Bonnie Marcus - Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power

Copyright 2021 by Bonnie Marcus

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ISBN 978-1-989603-78-9 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-989603-79-6 (ebook)

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changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

NOT DONE YET! is a
registered trademark of Bonnie Marcus.

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Edited by Kendra Ward
Copyedited by Crissy Calhoun
Proofread by Steph VanderMeulen
Cover design by Taysia Louie
Interior design by Fiona Lee
Author photo by Madeleine Vite
Printed and bound in Canada by Friesens
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
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Publishers Group West, a division of Ingram
Ebook by Bright Wing Media

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Most of my life Ive been pretty clueless about how my fears and assumptions have stifled me. I never really gave it too much thought until I started coaching other women to overcome their self-imposed barriers. Now with an increased attention to it, Ive become much more aware of how my own bullshit has hindered my success and restricted my ability to experience joy. I work every day to push aside the beliefs that dont serve me. But I have to say this: managing negative thoughts and emotions isnt easy and its an ongoing battle for all of us.

In reality, were all held prisoner by our beliefs. However, if these beliefs happen to be positive, we can count on them for support and encouragement when we need them. They can be our rock. One such belief might be that things will always turn out okay in the end. That belief gives you the confidence that no matter how difficult your current situation, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. This allows you to plow through some terrible times with the optimism that there are better circumstances on the horizon.

The negative voices in your head have an opposite effect. Im sure you hear the same voices many of us hear. Im not smart enough, not pretty enough. Ill never be successful. Im afraid people wont like me if they really know me. Im afraid my ideas arent worth sharing. My colleagues will laugh at my ideas and ridicule me. Any of this sound familiar? Negative voices keep you from fully showing up at work and owning your talent and authenticity. This chatter goes on for most of our lives. But that inner monologue morphs over time to include a lot of limiting beliefs and fears about aging, and thats where we are now.

Im telling you straight out: the fears and assumptions you have about aging will dramatically affect your ability to stay marketable and employed. No BS . And so, in this part, I call your attention to some of the ageist beliefs you may have that perhaps youre unaware of, because these have tremendous potential to sabotage your ongoing success and well-being. Once you have a better understanding of what they are and their influence, you can work to reframe the negative to support a more positive mindset. That positivity is essential in order for you to build your confidence to take on workplace challenges. You need an all-hands-on-deck approach to maintain your career as you age.

I dont promise that Ive covered every fear and assumption about being a fifty-plus professional woman. But as you read this section and do the exercises, you will have the opportunity to investigate your own personal beliefs, the ones that dont serve you and that set you up for failure. If you have positive assumptions, by all means, amplify them! But lets work on pushing the BS out of our lives as much as possible. This you control. And controlling your mindset is one of the most powerful badass things you can do. So, lets do it.

I was forty-nine years old when I lost out on a promotion despite the fact that Id worked my butt off, given my life to that company for nearly a decade, and had a consistent record of great performance. The rejection sucked. I felt betrayed and I was pissed. Instead of the VP job I wanted, they offered me a lateral position of AVP that would require me to relocate, which I took as another slap in the face. So, I left the company. Sayonara. Did I mention they gave the VP job to a man?

I was almost fifty and looking for a job. That wasnt something I had planned for by any means. I had naively thought I had some kind of job security because I was a top performer. I also believed, perhaps also naively, that although it might take some time, it wouldnt be difficult to find another position in a new company. That actually worked out to be true for me. I reached out to my network of former colleagues and let them know I was on the lookout for another job, and my dear friend Cheryl told me about an opening for a CEO position in her organization. I interviewed and got the job. It was a big promotion.

I could have let the experience of being passed over teach me that I was too old to get promoted. Yet never once did I think that I wouldnt land a higher-level job just because I had reached the big five-O. That belief would have sabotaged me. I wouldnt have been able to confidently position myself. Never once did I believe that I wasnt marketable. I believed the opposite was true. I was just coming off an incredible eight years at my last company. I grew my region from $ 10 million to $ 150 million. I opened new offices, expanded services, and won every award the company had to offer. So, yeah, I knew I was marketable despite losing out on the VP job I wanted. I was optimistic about my future.

Heres my point: at this age, youre at the peak of your career. This is when you have the most to offer. You know more today than youve ever known. So, if youre looking for a promotion, ask yourself this: Why should your age limit your value? You now have more experience and wisdom than ever before. Age enhances your value.

Experience = value

Wisdom = value

Therefore, age = value

See what I mean?

Listen, you didnt get to where you are today by slacking off. You didnt put in long hours and juggle work-life responsibilities or do the political dance at work for nothing. Youve worked hard. Youve accomplished a lot over the course of your career so far. And guess what? Youre not done yet, so stop telling yourself you are!

Does your track record suddenly have no value? Thats bullshit. You deserve to be promoted.

Look at the some of the worlds most powerful women who were promoted after fifty. At the age of sixty, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was appointed to the Supreme Court by President Clinton, and she remained there until her death, at eighty-seven. Nancy Pelosi was sixty-seven when she first became Speaker of the House, and then again at seventy-nine. And if you look at the top-ranked women CEO s of Fortune 500 companies, nine of the top ten are over fifty and the only woman who isnt fifty is forty-nine as of this writing.

Did any of these women think they were too old to get promoted? Can you imagine Nancy Pelosi saying, Im grateful to you for honoring me with this position of Speaker of the House, but I think Im too old to accept it? How would that go? All of these women put themselves out there to get promoted. They wanted it. Theyre ambitious and they dont believe that ambition has a timetable. They know their value. And by the way, consider the consequences for us if they werent in these positions!

I often tell my clients that theyre stingy if they hold themselves back and dont push themselves out of their comfort zone to do what it takes to get promoted. Theyre stingy because they have so much value to offer their team, their manager, their company. Sure, a promotion benefits you personally. You get more responsibility and power, more recognition, and probably more money. But your promotion also benefits others who will reap the rewards of your leadership and wisdom.