Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Dont Deserve

Forgive and forget : healing the hurts we don't deserve

Forgive and forget : healing the hurts we don't deserve

Smedes, Lewis B

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Lewis B. Smedes has written a warm, wise andhelpful book on an important topic thatneeded attention. I know that many peoplewill be as helped by it as I was.Harold S.Kushner. author of When Bad Things Happen toGood People

Award-winning author Lewis B. Smedes for the firsttime shows how anyone can tap the power of forgiveness to achieve healthier relationships andpeace of mind. FORGIVE & FORGET explains andthen takes us step by step through the four stagesof forgiveness: hurting, hating, healing, andreconciliation. It provides solid guidelines for free-ing ourselves from the burden of hurts we don'tdeserve and for reclaiming the happiness that isours.

Smedes provides realistic answers to such agonizing questions as: How can you forgive an unfaithful spouse? a parent's abuse? a friend's betrayal? an enemy's spitefulness? FORGIVE & FOR-GET helps readers to deal with the memories ofthe horrors of the Holocaust... "monsters" such asJim Jones or Charles Manson ... or the "invisiblepeople"the nameless, faceless persons whobring on indiscriminate violence and suffering.Smedes teaches us not only how to forgive others,but how to forgive ourselves by curing deep-rooted guilts and getting on with our lives. He alsoaddresses the hardest question of all: When youhave no one to blame, can you forgive God?

Drawing on examples from his own experience,the experiences of those he has counseled, andsuch well-known cases as Pope John Paul II whoforgave his wouldbe assassin, Smedes points theway for us to move decisively through the crisis offorgiveness to a healed relationship with the per-son or persons who hurt usabsent or present, liv-ing or dead.

Clearly defining what forgiveness is and is not,showing us precisely how it works, and offeringencouragement along the way, the author presents an unparalleled opportunity in self-healingthat anyone can put to work immediately. "Whenyou forgive someone for hurting you, you performspiritual surgery inside your soul; you cut away thewrong that was done you so that you can heal

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https://archive.org/details/forgiveforgethea00smed_1

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FORGIVE AND FORGET

ALSO BY THE AUTHOR:

How Can It Be All Right When Everything Is All Wrong?

Love Within LimitsMere Morality

TO

my sister Jessieand

my brother Peter

"letters written not by hand, but by the Spirit"

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Contents

A Word of Thanks	ix
An Invitation	xi
The Magic	Eyes: A Little Fable	xiii
Part I	The Four Stages of Forgiving
	We Hurt
	We Hate
	We Heal Ourselves
	We Come Together
	Some Nice Things Forgiving Is Not
Part II	Forgiving People Who Are Hard to Forgive
	Forgiving the Invisible People
	Forgiving People Who Do Not Care
	Forgiving Ourselves
	Forgiving Monsters
	Forgiving God
Part III	How People Forgive
	Slowly
	With a Little Understanding
	In Confusion
	With Anger Left Over
	A Little at a Time
	Freely, or Not at All
	With a Fundamental Feeling
Part IV	Why Forgive?
	Forgiving Makes Life Fairer
	Forgiving Is a Better Risk
	Forgiving Is Stronger
	Forgiving Fits Faulty People
Postlude

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