Rick Johnson - Thats My Teenage Son: How Moms Can Influence Their Boys to Become Good Men

2011 by Rick Johnson

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2010

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-1423-2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, Ltd., 10152 S. Knoll Circle, Highlands Ranch, CO 80130.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

To Frank
This is my son, whom I love;
with him I am well pleased.

S O MANY PEOPLE make writing a book possible. Thanks to my awesome editor, Dr. Vicki Crumpton, and my favorite in-house editor, Barb How Does She Do That? Barnes. Not only are they smarter than me, but they willingly make me look good (which is really important by my way of thinking), all without even taking any of the credit. I also appreciate all the great people at Revell and Baker Publishing Group who work so hard to produce and sell my books. There are too many to list, but please know that I do appreciate each and every one of you.

Thanks to all the people who support me behind the scenes and help make our ministry possible. Whether you are a donor, a volunteer, a member of our prayer team, or on my advisory board, please know that Suzanne and I thank God for your presence in our lives every day. Without your generous partnership, we could not touch the lives of so many people around the world. I am honored by your faithfulness.

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough toknow when he is weak, and brave enough to face himselfwhen he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbendingin honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son whose wishes will not take the placeof deeds; a son who will know Theeand that to knowhimself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him,I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under thestress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let himlearn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassionfor those who fail.

Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goalwill be high; a son who will master himself before he seeksto master other men; one who will reach into the future,yet never forget the past. And after all these things arehis, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that hemay always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously.Give him humility, so that he may always remember thesimplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom,and the meekness of true strength. Then, I... will dareto whisper, I have not lived in vain.

General Douglas MacArthur

Many people have said to me, What a pity you had sucha big family to raise. Think of the novels and the shortstories and the poems you never had time to write becauseof that. And I looked at my children and I said, Theseare my poems. These are my short stories.

Olga Masters

Of all the animals, the boy is most unmanageable.

Plato

One Foot in the World of Boys
and One Foot in the World of Manhood

Having children is like having a bowling alley installedin your brain.

Martin Mull

I MAGINE YOURE SITTING inside a darkened movie theater. The smell of popcorn fills the air and your shoes stick to the cola-covered floor. Girls huddle together giggling in the front rows while boys make noise and show off in the back. As the lights dim and the movie trailer starts, you hear a deep bass voice booming out of the darkness, Imagine a world where a teenage son comes home from school and does his homework, always gets good grades, cleans his room without being nagged, has wholesome friends, regularly showers and wears clean clothes, and willingly attends church. All the parents of teenage boys in the audience gasp in wonder. A few moms faint at the very thought of such a boy, and even a dad or two wipes a tear from the corner of his eye.

Sounds like a fantasy movie, doesnt it? Some of you might think you entered The Twilight Zone. I suppose there are some kids like that, but that hasnt been my reality nor that of most people I know who live with a teenage son. I know some parents whose sons excelled in academics, sports, and every other imaginable extracurricular activity. Some of them went on to attend Ivy League colleges, prestigious military academies, or some other high-achieving endeavor. From outside appearances they appeared to be the perfect kids. Subsequent results proved that not all of them succeeded as well as would be anticipated. But it was enough to make me question occasionally whether or not I was a good parent.

In reality, most of the teenage sons of people I know have struggles and are less than perfect. They act out or rebel by doing stuff like getting body parts pierced, cutting or dyeing their hair into weird looks, getting tattooed, and wearing ridiculous clothing. Many get into their fair share of trouble; some even drop out of school, take drugs, have sex outside of marriage, or lie, cheat, and steal. Frequently when our kids perform at a less-than-perfect level, we feel like failures. The teenage years can be a frustrating time in parents lives. Especially for moms of sons, this time can be confusing, exasperating, and exhilarating all at the same time.

The other reality is that most of the time we are crazy about this boy who holds so much of our hopes and dreams. We love his good habits, like when he does something remarkably responsible without being told. Or when he says, Mom, I love you for no reason at all. His expressions of affection become more treasured as they become less frequent. When he shows courage and honesty, we swell with pride. Our heart melts at the way he looks when the light hits his face just right and we see the handsome man he will someday become.