Gloria J. Romero - Just Not That Likable: The Price All Women Pay for Gender Bias

Advance P raise for
Just Not That Likable

Women who break the glass ceiling can find themselves bloodied in the process. Being effective as a woman often means confronting stereotypes and likeability demands not made of men. As a trailblazer in policy and education, Dr. Romero has broken barriers and lived the consequences. Her book raises important questions for those of us working to ensure our daughters face more equitable paths to success and impact, paths that embrace their strength and temper the double standard we face. Caprice Young, Ed.D, National Superintendent, Lifelong Learning; Former Board of Education President, Los Angeles Unified School District; and Founding CEO, California Charter Schools A ssociation

Senator Romero exposes the persistence of gender inequity and workplace double standards still experienced by women. The book should be read as a call to action to state legislatures across the country to pass legislation mandating gender bias training, and stiffen penalties for those perpetuating impenetrable glass ceilings made of cement. As women are increasingly running for political offices and seeking entrance to leadership positions in both the private and public sectors, it is vital that we support these emerging women leaders. As the past Chair of the California Legislative Womens Caucus, I believe that we need to educate all girls with the understanding that these double-binds experienced by their grandmothers, mothers, and aunts will no longer be tolerated. Hon. California State Senator Conni e M. Leyva

Senator Gloria Romero served as Senate Democratic Majority Leader of the California State Senate, the first woman to serve in that office in the upper house. Dr. Romeros dynamic legislative leadership was precursor to women subsequently becoming President of the Senate and Speaker of the Assembly. She influenced all major policy decisions affecting education, social justice, and access to government. This book pays homageand is a tributeto all the strong women for whom she advocated to no longer suffer the indignities and discriminatory behaviors still disturbingly present in todays workplaces. Former President Pro Tempore of the California State Senate, Do n Perata

As an employment lawyer, I am shocked by the number of times a competent woman is told that she is too brash, too heavy-handed, or too demanding. Often, a man who exhibits the same characteristics is the one leveling these criticisms. And the employers rarely see it. Or if they do, they dont call it out. This book is another step towards bringing the necessary attention to these sexist double standards. David G. Greco, Attorne y, RMO LLP

Throughout my professional career, because I am a woman, I was challenged to be better, to be stronger, to be more focused than my male counterpart. To do that, I had to project decisiveness, empathy, intellect and persistence. If I was perceived as selfish, opinionated and domineering-I figured it was their problem of perception and I defined their own sexism, classism and racism of the preceptor. Interesting dialog would ensue! Gloria Romeros interpretation in this book vindicates my perception of myself. I am a warrior and I am OK with it. Emma Lechuga, Woman, Chicana, Educator, En trepreneur

An insightful, and well written book, that describes the obstacles and difficulties that women in leadership positions face when they strive to shatter gender and racial b arriers.

Gloria Romero has proven herself to be one of the most effective and passionate advocates for creating a stronger system for reporting and responding to sexual harassment and misconduct. This is a compelling and important book that provides a blueprint for a more inclusive future and serves as an inspiration for a new generation of public s ervants.

Hon. Joe Coto, Former California State Assemblymember and Chair Emeritus, of the California Latino Legislative Caucus; Superintendent of Schools in Oakland and San Jose

Hon. Judge Lucy Armendariz, Los Angeles Superior Court (She has agreed to submit a blurb but is getting this cleared through the Courts Ethics Division. It has not yet been cleared as of this deadline. If Ethics does not clear it, she can submit a quote as an individual, but am hoping it can be cleared to use the J udge title

Punam Grewal, Civil Rights Attorney--still awaiting her quote

A POST HILL PRESS BOOK

ISBN: 978-1-6 4293-980-4

ISBN (eBook): 978-1-6 4293-981-1

Just Not Tha t Likable:

The Price All Women Pay for G ender Bias

2021 by Gloria J. Romero

All Right s Reserved

Cover art by Cod y Corcoran

Although every effort has been made to ensure that the personal and professional advice present within this book is useful and appropriate, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any person, business, or organization choosing to employ the guidance offered in this book.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author and publisher.

Post Hill Press

New York Nashville

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Published in the United States of America

Special thanks to a new generation of young women willing, wanting, and able to call out gender bias and double standards when they see them. Thank you, Rachel Frankel and Jeslynn Mendoza, for helping me find the numerous research studies cited in this book. Thank you, Ramani Durvasula, for truly opening new doors for me to join other women in telling our stories. A special shout out to Post Hill Press. Youve put me in the expert hands of Debra Englander and Heather King, who I absolutely enjoyed working with. I will never forget that email you sent me saying, You are an author. Wowand what a story I had to tell! Thank you for taking a chance on me. Thank you, also, to the wonderful editors Allie Woodlee and Jill Ezren for your encouragement and thoughtful insights.

A big hug to dear friends, colleagues, and sisters: Punam Grewal, Maribel Medina, Juana Mora, Jill Stewart, Kaveri Subrahmanyam, Cher Mendoza, and Caprice Young, who not only were there for me from the start, but who also, I know, will be there for anyone who has the courage to runnot walklike a bull in a china shop through that labyrinth, swinging away at whatever glass ceilings portend to stand i n our way.

As we know, there are no magic ruby slippers or golden brick roads to help us navigate through treacherous labyrinths and smash through seemingly impenetrable glass ceilings to get us safely home. But those ceilings and walls will come crashing down as we tell our stories, file our briefs, and sue our way to justice. There are always others who come before us, and I express my deepest gratitude to them for starting to pave those roads, making it less lonely or less of a road-less-traveled because of their courage to start the walk. May Ann Hopkins, whom I never knew, rest in peace. Her life mattered for us all. Thank you, Ann Hopkins, for being so unlikable and changing history for every woman in this country who has the courage to not be afraid to speak up.

Finally, this book is for any woman who has ever been called bossy, mean, aggressive, or, quite frankly, just a bitch. As I once told my daughter, Soledad Ursua, all bitch means is that you stood up for yourself. More than anyone, this book is for her because she was the first one to encourage me to write it. Because of her, I refuse to wear pink on W ednesdays.