Rhonda Britten - Do I Look Fat in This?: Get Over Your Body and On With Your Life

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Table of Contents

PRAISE FOR Rhonda Britten

Youve seen her as life coach on the Emmy Award-winning Starting Over. Now start over yourself with advice on accepting your body type.

Library Journal

Rhonda Britten has risen from the ashes of genuine catastrophe...

What she has accomplished... and now helps others to accomplish as well, is nothing short of miraculous.

Marianne Williamson, New York Times bestselling author of A Return to Love and Illuminata

Rhonda Britten can show you how to leave your fear behind and live your life with freedom and joy.

Dave Pelzer, New York Times bestselling author of A Child Called It and A Man Named Dave

Ms. Britten gives the reader thoughtful and creative approaches to conquering fear and doubt in order to love unencumbered.

Dr. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, author of Forgive for Good

Books by Rhonda Britten

Fearless Living
Fearless Loving
Change Your Life in 30 Days

Dedicated to my dear friend Marta, who forced me to face my body when it was the last thing I wanted to do.

MARTA
After 40-pound Weight Loss
Height: 5 412 Weight: 139 pounds Age: 53
Body Image: I love my body more than I ever have!

LETTER TO THE READER

After writing three previously published and best-selling books, I consider myself to be a somewhat courageous writersomeone unafraid of going deep and baring her soul. If I thought that what I had gone through could help others, I had little hesitancy in exposing it. Within the pages of each of my books, I shared many personal thingsincluding my parents horrific death at the hand of my father, my painful divorce from a man I was deeply in love with, and my insecurities as a woman in her forties in the intimidating world of dating. I wrote about my ups and downs, and everything in between. But in spite of all that self-revealing, this time around, that experience and confidence has been useless in writing the book you now hold in your hands. Sharing how I feel about my body and my body imageputting it all into words on paper for you to readhas brought every one of my vulnerabilities to the surface. This, by far, is my most difficult book to date.

When I began writing Fearless Living, my first book, I was an inexperienced writer, but the subject matter was something I knew well. I had taught various forms of Fearless Living in workshops and seminars for years, and had seen the strength of the information. I knew the principles I was espousing had also transformed my life, so in the midst of my unschooled writing, I had faith that the book was, in and of itself, valuable and important. I believed it would change peoples lives. I was sharing what I knew, after the factafter I had honed the tools for myself. Sure, I was scared; it was my first book. But the vulnerable parts of myself that I was sharing, I had already healed. I had already grieved for and forgiven my parents deaths. I had already moved past my divorce. I had already uncovered the mechanics of fear. I was writing from a historical perspective.

My next book, Fearless Loving, felt equally important, but with one successful book under my belt, I felt even safer sharing my journey through love. Heck, hadnt I helped countless men and women find love? I knew that what I was writing about worked. Single women by the hundreds took my workshops, and soon, reports were coming in that more and more of them were hearing wedding bells. I had practiced the dating principles myself for years, with loving results. Everyone said they felt more love in their lives after incorporating the tools I shared. All I had to do was write down what I knew. This, too, was a book based largely in the past.

Change Your Life in 30 Days, my third book, was the easiest to write. Based on my workshops and speaking events, I knew what people wanted. I chronicled the journey of transformation I had taught from the beginning of my life-coaching practice ten years ago, and included all the topics I regularly discussed, all the tools and skills Id assigned to hundreds of my clients and the proven principles of change, but had never written down, all of the things my clients and workshop attendees seemed to clamor to hear and wanted me to repeat over and over again. I completed the book in less than thirty days.

The book you now hold in your hands, however, has been a completely different experience for meand one that Im not entirely comfortable with yet. I have been working in earnest on my body image for the past three years. This issue is on the surface of every aspect of my life, and I have learned so much. I have learned that you cant hide from your body, no matter how hard you try. I have learned that you can deny your fears for years, or avoid love for decades, but thats not so easy when it comes to your body. We use our bodies every day. Theyre front and centergoing with us wherever we go. Your body, my body, is right out there for all the world to see.

At this moment, I am sitting at my favorite restaurant in Los Angelesa busy, bustling, yet cozy place called Marmalade Caf. The managers have become friends, and no one seems to mind that I often sit for hours at my table typing away. As always, I have ordered an egg-white frittata, chock-full of vegetables, with a side of French toast, covered in blueberries, bananas, strawberries, and maple syrup. Healthy to some, indulgent to others. While my feast is being delivered to my table, the woman next to me leans over and asks me if I am an author. Yes! I answer with pride. Having fantasized about being a writer for most of my life, now that I am, it is not only a goal accomplished, but more importantly, a dream fulfilled.

What are you writing about? the woman asks hesitantly.

Body image, I blurt out, noticing how almost immediately she begins to eye me with suspicion. Actually, as the woman speaks to me about how she thinks that sounds interesting, and blah, blah, blah, she is totally checking out my body! Its not even like shes trying to pretend otherwise, as her eyes deliberately scan my form from head to toe, landing for an uncomfortably long moment on my outwardly stretched belly.

I know what shes thinking. I swear I can hear her inner chatter.

You? Writing a book on body image? You dont have that great of a body. I sure wouldnt want to read anything you have to say, if the goal is to look like you.

And on it goes...

And French toast? You shouldnt be eating all that bread and sugar if you care about your body. What kind of expert could you be?!

My salad is absolutely delicious, she announces, interrupting my thoughts. Is that a hint? I wonder. I pull my sweater closer.

This woman would be hard-pressed to knock me for being the author of my past three books. I mean, who can argue that I know a thing or two about fear? Ive lived through some of the worst experiences life can dish out. But, to write as an expert on the body? Well, you just have to look at mine to easily surmise that I probably dont have much worth saying.

Ironically, to some people, I will be seen as too thin (and have always been too thin, despite being fat for me) to know the pain of being truly fat, and therefore, I will never understand what it is like to be overweight. While to others, particularly people who admire the supermodel ideal, I will be seen as too chunky to be taken seriously. Everyone will have an opinion. That is frightening, to say the least.

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