Susan Crain Bakos - The Little Book of the Big Orgasm

MORE TECHNIQUES & GAMES FOR
AMAZING ORGASMS THAN YOU
COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE TRYING

SUSAN CRAIN BAKOS
Author of The Sex Bible

CHAPTER 1
The Orgasm Loop

CHAPTER 2
Insatiable Bodies

CHAPTER 3
Insatiable Minds

CHAPTER 4
My Right-Hand Man: Masturbatory Techniques

CHAPTER 5
Prime the Pump: Great Foreplay Techniques

CHAPTER 6
His and Her Orgasms

CHAPTER 7
Eat Me Right and On Your Knees: Oral Sex Techniques

CHAPTER 8
Beyond the Obvious (Quickies and Anal Orgasms)

CHAPTER 9
Repeat After Me (Multiple Orgasms and Orgasm Positions)

CHAPTER 10
Come Together: The Orgasm Connection

For more than twenty years, I have been a sex advisor, writing sex advice columns in magazines from Penthouse Forum to Redbook as well as books. I have surveyed and interviewed thousands of women and men, and everyone wants to know how to have or give their partner an orgasm. If thats your question, too, then youve come to the right place. This book may be small enough to fit in your handbag, but its packed with all the advice youll ever need for getting, receiving, or having as many orgasms as you want. Write to me at sexyprime.typepad.com and tell me what works for you.

Lets start with some basic anatomy. Now that may sound boring, but the many myths about orgasm may be keeping you from having them.

Truth #1: Female orgasm doesnt usually happen via intercourse alone. Anatomy and physiology are the determining factors here. Most women are not built to get all the stimulation they need to reach orgasm through the friction of intercourse. That friction works great for him. But it will only produce orgasm for her if she is one of approximately 25 percent of women who have what I call an innie clitoris. Some belly buttons pop out, some go in. Some clitorises stand out as soon as the woman is excited. Others hide beneath their hoods and the tongue must search for them. All women have an extensive clitoral network of nerve endings reaching into the vaginal walls. Women who reach orgasm during intercourse may have more extensive nerve endings. Heres the bottom line: Intercourse alone will not lead to orgasm in about three-quarters of all women.

Orgasms are splendid. They are worth pursuing. Having them makes everyone happier, healthier, and more connected to their own sexuality as well as to their partners. For women, the ability to reach orgasm easily and often is empowering. Whats more, good sex and orgasm creates intimacy between lovers, something most women really crave.

So if youre one of those 75 percent of women who do not come in intercourse alone, dont be shy about getting what you needdirect clitoral stimulation. Whether its your own hand, your partners tongue or finger, or a vibrator you need something other than his penis thrusting in and out of you to reach orgasm.

Truth #2: Theres more than one way to have an orgasm. In fact, there are many ways, all of which will be spelled out in this book. But before you jump into the techniques, let me give you a quick tutorial His and Her Hot Spots. Ill start with yours.

Hot spots are those magic button places on your body. You have them. He has them. You know where most of yourand hishot spots are, but you may not be hitting them (or connecting them with his) in the most effective way possible. If the hot-spot connections are good during foreplay and intercourse, orgasm is more likely to happen and to be more intense.

Explore your hot spots and discover how they react to varying stimuli. You can do this during masturbation, and then take that knowledge into lovemaking, or you can do it together.

Nearly all women know that their clitoris (or C spot) is that little pink glans (or head) inside the hood at the top where the labia (vaginal lips) come together. It is sometimes compared to the penis because of its shaftlike shape. For the majority of women, the clitoris and the surrounding tissue is the most sexually sensitive part of the body. The nerve endings of the clitoris actually run deeper into the genitals than you might guessmaking this the hottest of hot spots.

The G-spot is that spongy mass of rough tissue located in the front wall of the vagina halfway between the pubic bone and the cervix and below the opening of the urethra. (Because you feel it through the vagina, the G-spot has been erroneously defined as being inside it.) It was named after the German physician Ernst Grafenberg, who discovered it in the 1940s, though this spot was familiar territory to the Indian author of the Kama Sutra five thousand years earlier.

Cant find it? Place your hand, palm up, at the entrance of your vagina. Insert two fingers and make the come hither gesture. Nothing? Try squatting. Some women find it easier to locate their G-spot in that position. Nothing yet?

Use a vibrator, either a special G-spot vibe or an attachment to one you have. That is the simplest and best way to discover the G-spot.

Near the G-spot is the AFE zone, a small, sensitive patch of textured, but not rough, skin at the top of the vagina closer to the cervix. Stroking the AFE zone makes almost any woman lubricate immediately. Explore the front wall of your vagina with one finger. When you feel moisture forming beneath your finger, youve hit the AFE zone.

AFE zone stands for anterior fornix erotic zone. A sexologist in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, rediscovered this area and named it in 1994. But, again, the Kama Sutra got there first.

We typically dont think of the urethra as a sexy place. But the tiny area of tissue above the opening of the urethra (and right below the clitoris) is a separate pleasure point. Many women stimulate their U spots during masturbation without being aware that they are doing so. Men typically discover it by accident while looking for the clitoris.

If youve ever thought, Thats not the place, but wait a minute, it feels good, hes hit your U-spot with his finger or tongue. And its a good place for him to shift his attention between orgasms if your clitoris is too sensitive to the touch for a few moments. Try that after your first orgasm while masturbating.