Kelly Cutrone - Normal Gets You Nowhere

Normal Gets You Nowhere

Kelly Cutrone
with Meredith Bryan

For Ava,

my mother,

and the Universal Mother

Do not simply believe what you hear just because you have heard it for a long time.

Do not follow tradition blindly merely because it has been practiced in that way for many generations.

Do not be quick to listen to rumors.

Do not confirm anything just because it agrees with your scriptures.

Do not foolishly make assumptions.

Do not abruptly draw conclusions by what you see and hear.

Do not be fooled by outward appearances.

Do not hold on tightly to any view or idea just because you are comfortable with it.

Do not accept as fact anything that you yourself find to be logical.

Do not be convinced of anything out of respect or deference to your spiritual teachers.

You should go beyond opinion and belief. You can rightly reject anything which when accepted, practiced, and perfected leads to more aversion, more craving and more delusion. They are not beneficial and to be avoided.

Conversely, you can rightly accept anything which when accepted and practiced leads to unconditional love, contentment and wisdom. These things allow you time and space to develop a happy and peaceful mind.

This should be your criteria on what is and what is not the truth; on what should be and what should not be the spiritual practice.

From the Kalama Sutta, The Buddha

Contents

Im not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. Ive always been a freak. So Ive been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. Im one of those people.

John Lennon

I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all.

Johnny Depp

O ne day last spring, I got a call from my publishing company. They were ready to talk book number two. What? I thought. Book number one just came out three months ago! Are these people on crack? It turns out my editor didnt just want any second bookshe wanted me to rewrite the Ten Commandments! By now I was sure she hated me. She was probably envisioning me writing things like, Thou shalt have sex with whomever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want. (And actually, that is a commandment Id write.) Even though every fiber in my beingas well as my years of professional experiencescreamed, NO! I decided to give the Commandments a once-over, just to make sure I wasnt missing anything.

I mean, have you read them lately? I pulled them up online, and I have to say number nine really got me going:

You shall not covet your neighbors house; you shall not covet your neighbors wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything that is your neighbors.

Oh, you know, anything that is your neighbors his ox, his ass, or his wife! As I suspected, I was not down with this. I told my editor I would respectfully pass on rewriting the Ten Commandments, but that Id love to write a second book, thank you very much.

And this time I started with the assumption that you already know that 90 percent of what were seeing around us and being asked to do and agree with is complete and utter bullshit, whether its called commandments or the Law. Im writing for all of you who have ever stood up against the falsity thats been labeled truth and shoved down our throats as well as anyone who still aspires to. But most of all, this book is for people who want to find personal fulfillment and success in their career, but also live in a world full of unique, creative, expressive individuals who march to the beat of the Divines drummer, agreeing on things like basic human rights and the need to end suffering.

Basically, this book is for freaks. In my opinion, we need to raise an army of supertalented uberfreaks if were ever going to really change the worldsince its only freaks who ever have. Look at Steve Jobs, Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, Vivienne Westwood, The Mother, Nelson Mandela, Indira Gandhi, Benjamin Franklin, Bono, Vincent Van Gogh, Paco Rabanne, Che Guevara, Amelia Earhart, Leonardo Da Vinci, Pope Joan, Leonard Cohen, Beethoven, Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc... well, you get the picture. How many of these people followed anyone elses rules? Could any of them possibly be considered anything close to normal?

Lets pause for a moment to see what Merriam-Webster has to say about normal:

nor-mal: a: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle; b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern; 4 a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development.

Duh. I rest my case. Who wants to be that?

By now you probably know that I have little patience for the teachers, parents, bosses, and even friends who tell everyone they need to sit quietly and fit in. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in and were definitely not normal. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people put a spotlight on their differencesand changed humanity in the process. Is it possible that the so-called normal people, the ones doing things the way the majority of people are doing them, are the crazy ones? I mean, have you ever visited Wal-Mart at around eleven on a Friday night? It is one of the scariest biospheres of zombie Thriller normalcy Ive ever seen!

Ive now been working for over twenty-five yearslonger, if you count the snow-shoveling business I started at the age of ten up in Syracuse, which employed four other kids (okay, two were my brother and sister)and Ive interviewed thousands of people for an array of positions. To be honest, I dread every so-called normal person who walks through the door. The mantra that always plays in my head is, Same ole, same ole. Its time we started seeing words like kooky, abnormal, crazy, eccentric, and freak as what they are: character differentiation . I know you dont feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?

And once you agree youre actually as distinctive and individual as your thumbprint even if youve been programmed to behave in normal ways then what? How do we use our specific eccentricities to make a difference in ourselves, our immediate community, our chosen field of employment, and ultimately the world? I happen to believe that the days of going to work all day, making a shitpot of money, and blowing it all on sex, drugs, and rock n rollor any of the other things on this planet that exist to make us feel full and completeare over.

Please dont misconstrue this. I want you to have a fucking great time. But I think its absolutely essential for you to know you are sacred, magical, and special, to nurture that truth and unleash it into the world . Thats right. I want you to fuck this earth with your energy. Its about time we stood for something real. Im suggesting that what is real is you . That means your message and purpose in this world will be different than mine, and that the more you really start to know yourself and gain life experiencewhen you really start to crack yourself openyoull naturally find it.

What do you have to say? What in this world are you called to fight for?

Is it human rights, peace, or polar bears and nature? Is it, as it is for me, young women and gay men? If you aspire to be yourself, and I hope you do, things like education, self-confidence, and learning to communicate and defend yourself are superimportant tools. The truth of the matter is, if you want to find success outside the norm, you really have to fine-tune your skills and become incredibly good at what you do.