Christie Craig - Wild, Wicked & Wanton: 101 Ways To Love Like Youre in a Romance Novel

Title Page

Wild, Wicked & Wanton

101 Ways to Love Like Youre in a Romance Novel

Christie Craig & Faye Hughes

Bestselling Romance Authors

Avon, Massachusetts

Copyright

Copyright 2010 by Christie Craig and Faye Hughes

All rights reserved.

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any

form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are

made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by

Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.

57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.

www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-60550-059-3

ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-059-1

eISBN 10: 1-4405-0718-X

eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0718-2

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Dedication

Dedicated to all the Keepers who inspired this book... and to all the Creepers who taught us lessons along lifes path that prepared us to find true love and our true romance heroes

Contents

Heroines Recognize the Difference... Eventually

Sometimes It Takes a Bad Girl to Do It

Secondary Characters Who Can Wreak Havoc with Your Love Life

(With or Without Your Magic Eight Ball)

Why Romance Heroines Never Have to Fake an Orgasm

How to Harness and Exploit Your Jealousy

Settle the Score Like a True Romance Heroine

Dealing with Emotional Firestorms

How to Overcome and Move On after Ex-Mr. Wonderful Walks Away

Or How Jayne Finally Found Her True Romance Hero

Acknowledgments

Our heartfelt appreciation to: Our agents, Kim Lionetti of BookEnds LLC and Caren Johnson Estesen of Caren Johnson Literary Agency for believing in us; our editor Chelsea King, without whose support this book wouldnt have been possible; to our familiesSteve, Steven, Nina, and Jason; and to our friend and critique partner, Jody, for going above and beyond the call of duty.

We thank you all.

Introduction

The Real Reason Romance Heroines Always Get Their True Hero (And How You Can, Too!)

Have you ever wished you knew the secret to having it all? You know the secrets were talking about, right? The secret to finding Mr. Wonderfula man so wonderful that you cant remember the last time you had to fake it. The secret to building a relationship that worksa feeling that will have you walking taller, smiling brighter, and speaking your mind with no regrets.

Or have you ever wanted to rewrite a chapter of your romantic life that didnt work out so well, or maybe plot the next chapter a bit better than you did the last so you can find your Mr. Wonderful? Stupid questions, huh? What woman hasnt wished that she had that kind of power?

As romance writers, weve given the whole question of romance a comprehensive study. And by comprehensive study, we mean that we have analyzed, dissected, poked fun at, and even tossed romance in the laundryand not the gentle cycle, either. We had to. After all, its our job. Romance novels may be all about the happy endings. But happy beginnings? Well, not so much.

Our heroines face it all in the course of our books: bad lovers, cheating exes, weight problems, dwindling bank accounts, morning breath, pushy mothers, cellulite, bad hair days, lingering childhood traumas, and occasionally a lack of dark chocolate during the wrong time of the month. Then, just to make sure life isnt too easy (read, boring) for our heroines, we sometimes toss in a few of the more difficult hurdles. You know, things like secret babies, once presumed dead but now miraculously alive ex-lovers, and one or two unidentified dead bodies in their showers or the trunks of their cars. Depending on our moods or our own lack of chocolate, we might even add in a few serial killers, a vampire cult, ancient curses, and/or a case or two of amnesia. But no matter what we toss in our heroines paths, they always manage to get their menand their happy endings. As authors, we have to make sure of it. Why? Well, for one thing, our readers demand it. Plus, we kind of like things that way, too.

Okay, we know what youre thinking. Yes, romance novels arent real and neither are the obstacles our heroines face in the pursuit of a lasting relationship, but you can still learn a lot from a romance heroine. Were even banking on the fact that you can learn a thing or two from a couple of romance writers who spend hours every day putting their characters into bad situations and then giving them the tools they need to get out of them.

What kind of tools you ask? Well, tools like a purse-sized Smith and Wesson, a bottle of demon acid, or the head of a chicken to nix a curse. But there are other attributes we give our heroines to help them deal with all the relationship crap. Were talking about courage, strength, wisdom, and some good ol kick-ass gumption. Our heroines dont wish they had said something, they say it. They dont sit around and fret about their problems, either; they set out to fix them. They dig deep within themselves, discover their hidden strengths, and write their own happy endings. And couldnt we all use a little bit of their wisdom to deal with our real lives and with real men?

So with that premise in mind, how can you love like youre a romance heroine? (With or without the attacks from the vampire cult, the surprise arrivals of secret babies, or that serial killer.) We have a few ideas. (Okay, a lot of ideas.) And we hope that this book will inspire a few ideas of your own about how to overcome relationship hurdles, deal with miscellaneous man mayhem, and maybe, just maybe help you write a few wonderful chapters of your own romance novel.

So, lets get started. Assume for a moment that youre our heroine. Were going to call you... er, her, Jayne. Now, we need to give Jayne an identity and a brief history that helps explain why she is the way she is. (In fiction, we call that a back story.) Jayne is an ordinary woman in a lot of ways but shes extraordinary in her approach to love and life. Jayne is about your age. Shes also roughly your height and weightand, no, she wont admit to her weight any more than you would.

Jayne is single. Shes had her heart broken a few times but shed still like to believe that true love exists (and not just in romance novels, either, thank you very much). As the litany of assorted ex-boyfriends and ex-fiancs begin, we should also point out that Jayne isnt a slut even though this book makes her look as if shes dated every eligibleand a few not-so-eligiblemen in North America, along with a couple of foreign imports. (After all, after starring in a few thousand romance novels, a girl does gain a lot of back story.) So believe us when we tell you that Jaynes a good girl... except when shes bad.