Albert Ellis - The Art of Erotic Seduction

The Art Of Erotic Seduction

by Albert Ellis

...Unbutton her garment gradually, while tickling or caressing. Caress-that is, put pressure-with the last three fingers of the hand and palm. This gives her the illusion that you are caressing with all your hand, while in truth your thumb and forefinger are free to work on her zipper or buttons.

You can intersperse this process with the use of your mouth. "Educated" lips can unbutton most buttons and unzip most zippers. Ostensibly you keep caressing her with your lips and breath; but all the while you are busy at the fasteners....

-from Light Petting (Necking)

Introduction

1. The Morality of Sexual Seduction

2. Seduction Do's

3. Seduction Don'ts

4. Setting the Stage

5. Kissing

6. Light Petting (Necking)

7. Heavy Petting

8. Giving Full Satisfaction

9. Problems and By-Products

10. Keeping a Relationship Going

Suggested Reading

About the Authors

* * *

To all the lovely women who have taught me the art of erotic seduction.-Albert Ellis

TO my son, for whom this was originally written, and to D. M. W., from whom I've learned a lot and loved every minute of it.

-Roger O. Conway

This book grew out of our personal experiences, rather than from the things we heard and read about. In fact, since one of us (A. E.) was reared in a typical middleclass neighborhood in the North Bronx and the other (R. C.) was brought up in a conservative town in the deep South, what we originally heard about seducing respectable young women was almost unmitigated hogwash. First, you weren't supposed to do such a dastardly act at all. Secondly, if you did have the temerity to try, you were almost certain to run into such unalterable opposition that you might just as well give up soon, find some tramp or whore who was easily available, and let it go at that.

So we didn't try too hard-in the beginning. We did very little with the "nice" girls we dated, and if we somehow began to get somewhere sexually with one of these girls-mainly because we went with her long enough, and one thing naturally began to lead to another-we began to think in terms of possibly marrying her. For in those days sexual "intimacy" was almost synonymous with a state of matrimony in our minds; and, frankly, we didn't have the guts to think much beyond this point and to try to get "nice" girls to bed with whom we had no intention of becoming terribly serious.

A little later, we changed. Once we had got a little sex under our belts, it didn't seem quite so sacred any more, and seemed to merit an entirely justifiable position even when not ennobled by love. Moreover, once we loved a girl, had sex relations with her, and then (as is human) were no longer highly enamored, we had to admit that, at least in some cases, her physical charms were still enrapturing. Although our hearts were no longer captive, our genitals were not equally discriminative; and often our rolls in the hay with these no longer loved lasses were as memorable as the delights we mutually enjoyed when our souls were more in tune.

So we learned. And, as part of our learning, we started to make more vigorous overtures toward girls whom we never loved-knew, in fact, that we possibly never would. We found them physically attractive, though sometimes little more than that. But we knew we could enjoy them, and they us, sexually; we said to ourselves, "What the hell! What have we got to lose? Let's try."

Try we did. At first, much failure. But some success! Even, surprisingly, when we did the wrong thingpushed a girl too hard and too fast or clumsily ripped off a few of her blouse buttons while trying to get at her breasts-we found that not all was lost, that girls easily forgave and forgot-and then, amazingly enough, went much farther than they ever would have gone had we not made our mistakes in the first place.

We read, too-goodness knows how many books on sex technique, the psychology of women, birth control methods, and related knowledge. They helped a little. But most of them (as many still tend to be today) were pedantic, idealistic, and impractical. More important, no doubt, were some of the fictional writings then extant: Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Ulysses; Boccaccio, Rabelais, Balzac, and other classical ribald story tellers; smuggled-in copies of Fanny Hill and the books of Henry Miller. These taught us graphically that not all women were "pure," and that many were as ready to play double-backed horsy as their male suitors.

So we ventured; and, in a fair number of cases, succeeded. Then, as our skills grew, so did our successes. Women whom we would have never dreamed we could make it with fell, if not exactly at our feet, at least eventually between our bedsheets. And some of them-of all things!-scolded us for not having actively persuaded them to get there much sooner. Could it really be true, as these females alleged, that we had often been too timorous and gentle? It could; in fact, it was.

So we learned some more. And we learned the pleasure of learning. We thought, now and then, of transmitting some of our knowledge to other males; since most of them we talked to labored under our prior delusions and knew as much about the fairest flowers of young womanhood as they did about raising ostriches. One of us (A. E.) did eventually write a book, Sex and the Single Man, in which some of his best advice to the sexlorn was communicated; but there were so many other things to tell the male reader that little space remained for much salient information on the gentle art of seduction and the hows and whys of sex etiquette.

Meanwhile, the other author of this book (R. C.) was leading a respectable married life and rearing two children, a boy and a girl. When his son reached the age of eighteen, he began to collate some answers to the question, "Dad, what's the best way for me to 'make out' with a girl?" and he wrote a manual incorporating these answers and gave it to the son. This work was quite successful in answering the boy's main questions, and served many of his friends, as well, in their quest for down-to-earth information which their fathers were loath to give them.

When the two authors of this book became friendly (largely by mail, since they live a thousand miles apart), they agreed that in spite of their previous ventures in this field, nothing of note had yet been published to inform the young male how to conduct himself in his sexual relations with females, so that he could obtain acceptance and enjoyment and, at the same time, he could responsibly satisfy them. Hundreds of books on general etiquette exist, and some of them are even practical and unprissy. But to locate one on sexual etiquette that includes the relevant facts of life and an open-minded attitude toward non-marital and marital sexuality has been a Herculean task. That is what the present work is designed to be: a factual, liberal, objective view of dating and mating, particularly oriented toward the late teenager and early adult, but applicable to any male who wants to enjoy heterosexual relationships with willing females.

According to Webster's New World Dictionary, to seduce means "to persuade to do something disloyal, disobedient, etc." Sexually, it means "to persuade to engage in unlawful sexual intercourse, especially for the first time; induce to give up chastity." Obviously, these definitions are loaded-for they only talk about persuading an individual, and particularly a female, to engage in an act which is disloyal, disobedient, or unlawful. If this is all that sexual seduction is, then it cannot easily be defended, and might better be abandoned by honorable men.

Fortunately, this does not exactly cover the whole field of seduction. Most of the time when John reports to his friend, Joe, "I was able to seduce Mary last night. It was rough for a while; but I made it at last," he does not mean that he persuaded or induced Mary to do something disloyal or unlawful. For usually Mary is not married or engaged to someone else to whom she has promised to be faithful; and she resides in a community where fornication may be frowned upon but where no one is likely to be jailed when caught engaging in it.