Loraine Despres - The Southern Belles Handbook: Sissy LeBlancs Rules to Live By

To all those
beautiful Yankees and
their modern Southern sisters
who are intelligent,
well-educated, worked out
and miserable!Its okay for a woman to know her place, she just shouldnt stay there. Rule #48
You cant change the past, but a smart girl wont let that stop her. Rule #101
A proper Southern Belle never lets on how bored she is. Rule #77
A smart girl cant just sit on the porch and wait for life to start. Rule #49
An uppity woman, with enough research, will find a way. Rule #59
What makes you a woman is working up the courage to take your life into your own hands. Rule #1
The world is lying in wait to come between a girl and her ambition. Rule #31
A lady must develop the knack of finding a noble motivation for doing what she wantsor shell never get a chance to do what she wants at all. Rule #12
Lifes always harder for a woman. Thats why she has to give it a bunch of little shoves and shakes, always taking care the buzzer doesnt ring and the lights dont come on screaming Tilt! Rule #51
Dont jump off the roof if you dont expect to hit the ground. Rule #62
A smart woman never lets a man know how smart she is. Rule #28
Any woman who thinks she can get a man to do anything by going at him head-on is a fool. Rule #10
Be easy. Let him have his way on little unimportant things. Then when something important to you comes up, youll be in a position to get what you want without giving up your charm. Rule #38
Dont be too easy. Alpha males love a challenge. It isnt what you look like that keeps him on his toes as much as how hard he has to work for you.

A smart girl makes a man sweat. Rule #16


A Southern Belle picks her fights. There are so many other ways to get what you want. Rule #26
Ask him to do something easy for you and thank him sweetly. Hell feel great about himselfand think youre terrific. Rule #68
A smart girl lets a man take full credit for doing exactly what she wants him to do. Rule #92
When you get to be a certain age you realize that the only thing you have time for is doing exactly what you want. Rule #56
A girl has to look her best when shes still young enough to look real good. Rule #24

If youve got it, flaunt it within reason. Too much Southern Exposure will get his attention, but lose his respect. Rule #64

A Southern Belle has to have patience, because a man is often clueless about what he really wants. Of course, after a while patience gets real boring. So if hes too comfortable with the way things are, a Southern Belle has to shake things up. Rule #97
Men always find themselves the most fascinating subject of any conversation.

When in doubt, let him talk about himself. Hell think youre a brilliant conversationalist. Rule #11
Everyone likes to feel good about themselves. Especially men. You just kind of help them along. And when they feel good about themselves, they naturally feel good about you. Rule #50
Look at him over your shoulder or through your eyelashes and hell salivate like a Pavlovian dog. Pat the seat next to you and hell come bounding across the room.

Its usually all right to let him sit on the furniture. Rule #5

Let him know you think hes intelligent and hell be awed by your perspicacity, even if he cant pronounce the word. Rule #15
Laugh at his wit, and hell admire your sense of humor. Rule #13
Forget his stomach. The surest way to keep a man happy is to become his cheerleader. Rule #33

Men fantasize about being a knight and rescuing a maiden in distress. Encourage this, its a good thing. Theres no reason for you to have to struggle while pushing a heavy bag into an overhead compartment. Rule #73
A girl who lets a boy walk away mad risks losing him for good. Rule #8
The best way to get a boy to follow you is to walk out on him. If hes Mr. Right, thats just what hell do.

But some poor misguided men simply arent able to give you just what you need, much less what you want. The operative word is next! Rule #89
Sometimes doing good can be delightfully bad. Rule #75
A girl has to find out if theres life before death. Rule #47
A womans greatest power comes not from love, but unrequited lust. Rule #35
Unrequited lust can get real old. Rule #36
Love is like cigarettes. It gives you pleasure while youre at it, but it sometimes leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your chest. Rule #42
A girl doesnt have to give in to temptation, but she might not get another chance. Rule #39
The good Lord wouldnt have made temptations so attractive if He didnt expect us to give in to them every now and then. Rule #34
A girl can stand just so much virtue. Rule #95
When deciding whether or not to have sex, a Southern Belle does exactly what she wants while perpetuating the illusion that although this may not be her first time its certainly the first time that ever mattered. Rule #69

Boys are easy. Rule #41
A girl has to be honest with herself or shell never get anything out of life but a palace of lies. Rule #66
A smart girl is picky in her choice of men.
Rule #21
Once a girl says yes, its almost impossible to say no. Boys who respected your wishes before become hard-of-hearing. Rule #9
When a man gets hot, all the blood rushes from his head, taking his brain cells along for the ride. Rule #83
Men will say anything. A Southern Belle pays attention to what he does, never to what he says. Rule #79
What men call logic is all too often a convoluted rationalization in the service of their egos, neuroses, and prejudices. Knowing this, a smart woman deals with male logic from the vantage point of quiet superiority. Rule #81