Rick Johnson - A Moms Guide to Understanding Her Son

You hear his little feet stomping up the wooden porch steps fast as they can go on a summers afternoon. You yell, Dont slam the screen d SLAM!

Mom! Mom! he hollers, so out of breath he can hardly get the words out. Why are boys are so loud? you think. You hand him a glass of water, and he attempts to drink and tell his oh-so-important story at the same time.

Mom GULP I GULP saw GULP , PANT , PANT the most GULP biggest GULP , PANT , PANT ...

You smile at him and gently push the hair from his eyes, lovingly studying his countenance. What you see causes your heart to melt like the chocolate bar he left on your dashboard in the hot sun. His smudged face, his dirty T-shirt, and the grass-stained knees of his jeans tell you hes been on some outrageous adventure about which you can only guess. His hair is damp with sweat, and hes got that incredible boy smell about himone part fresh-cut grass, one part odor of dog, one part unwashed hands that have been who knows where, and one part long-lost dreams from your own childhood. You gaze at him with love, wondering what he will be like as a man.

Then with a start you think, How am I ever going to raise this little guy into a good man?

What makes boys so special? Is it their love of bugs, dirt, dogs, baseball, explosions, loud noises, heavy equipment, and Kool-Aid? Or is it because they dont like taking baths, being kissed, eating vegetables, or having their noses wiped and ears cleaned? To mothers, these and all the other things that make boys special can present a confusing mix of contradictions. Particularly to women who were not raised with brothers or even a father, the odors, noises, and general rambunctiousness of boys can be downright frightening, or at the very least overwhelming.

I have nothing but respect and admiration for mothers, especially single mothers, who are interested in trying to help grow their sons to become good men. The horrifying truth is that 85 percent of custodial single parents are mothers. I cant begin to fathom how difficult it must be to raise and provide for a family without the support of a spouse.

Its important for you to understand that Im not a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or even a trained counselor. Im also not an expert father, to which my kids will readily attest. I make mistakes every day. Im just an average parent like most of you, trying to raise my kids the best I can. Ive just been fortunate to have received some extra training and to have read many good books.

Also, its important to understand that I will be using some generalizations throughout this book. These are meant to portray characteristics men and women can relate to, not to promote stereotypes.

One thing Im not going to tell you is how to be a mother. Youre a better mother than Ill ever be. But maybe I can provide some insight into what it takes to be a man. After all, I am a manby some accounts, a fairly good manIve been a boy, and Ive raised a pretty good son nearly into manhood. Ive worked with hundreds of men over the years, learning about their childhoods and the areas they struggle with daily. That doesnt make me an expert, but hopefully, it will allow me to give you some insight into what makes us males tick.

Having said that, I dedicate this book to all the moms out there who are struggling to make it. Moms who work all day and come home and cook meals and clean the house, sometimes with little or no support from the father of their children. Moms who do without day after day so their kids can eat, have a roof over their heads, and have shoes and clothes to wear. Moms who are trying their best to raise a family on their own without the resources and support of a two-parent family. Moms who, despite the hardships, never quit.

I hope this book will ease your burden by helping you understand how boys think, how best to communicate with these strange little creatures, and how to help them become good men so that someday your grandchildren will look up at you and say, Thank you, Grandma, for raising such a good daddy for me.