Kim Vogel Sawyer - Song of My Heart

Dalton, Indiana
Mid-May 1895

S adie Wagner let out a squeal of delight. A tufted titmouse shot from the budding bush nearby with an indignant flutter of gray-feathered wings. On an ordinary afternoon, Sadie would regret frightening away a bird that offered such an enchanting melody, but today she was too excited to pause for regret. Gathering her tattered calico skirts in one hand, she clutched the letter from her cousin Sid in the other and dashed for the house.

Bursting through the door, left open to allow in the sweet breath of spring, she cried, Mama! Mama!

Her younger sister, Effie, turned from the dry sink, a dripping cloth in her hand. Her brown eyes widened in concern. What is it, Sadie?

Sadie waved the letter. Good news! Come! Catching Effies wet hand, she tugged her sister through the doorway to Mama and Papas small bedroom. Their feet beat a staccato rhythm on the pine floorboards, matching the rapid tempo of Sadies pulse. She released Effie and fell on her knees beside Papas bed. As always, the sight of his drawn, pain-riddled face raised an ache in the center of her chest. But surely the opportunity presented in the letter would ease some of Papas burden.

Mama, seated on a chair beside Papas bed with a half-empty bowl of potato-and-onion soup in her hands, sent Sadie a troubled look. The lines of worry etched into Mamas brow had aged her. She set the bowl aside and touched Sadies heaving shoulder. Goodness, child, why are you in such a dither?

A gleeful giggle spilled from Sadies throat. She held out the letter, showing it to both of her parents. Look! From Sid. Remember he promised to write once he got settled in Kansas? Hes there now... all settled in... and She paused to catch her breath. The dash across the yard had winded her more than shed realized.

Effie danced in place, wringing her hands. What does he say, Sadie?

He says there is a job for me in Goldtree!

Mamas jaw dropped. Papa sucked in a sharp breath. Effie clapped both hands over her mouth and stared at Sadie with shocked eyes.

Sadies confused gaze bounced from one family member to another. Why did they appear distraught rather than elated? Didnt theylike shesee Sids letter as an answer to their prayers? For weeks theyd been asking God to provide a job for Sadie. She waited for someone to say something, but they sat in stunned silence.

Sadie released a huff of frustration. Didnt you hear what I said? A job! She flipped the letter around and smiled at her cousins scribbled text. As a clerk in Baxters Mercantile. Forshe squinted, trying to decipher Sids penmanshipsisters Melva and Shelva Baxter. She smiled at her mother. Honest work, Mama. Unlike the only jobs available in Dalton. With a fair wage.

Mama still didnt respond, so Sadie turned her attention to Papa. Sid says the owners wanted to employ a young woman since they are woman proprietors. Theyll provide me with a room and meals in addition to a monthly salary, so Ill be able to send nearly every penny back to you. She deliberately avoided mentioning the other part of Sids letterthe part that made her heart twist in eager desire. Pointing it out could seem selfish. God answered my prayers, dont you see? All of them...

Tears flooded Mamas eyes. She blinked them away and reached for the letter. But in Kansas, Sadie? Its so far away.

In her excitement, Sadie hadnt considered the distance. Her elation faltered. But then she squared her shoulders. It wont be forever. Only until Papa recovers from the accident and can work again. No matter what the doctor said, Papa would get better someday. She took Mamas hand and spoke softly, soothingly, the way shed comfort one of her little brothers if he awakened from a bad dream. Theres nothing here in Dalton, Mama. And somebody has to work....

Mama worried her lower lip between her teeth. Sympathy swelled in Sadies breast. Mama wanted so much to take care of everyonePapa, the children, the house. She knew Mama wanted to be the one to meet the needs of their large family. But cleaning housesthe only decent job available for a woman her agecouldnt bring in enough money. If both Mama and Sadie could do housecleaning, then perhaps thered be enough, but someone had to see to Papa and the younger children. This job in Kansas would solve all their problems, if only Mama and Papa would let her go.

Papa cleared his throat. He lifted a thin, vein-lined hand and plucked the letter from Mamas lap. Sadie-girl, you and Effie leave your mama an me alone. We need to talk this out.

Sadie started to ask to be included in the discussion, but Papas brown eyes, faded from their weeks of pain and worry, begged her not to argue. She wouldnt grieve the dear man. With a nod, she pushed to her feet. Of course, Papa. She gave his grizzled cheek a kiss, took up the discarded bowl and spoon, and ushered Effie back to the front room of the house.

Close the door, Mama called after them.

Effie clicked it closed, then whirled on Sadie. Whaddaya think theyll say? Will they let you go, do you think? Her whisper quavered with excitement.

Sadie moved to the dry sink and resumed the task Effie had abandoned. The wash water had turned cool during their time away, but only a few dishes remained. She chose not to waste their precious coal supply to heat more water. Scrubbing hard at Papas bowl, she replied, I dont see how they can refuse. Somebody has to provide for the family, and as the oldest, it makes sense for me to be the one.

Effies lips formed a pout. I could help, too, yknow. Im thirteen already.

You wont be thirteen for four more months, Sadie said, and youre still a schoolgirl.

But summers comin. Effie tossed her head, making her brown braids flop. Only two more weeks, an Ill be home all day. Least I could help during the summer.

Just what kind of job do you think youd find? Sadie hadnt meant to snap, but she couldnt encourage Effie to consider taking a job. Her sister wanted to grow up too fast. Childhood was preciousEffie shouldnt wish it away. Sadie softened her tone. Besides, youll have a job. Mama will need you here to help with the boys.

The four dark-haired stairstepsMatthew, Mark, Luke, and Johnhad always kept Mama hopping. Now that Papa lay confined to his bed, needing almost constant care, responsibility for the boys often fell to Sadie and Effie.

Effie sighed and scuffed to Sadies side. She picked up a length of toweling, but instead of drying dishes she swished the bleached cloth against her skirt. I get tired of doing housework an chasing our brothers. Effies tone picked up a hint of defiance. Sometimes I cant wait til Im all grown up an I can just do what I want to stead of cooking an cleaning an tending the boys.