Aleister Lovecraft Esq. - Satans Advice to Young Lawyers

Satans

Advice to Young Lawyers

Edited by,

Aleister Lovecraft, Esq.

2014, 2019 Aleister Lovecraft, Esq. and SatansAdvice.com

Interior illustrations modified by the editor from public domain images obtained from the Flickr stream of the British Library.

Do not reproduce any portion of this book without permission, other than for brief excerpts used for review purposes.

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Introduction

I T IS WITH MUCH EXCITEMENT and some trepidation that I publish this collection of advice, for I fear what might happen when this book is released to the legal profession and the world at large. The information inside is profoundly powerful and helpful, but it could be very dangerous if used for improper purposes.

There is little need for introduction to the author of this work; we all know who he is. But, once you have finished this book, I think you will agree with me that what you thought you knew about him was wrong.

I do not want to delay you from getting to the words of the Great Master, but I feel I need to explain how this manuscript came to be in my possession.

It was an early evening about three years ago. I was a first-year associate at a well-known international law firm which partly from courtesy, partly from fear of retribution will remain unnamed. I had just left the office to find somewhere to eat dinner, planning to return to the office afterward to continue working on an important brief.

As I walked out of the buildings lobby, I brushed shoulders with a tall, handsome and fit man in his late forties or early fifties. He was wearing a conservative and impeccably tailored suit, complete with a pocket square and American flag tie pin.

Im sorry, sir, I said. I wasnt paying attention.

He smiled at me and asked, Worried about the Stevenson brief?

I was startled that he would know not only that I was worried about something but also that he knew the exact thing I was worried about.

Do you work at the firm? I dont recognize you, I said.

No, I do not, he said. But, I have something for you. He handed me a thin stack of papers bound together with a black plastic binder clip.

I was confused but took the documents. Are these for a client file?

He chuckled. No. These are for you. Read them when you have a chance. Ill contact you in a few days to get your thoughts. He turned and walked away.

I stared after him for a brief moment, when the growls of my stomach distracted me. I put the papers into my suitcoat pocket and walked down the block.

Ten minutes later, as I was eating a chicken caesar salad, I looked through the documents he had given me. They were strange and liberating. It was like he had thought through all the problems that I had experienced in the year since I had graduated from law school and had answers for them.

A few days later, I was in my favorite bar ordering a scotch after a long day at work when the mysterious delivery man unexpectedly sat down next to me. He smiled and asked, So, what did you think?

From that moment on, he became my mentor and confidant. It did not take long for me to discover his true identity. But, rather than being horrified, as I suppose I should have been, I was enthralled. He was nothing like I thought he would be. He was logical and sensible, a voice of truth crying out in a wilderness of fools and charlatans.

As I followed his direction, I became increasingly successful. I earned one of the highest bonuses ever paid by my firm to a second year associate. Then, I quit my position, opened my own firm and obtained a multi-million dollar settlement within months. Everyone said I was lucky, but I knew better. I was just following my mentors instructions.

It is partly to prove that luck has nothing to do with my success that I wanted to publish this collection of advice. But, I also wanted to give other lawyers the courage to break free and seek power on their own terms.

Do not cower at your position as a lowly associate. Embrace your true self and your true power and succeed.

I have, of course, received the authors blessing to publish these powerful writings. In fact, he was so enthusiastic and supportive of this project that he has written a few additional pieces especially for this book.

We hope you enjoy it.

Aleister Lovecraft

San Francisco, August 2014

Part 1: Foundation

Who may read this book

U NLESS YOU ARE A LAWYER or are about to graduate from law school, you may not read this book. I prefer that only law students or young lawyers read it, but will permit older lawyers to read this book because they will know what I say is true and, if they have the courage, pass it along to their minions.

Let us not be coy: as a lawyer, the world hates you.

George Burns, whose comedy I adore, once explained, And God said: Let there be Satan, so people dont blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people dont blame everything on Satan. Accept this. Embrace it.

Since you and I are to be blamed for everything people think is wrong with the world, we are entitled to do what we like in the world.