Aja McClanahan - How a Mother Should Talk About Money with Her Daughter: A Step-by-Step Guide to Budgeting, Saving, Investing, and Other Important Lessons

To my favorite money muses with love: Lodena, Sandra, Alanah, & Reagan. You are the generations of compassion and change.

Copyright 2020 by Aja McClanahan

All rights reserved. Copyright under Berne Copyright Convention, Universal Copyright Convention, and Pan American Copyright Convention. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Allworth Press, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

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Published by Allworth Press, an imprint of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018. Allworth Press is a registered trademark of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation.

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Cover design by Mary Ann Smith

Cover illustration by iStock

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Print ISBN: 978-1-62153-742-7

eBook ISBN: 978-1-62153-743-4

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

If you are a mom, aunt, grandmother, big cousin, schoolteacher, or have contact with women you mentor in some capacity, this book is for you. I wrote this book so that we, as women of influence, can begin to have important, compelling talks about money with the women who look up to us for advice.

I think the biggest problem we face is knowing that our personal money situation might not be perfect, so we dont feel comfortable broaching the subject with anyone, let alone any young woman who might actually take the advice we give to them. After all, what if we give them the wrong advice?

The point of this book is not so much to give advice as it is to get the conversation around money going. Just like we talk about men, relationships, beauty tips, and other girlie things, we can talk about money. Can you still give beauty tips out even if you are not a high-fashion model? Of course you can! Can you talk about relationships even if youve had several that failed? Yes!

The purpose of this book isnt to make you a money guru. Its designed to help you become confident when it comes to talking about money with the women you love. These can be your daughters, sisters, coworkers, friends, or any women in your life you want to pow-wow with around money.

My dream is to make money talk as common (and fun) as talking about the latest celebrity gossip, fashion, parenting, mimosa, or whatever it is you find interesting and enriching. I want to see women curl up with this book as they sip evening tea and relax from a hectic day or week.

Id like to see women sitting on their daughters twin bed, hand on their mini-mes shoulder while looking deeply in their eyes saying, Daughter, lets have the talk about money. Heres what you need to know about me and heres what Id like you to avoid and learn from my mistakes. Just like youd warn her against silly boys who could break her heart, Id want you to warn her about the financial negligence and apathy that could rob her of her future.

The point of this book is to start conversations that lead to the village to finally talk about and tackle serious money issues that concern women together . After reading this book, my hope is that youll take what you read into your tribes and fearlessly talk about your credit score, student loans, or retirement savings at brunchno matter how embarrassing it might feel.

Hopefully, everyone around you will be relieved that you are starting the conversation and are actually being transparent about it. Maybe theyll be happy that they can finally talk about their money stress and find some respite from what worries them. Maybe theyll learn something they never knew about.

Maybe theyll walk away feeling encouraged about their financial future. Perhaps theyll get new ideas and a fresh outlook on how to manage their money going forward. What if someone is able to craft a brand-new, well-fitting, and perfectly customized financial plan that makes them look forward to the future because of you? What if they just feel comfortable to air out their fears and concerns about money because of you?

The possibilities of the good that can come from this conversation are endless. Your bravery could be the very thing that inspires someone else to start their own money conversations in their own circles.

The stakes are just too high not to engage in the money talk we all dream of having but are just too scared to share. What better place to start than in our homes with the women on whom we have the most influence? Our daughters are part of the rising generation that will inherit a world for which we prepare them. I say, lets bring money as front and center as we would education, relationships, and career choices.

If you dont have a daughter quite yet or dont plan to, no worries. Youve still got a role to play in this village-wide conversation. We all do. Weve all got circles where we need to have that come to Jesus moment about money.

Though weve got a ways to go, I can see the seeds of change starting to bloom. Im encouraged when I see regular people on Instagram talk about their money ups and downs. On one post someone might admit that they blew their carefully planned budget with weekend partying. On another, that same person might turn down the chance to buy those $600 Christian Louboutins because theyre saving for a down payment on a home.

Then, of course, theres the influencer crowd whose niche is personal finance. If you follow any of them, many of them are blazing crazy trails when it comes to removing the stigma around money conversations. Even more mainstream artists and actors are touting personal financial responsibility more than ever. (Even though I feel like theres still more talk about stunting than saving, it seems like the tide might finally be changing.)

The way the world is more connected and coming together on topics like money gives me hope that well find solutions to bridge the gender wage and wealth gap sooner than later. You can be on the front lines of this trend or on the tail end trying to catch up. Hopefully, this book motivates you to be the former!

Finally, I want to tell you what money conversations did for me and my financial situation. I delivered a TEDx Talk called Money Conversations with Our Daughters, and revealed the money conversations that changed my life.

My grandmother, Lodena Pouncey, was born in Mississippi and came to Chicago during the Great Migration with thousands of other Blacks that wanted to escape the oppressive racism of the deep South. This racism was salient and far-reachingstifling both the soul and the pocketbook.

As a youngster in Chicago, she earned money by cleaning homes for wealthy people in the suburbs. She didnt make tons of money doing it, but she managed to get married, buy a home, and build a life that would help her support both friends and family members financially for years to come.