Jane Seddon - Daily Sex: 365 Positions And Activities For A Year Of Great Sex!

Copyright 2004 by Jane Seddon

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Grand Central Publishing

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroup.com

First eBook Edition: November 2008

Grand Central Publishing is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

The Grand Central Publishing name and logo is a trademark of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

ISBN: 978-0-446-54904-2

Book design and text composition by Mada Design, Inc.

Cover design by Brigid Pearson

Cover photo by Barnaby Itall/Photonica

This project would have been impossible without my wonderful husband and best friend. Thank you for everything!

One day I told a friend of mine that I was writing a book about daily sex. He looked at me in shock and then went on to say that he already works ten hours a day and has an hour-long commute. Now he would have to go home and have sex every night too? My friend clearly needs to change his perspective about sex. Sex is a pleasure, not a punishment. Sex is a chance to share intimate moments with your partner every day. Sex is a chance to indulge the body and mind and feel great. And, unlike many of lifes other pleasures, sex does not have fat grams, cost money, or require elaborate equipment.

But daily sex is about more than just physical pleasure. Daily sex also helps form a special bond for a couple. Sex (in a monogamous relationship) is one of the few activities that people participate in exclusively with only one other person. You can love, spend time with, and even share intimate thoughts with parents, kids, friends, and neighbors. But you only have an intimate physical and sexual relationship with your partner. And because of that uniqueness, a special bond exists for the couple. Daily sex helps to nourish and develop that special bond, which in turn will also foster or reinforce love, faithfulness, and loyalty between the couple.

Daily sex will also help each person in the relationship grow stronger and more confident. The variety of sexual positions and activities presented in this book will help identify likes and dislikes both for pleasing someone else and for being pleased themselves. As each person within the relationship grows stronger, the strength of the relationship will also increase. The adage that the whole is better than the sum of the parts is true for relationships. So, as each person in the relationship grows, the relationship itself will also grow and gain strength.

My friends initial response to the concept of daily sex is not uncommon. Is daily sex for me? Can people really find time for sex every day? Will sex stay interesting even if I do it every day? These are the questions people ask me the most often. The simple answer to all these questions is yes! and this book will show you how.

Developing a Great Sexual Relationship

Everyone is capable of enjoying sex every day. However, great sexual relationships typically share some common characteristics that help them succeed. As couples try to improve or expand their physical intimacy, development of these characteristics is important. Some couples may only need to concentrate on one or two items. Other couples might need to work on all the items in the list. All couples that share a willingness to honestly communicate and work together have the tools they need to build a strong and passionate sexual relationship.

First of all, both partners need to be enthusiastic about the sexual relationship. If both people are not truly committed to establishing or maintaining physical intimacy, then a good (or great) sexual relationship will be nearly impossible. Most people lose their sexual desire when their partner is uninterested or reluctant. The best sex occurs when two people are actively and enthusiastically participating in the intercourse.

Couples need to openly and honestly communicate their needs, desires, and goals with regards to physical intimacy. Many of the difficulties that couples face occur when partners have different ideas on what defines a good sexual relationship or even a good sexual position. Maybe there are certain types of foreplay or sexual activities that you particularly like and would like your partner to engage in more frequently. Or conversely, there may be certain activities or positions that you do not like and would prefer not to use. If you dont tell your partner about your preferences and desires, it will be difficult for the relationship to improve. Daily sex will provide couples with ample opportunity to try new things and then discuss what they like, do not like, or would like to change.

Both partners need to display a willingness to try new things. Some of the positions and activities in this book may seem downright silly or senseless, especially for couples that tend to have a very repetitive sex life with only a few positions and variations. Other positions and activities may be perceived as undesirable, but could actually turn out to be very pleasurable and satisfying. By trying the suggested position or activity, you can learn new things about yourself, your partner, and your relationship as a couple. Not all positions and activities are going to please everybody. But even if a couple tries something new and does not like it, they have still engaged in intimacy and learned something new about themselves.

Couples also need to have complete mutual trust and confidence in each other. Because sex is a highly charged emotional activity, participants can feel vulnerable. This vulnerability usually increases when new sexual positions or activities are introduced. Each person needs to know that they have the unconditional support and love from their partner regardless of whether the activity becomes a favorite or is never tried again. Engaging in new and interesting sexual activities in a fully trusting environment is essential to strengthening the emotional bond shared by the couple.

Finally, good sexual relationships exist when each person is willing to please and be pleased. Sex is ultimately about pleasure, both giving it and receiving it. The balance of a relationship will be disrupted if one partner is only interested in giving pleasure or if one partner is only interested in receiving pleasure. It is surprising news for people that only like to give pleasure to find out that by denying their partner a chance to provide pleasure, they are also denying their partner a chance to experience the full intimacy of a sexual relationship. Many people that are currently only interested in receiving pleasure learn that fulfilling a partners sexual needs adds a totally new dimension to the overall sexual experience.

Finding Time for Sex

Admittedly, one of the biggest obstacles to participating in daily sex is that couples need to allow time for it each day. Its a busy world, and for some people finding the time to take a deep breath every day is a luxury. But remember, sex is pleasurable and fun, and it doesnt have to take a significant amount of time. Making time to engage in a fun and satisfying activity that can potentially improve the overall relationship should be easy to justify. Some nights are perfect for long, passionate romance. Other nights (or maybe most nights?) are more suitable to ten to twenty minutes of love and intimacy. Go to bed fifteen minutes earlier, stay up fifteen minutes later, have sex during the fifteen-minute halftime of the football game on TV. If sex is something you look forward to, you will amaze yourself at the creative ways that can be found for finding time in a busy schedule to include sex. And, as a couple makes sex a daily activity, it becomes a priority for them instead of something that happens when all other items on the to do list have been crossed off.