Geoffrey Burch - Go It Alone: The Streetwise Secrets of Self Employment

Go It Alone

Go It Alone

The Streetwise Secrets of Self-Employment

GEOFF BURCH

This edition first published by Capstone Publishing Ltd (A Wiley Company)

Copyright 1997 Geoff Burch

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ISBN 9781841124704 (print); 9781119950059 (ebk); 9781119950066 (ebk); 9781119950073 (ebk)

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Typeset in 10/16pt Palatino by Servis Filmsetting Ltd, Manchester

Printed in the UK by TJ International Ltd, Padstow, Cornwall

To my best friend and wife, Sallie, who by waking me at 3 a.m. every day to tell me the book needed finishing, helped to get the job done. Also to all the Go-it-Aloners that I know, who not only inspired me, but have become my friends as well.

Introduction

Despite the fact that I am supposed to be some kind of corporate guru, I have always enjoyed spending a little time helping out with small-business start-up schemes. What prompted me to write this book was the experience of addressing the I want to do my own thing contingent of an outplacement scheme. The thinking behind such projects seems to be that, when all else fails and a proper job can't be found, you have to go off and start a business of your own.

There was a time when, if you got caught fiddling your dole or social security money, you could avoid further action by signing off. There was then an opportunity to go on the Enterprise Allowance scheme, which at the outset was a few quid a week, no questions asked, while you got the enterprise on its feet. This meant that I was confronted by a room full of those of the buccaneering spirit, to put it mildly. We would talk of selling oneself, the minimum red-tape requirement to prevent embarrassing prosecutions, and how to avoid converting all income into alcoholic beverages. You may feel that this was a recipe for disaster, but in fact they all did rather well in their own way, and it was my future delegates that have caused the most concern.

In recent years, it is the middle classes that have taken the hammering as regards jobs. As the bloody slaughter of middle management goes on, I now walk into an entirely different atmosphere. Instead of the nose rings, the creak of black leather, the abusive T-shirts, and pungent aroma of ganja and engine oil, I am now met by Prince of Wales check, shoes that shine like new conkers, a row of very sharp pencils, folded arms, and an atmosphere of hurt bewilderment. I ask each delegate in turn what brought them here, and what their plans are for the future.

I hope that this book is going to be a great adventure for you. Part of it will be based on the replies received from these poor unfortunates. We will examine what can be done to secure a rewarding future for them and us, but let's save the really juicy bits for later and just have a quick glance at what they say:

You, Frank .

Well, I was made redundant from my position of Resources Director for International Trip Wire Dot Com .

And your plans?

I plan to become a consultant .

George?

I plan to become a consultant .

Janet?

I plan to become a consultant .

Derek?

I plan to open a tea shop .

Don't tell me, I say, pinching the bridge of my nose in the style of all stage psychics I have ever seen, You are going to call it the Mad Hatter's Tea Shop .

A gasp of astonishment, How on earth did you know?

Oh, just a lucky guess, I suppose.

Lambs to the slaughter, doomed every one of them. But do you have to be doomed? Is there any hope? It's tirade time!

Professor Charles Handy writes some great books, and in a recent good guru guide, he was named as the philosophical champion of the damaged middle classes, but he says society must change. Well I agree, but it won't. It's like someone striding around the deck of the Titanic shouting, Ban all icebergs. These books are gentle, reassuring, and comforting, but empathy is not what is needed on that listing deck. Me, I would dress in feminine attire and shout Women and children first. In other words, if the circumstances won't change, then we must, and I intend to show you how to survive and survive well by hook or by crook.

Why Be Self-Employed?

When doing my outplacement guruing, I often encourage people to consider self-employment. This idea is often met with an enthusiasm that is tempered and even quashed by the fear of the unknown and of the obvious insecurity. I continue to encourage because, while I am familiar with the worry of not knowing where the next job is coming from and the feeling of doom when I consider my overdraft, I also know that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. To my pleasure, I saw one of my former delegates some 18 months on. She had pockets that bulged and overflowed with large-denomination banknotes, she drove a fabulous convertible Rolls Royce, and with her were two Chippendale-style companions who pandered to her every need.

So, it's going alright then? I asked her .

Oh yes, she grinned. She was a godsend I could use her as the example for anyone to be self-employed. It's clear why you are self-employed, I said, It's all that lovely money.

Nah, she replied, tossing a few handfuls of tenners casually into the air. I'm not interested in money.

That wonderful car then?

No, not bothered.

Then it's obvious, it's the adoring manservants .

Nope, I can take them or leave them .

Then why on earth are you self-employed? I asked .

Job security, she replied with a big cheesy grin .

Now that had really got me stumped. I believed I knew every conceivable benefit of self-employment, but job security has not exactly been top of the list. She went on to explain that all her working life she had been a faithful manager for a fizzy drinks company, getting up at six in the morning to be the first in, and being the last to go home. She told me that she would watch the lazy guy with whom she shared an office doing his lottery numbers, organizing the staff bowling team and generally wasting time.