Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.
Songs of Solomon 4:5
What happened between them was the clash of two hearts bent on getting what each wanted.
Irina wanted passion, art, adventure. Most of all, she wanted adventure. Her boyfriend, or, rather, her ex-boyfriend, wanted a comfortable life set against traditional family values. Hed said she was special, that hed been simply too normal for her. He shouldve known what he was getting into when he decided to date a redhead. This was months ago, but today Irina remembered that conversation well. Today was the day when everything had gotten much, much worse. Shed paid a visit to the hospital to check a small lump under her collarbone and had gotten the news of a lifetime: she had breast cancer.
Irina had been on her feet ever since, walking the streets of Budapest as if to stop meant to die.
The sun had already set by the time her tired feet had carried her to Margaret Island. She couldnt run from this forever. Irinas grandmother had died of breast cancer. It wasnt pretty. Theyd amputated both her breasts, then she died anyway. But her grandmother had been nearly seventy when she was diagnosed; Irina was barely twenty-three. Lifes a bitch, she thought, and then you die. It was a morbid disposition. What she really needed to do was to sit down and get her head in order.
Moonlight stretched across the Danube River, the full moon reflected in its waves. Runners conquered the islands perimeter, speeding along in segregated groups. The younger, less healthy-looking crowd contrasted them by occupying the benches on both sides of the runway, alcohol bottles in hand.
She headed past them and down to the water, planning to sit as close to the river as possible, when a mans voice made her stop.
Excuse me? the man said in English.
Irina turned around. He sat on a bench a dozen meters away from the teenagers. She couldnt see well in the dim light, but she found his features more hawkish than attractive, all angles and perpendiculars. His eyes were the color of faded cobalt, twinkling behind a pair of spectacles. Irina even noted the practical elegance of his haircut, a bit gray at the temples, before she realized the man was dressed as a monkey from the neck down. He wore a two color body jumpsuit of white-and-brown, complete with a tail hanging down from the bench. Either the circus was in town, or her kind of breast cancer came with hallucinations.
Irina closed her eyes slowly and then opened them again. She considered that maybe she needed to take her illness more seriously. The man in the monkey suit wasnt helping.
Yes? she said, also in English. It had been nearly four years since shed moved from Italy, but shed never really gotten the hang of the Hungarian. At least the monkey suit madmans intrusion on her brooding came in a language she understood.
Is everything all right, young lady?
Young lady? The man looked older than most of her peers on the arts faculty, true, but he couldnt have been a year older than thirty-five. Young lady, huh.
Why are you dressed like a monkey? she asked.
Thats a long story. He took out a piece of paper from the bag next to him and unfolded it on his knees. He then took out a shaving cream canister and unscrewed the bottom. Lumps of foil and some roll paper were hidden in the secret compartment inside. He unwrapped one of the lumps, dropping the green contents onto the paper.
Are you rolling a joint?
In answer, he stayed quiet as he rolled a long cigarette, packed tightly with marijuana.
Blue Skunk, he said. My brother grows it.
Irina wasnt a big smoker, but she appreciated a spliff now and again. On occasion, it helped her see things from a perspective she might have otherwise ignored; a good thing for her art. Whether it was good for anything else remained to be seen. Then she remembered shed just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Her life. Right.
And why would you want to tell that to a random stranger? she asked.
He smiled as he lit his joint. Probably because Im stoned.
Not very clever, this one, she thought. Right is that why you stopped me, to ask me if Im all right too? Or do you think I dont look all right?
You look gorgeous, he said.
Irina chuckled. The moment she thought her life couldnt possibly get any worse, she got hit on by a stoner dressed in a monkey outfit. Typical.
Thanks. Now, why are you wearing this?
Like Ive said, its hard to explain. He offered her the joint. She hesitated for a moment, then crossed the distance between them and took it from his fingers. My name is Victor.
She inhaled, held the smoke in her lungs, and felt a prickling sensation spread through her body as THC entered her system. It was strong. Im, Im Irina, she said between coughs, passing the joint back to him.
Do you believe in the unity of all things, Irina? Nikola Tesla once said that his brain was only a receiver for the knowledge, strength and inspiration sent to him from the core of the Universe.
Uh-huh. So thats why youre dressed like a monkey? Because Nikola Tesla made you do it? Irina bit her lip. If Victor was a genuine crazy, then she was playing with fire. He took three long puffs and passed.
Intriguingly enough, he continued, ignoring the question, a lot of people who participated in experiments with dimethyltryptamine during the psychedelic seventies said exactly the same thing.
Di-what?
Dimethyltryptamine. A psychedelic compound present in almost every living organism. To what purpose, we do not know. The Shamans of the South American jungles had been using DMT plants in their rituals for thousands of years. To give you an idea of what it does, if eating three grams of magic mushrooms sets you drifting on a little sailboat, then fifty micrograms of DMT blasts you into a different dimension on a space rocket. It shows you a world that makes you question what is possible what is real and what is important.
Bloody hell, Irina thought, hes crazy, all right. The best course of action was a speedy retreat. She had enough problems to deal with already. This is certainly very interesting, she said, trying to sound genuinely awed, but I think Id rather be on my way. Ive a lot of things on my mind. Please excuse me. It was nice meeting you. She gave him back his joint.
This is why, Victor said, as if she hadnt opened her mouth, I wear the monkey suit. Sometimes after a trip there, coming to the island and putting it on feels like the only sane thing to do. It reminds me that I, just like them, he nodded toward the teenagers to their right am a monkey man living in a monkey world. I sit here in this costume and think about all the things we can do to make it less monkey-like.
Like what? she asked. Messing with crazies. How could she resist?
Like putting an end to the consumer-producer mentality. Like separating money from the state the same way the church had to be separated from it before it had a chance to cause more damage. Like encouraging experiments with human awareness instead of banning natural substances because some giant pharma corp needs to make its next million selling something that doesnt work but comes in a nicer package. The list goes on.
Unless this is where you tell me youre actually a genius scientist doing secret research for the betterment of mankind, I am out of here.
He stood up from the bench and unzipped the monkey suit, the half-burnt joint in his mouth glowing at the tip. He wore protective leather pants and a motorcycle jacket underneath, both white. Red stripes ran along the jackets sleeves, matching the stripes on the pants. He packed the monkey suit into his bag.