Chantal Heide - Dating 101: Understanding the Drives, Behaviours, and Emotions Behind Love

DATING 101

Understanding The Drives, Behaviours, and Emotions Behind Love

Chantal Heide

Copyright 2018 by Chantal Heide

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Chantal Heide

www.canadasdatingcoach.com

Ordering Information:

Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above.

Printed in Canada

Chantal Heide.

DATING 101 UNDERSTANDING THE DRIVES, BEHAVIOURS, AND EMOTIONS BEHIND LOVE

p. cm.

ISBN 13 978-1986571845

ISBN 10 198657184x

1. Family and Relationships Dating

First Edition

14 13 12 11 10 / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Other books by Chantal Heide

Comeback Queen 7 Steps to Making a Triumphant Return to Dating After Divorce

Fake Love Need Not Apply The Single Girls Guide To Avoiding Posers Losers Scammers And Predators Online

No More Assholes Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding The Real Man Youre Looking For

After The First Kiss Making Your First Year Together Ridiculously Awesome

Fix That Shit A Couples Guide To Getting Past The Sticky Stuff

Say Yes To Goodness 10 Steps To A Complete And Happy You

For my Tribe

Contents

Acknowledgements

Thank you to my dear husband, Dennis. Without you I wouldnt be this wise, this loved, and this happy. You are my muse, and your light helps me spread hope far and wide.

Thank you again to my favourite editor Kit Duncan. I love your challenges and how you fix my loosey gooseyness.

Thank you, my readers, for letting me spark your imagination and taking you down paths that bring new peace to your minds. Youre helping me spread Goodness throughout this world, and Im loving you for it.

And thank you to my amazing fur babies, Lulu and Maggie; you are my constant companions and reminders that life is worth getting down on the floor and feeling goofy about.

DATING 101

Introduction

No matter your age or gender, this book is intended to be The Guide that keeps you from needing my relationship self-help books down the road.

The idea for Dating 101 came to me during my early writing days as I sat in bookstore after bookstore selling No More Assholes and Comeback Queen to women who needed emotional healing and a relationship pattern breaker. Something that would lead them out of the painful cycle of seeking familiar wrongs. Something to teach them once and for all how to be, recognize, and accept what was right when it came to functional love.

As I talked to these women about not kissing for three months so they could choose a partner based on information rather than just chemistry, Id watch their eyes shift from dubious to amazed enlightenment. Theyd disclose the massive relationship mistakes they made because they simply didnt understand some basic, fundamental truths.

And in my mind, this needed to be fixed ASAP.

So I found myself shoving copies of No More Assholes into the hands of moms and dads walking by with their teenage daughters, telling them, This is what your daughter needs to know before she starts dating! I knew the knowledge inside was vital yet unreasonably omitted from basic Sex Ed, causing a huge educational gap when it came to understanding how to get into a great relationship and keep it growing in the right direction.

And as we stand here today that lack of information is adding statistics to the growing number of people getting divorced or unhappily putting up with sub-par behaviour , simply because they have no idea how to create something ideal (AKA, magical) for both themselves and their partners.

But No More Assholes wasnt written for those younger women, and for the first time I wanted to write a book based entirely on a need Id observed those countless weekends spent in bookstores with my fluffy Pomeranian mix, Lulu.

Motivated by a desire to create happiness thatll resonate for generations, I decided to create a more comprehensive sex-ed guide for both male and female young adults. A book that addresses the mistakes our culture commonly makes and illuminates them before they happen. A book that gives individuals so much insight into our inner functionings and fundamental natures, they go forth into the world with a better understanding of their desires and reactions, empowering them to navigate attraction and love in a clearer way than ever before. The information found here shines a light onto what takes place throughout all three aspects of our bodies during attraction our biological animal, our logical minds, and our soulful spirits. Never forget, knowledge is power, and with clarity comes the sort of life that feels happy and fulfilled.

This book contains the simple yet overlooked information weve needed all along. Inside, I help our youth understand the chemical reactions that take place within them, filling their bodies with intense sensations we call emotions and driving their behaviours to extraordinary lengths. Theyll realize how their logical minds can circumvent some of those reactions and help them make decisions that benefit their long term goals. And I open their minds to the reality that we have strong effects on each other, infecting one another with our positive or negative vibes, leaving them with tools for effectively controlling their own mental states while wisely choosing those who surround them for their quality of character.

Now to be clear, Im just scratching the surface here. My aim isnt to bog anyone down and bore them with textbook minutia. Instead, I want to give a broad overview into our inner workings so young people have some perspective on the most common experiences theyll face when it comes to love. This is the book that teaches anyone stepping into the dating arena or who just wants to learn the basics about our natures for that matter that love isnt as complicated as its made out to be.

We are sophisticated machines built to adapt, withstand, and survive on this beautiful planet, and yet were also simple creatures by design. The laws of nature tie everything together in perfect cohesion until we stop analyzing our behaviours and allow a lack of education to lead us down paths which deviate from our natural selves.

I want people to understand that the rules of dating have changed lately, and not for the better. That the cultural notion of kissing to see where it goes scientifically runs counter to how wed normally choose a partner, and the subconscious scare tactics used today (No way will someone wait for a first kiss!) are not true.

In essence, I want to give everyone and anyone with an ounce of curiosity regarding how to get it right before getting it wrong exactly what they need going forward. Education, knowledge, and the confidence to apply what theyve learned and teach those they meet a whole new way of approaching love.

With understanding, compassion, patience, and a big dose of leadership.

Because somebodys got to be the hero.

And in todays world of spiking divorce rates and unhappy 40 something singles starting over and over again, I think it could be our youths.