 26, 2020, it finally said: No.

I know that sounds harsh. I just cant look at it any other way.

Winning doesnt apologize, and it doesnt explain. It throws a party in your honor, refuses to give you the place and time, and sticks you with the check. It pours your champagne, and knocks over the glass.

You reach out to shake its hand, and it has no idea who you are.

Winning puts you on the biggest stage. And shuts off all the lights.

In my thirty-plus years of working with the greatest competitors of our time, from Michael Jordan and Kobe and Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley and countless others, to CEOs and elite achievers in all walks of life, Ive seen Winning in all its glorious generosity, and all its excruciating cruelty. One day it wears a halo. The next day it has fangs.

You dont get to decide which it will be.

You can only chase it, and if youre willing to pay the price, you might catch it. Briefly.

The ability to win is in all of us. For some, its the first championship. The first million. The new business. The new house. For others, its finishing a workout, or finishing school. Sending a kid to college. Buying that first car. Going a whole day without smoking. Ending a bad relationship. Asking for a raise. Seeing the last open parking space, and grabbing it before the other guy gets there. Making a U-turn and getting away with it.

Getting up every day and putting your two feet on the floor.

Winning is everywhere. Every minute, you have the potential to recognize an opportunity, push yourself harder, let go of the insecurity and fear, stop listening to what others tell you, and decide to own that moment. And not just that one single moment, but the next one, and the next. And before long, youve owned the hour, and the day, and the month. Again. Again.

Thats how you win.

It doesnt happen all at once. For my athletes, it starts with the first workout in the off-season, builds until the last second of the championship game and continues into the first workout of the next off-season. For my business clients (who play a harder schedule than any athlete) it begins with an unpredictable array of opponents with no off-season, no playbook, and no clock to stop the action, with unofficial scorekeepers and referees who are constantly changing the rules. For everyone, there are endless setbacks, challenges, roadblocks, letdowns, and issues that force most people out of the race.

But if you can stay with it, if you can survive the battlefield in your mind, if you can tolerate fear and doubt and loneliness Winning would like a word with you.

Winning is the ultimate gamble on yourself. The difference between dreaming about what could be, and actually living it.

Winning drives you forward. Every time you advance, you can hear the steel bars clank shut behind you; they are real, and they are earned. Now you cant go back, only ahead. You cant unlearn what youve learned. You cant unfeel what youve felt.

Winning never lies, but it always hides the truth. It tells you everything you want is so close, and then laughs as it slams the door in your face. It tells you all your goals and dreams are impossible, and then taunts you to keep going. One more step. One more step. One more step, to an uncertain destination that might not even be there.

Winning is craziness. It doesnt sleep, and doesnt understand why you do.

It refuses to share time or space with others in your life, like a jealous lover who demands all of you and gets it. Its a driving obsession that looks irrational to others and perfect to you.

Winning is unforgiving. If you screw up, if you lay down, if you show weakness, youre done.

It shows you the best of you, and the worst.

Winning keeps its hands in its pockets, so it doesnt accidentally point to someone unworthy.

It holds you up to the sun. And watches you burn.

If you manage to reach the top, Winning will be there to greet you with open arms. Just before it pushes you off the ledge to make room for someone else.

Its your ultimate reality check, a scorching reminder of who you really are and who youre pretending to be, and forcing you to reconcile the difference. Winning is the lover who takes you to paradise all night long, and disappears before morning. Its the dream you cant remember when you wake up.