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Michael P. Spradlin - Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime: A Book of Zombie Love Songs

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Every
ZOMBIE

Eats Somebody Sometime

A B OOK OF Z OMBIE L OVE Songs

Michael P. Spradlin

Illustrations by Jeff Weigel

For Kelly As Always CONTENTS Sung to the tune of Tears of a Clown by - photo 1

For Kelly. As Always.

CONTENTS

Sung to the tune of Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles Oh - photo 2

Sung to the tune of Tears of a Clown
by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

Now if theres some blood on my face,
Its only there when I bite the public,
But when it comes down to chewing you,
Now honey, thats quite a Zombie subject.
But dont let my blank expression
Give you the undead impressions.
Really Im dead, oh Im deader than dead.
Youre gone and Im hurtin so bad.
The dead cant pretend to be glad.

Chorus

Now theres some bad things known to man,
But aint too much badder than
A real Zombie clown, when hes chowin down.
Uh hum, oh yeah baby.

Now if I appear to be undead,

Its only to camouflage my sickness.
And honey to hide my slime I try
To cover this virus with a show of madness.
But dont let my fate convince you
That Ive been undead since you
Decided to go. Oh, Ill eat you so.
Im bit and I want you to know,
But for others I shuffle so slow, ooh yeah.

Repeat Chorus
Just like Romero did,
I try to keep the undead hid.
Lurching in the public eye
But in my lonely room I died.
Im a Zombie clown,
And Im chowin down, oh yeah, baby baby.
Now if theres some brains in this place,
Dont let my blank expression
Give you the undead impressions.
Dont let my smile at your fear
Make you think that I cant share.
When really Im dead
Oh Im really dead

Sung to the tune of Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles - photo 3

Sung to the tune of Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles - photo 4

Sung to the tune of Tracks of My Tears
by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

People say theres no life at our party,
Because I ate a brain or two.
Although I might be munching loud and hearty,
Deep inside Im goo.
Dont take a good look at my face,
Youll see my nose looks out of place.
If you come closer,
Ill chew off your face.
Youll scream in fear.
I eat you, eat you.
since you ran from me if you see me chowin down
On some random girl.
Although she may taste great,
Darlin dont hesitate,
Because Im comin after you too.
Dont take a good look at my face,
Youll see my nose it looks out of place.
If you look closer, youll see my disgrace.
Youll scream in fear.
Ill eat you, eat you.
Dont take a good look at my face,
Youll see my nose looks out of place.
If you come closer, Ill rip off your face.
Youll scream in fear.
I eat you, eat you.

Outside Im masticating,
Inside reanimating.
A Zombie clown, oh yeah,
Since you put me down.
Your brain is my makeup,
I wear since I tried to eat you.
Dont take a good look at my face,
Youll see my nose looks out of place.
If you come closer, Ill bite off your face.
Youll scream in fear.

Sung to the tune of Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime by Dean Martin Every - photo 5

Sung to the tune of Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime by Dean Martin Every - photo 6

Sung to the tune of Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime
by Dean Martin

Every Zombie eats somebody sometime,
Everybody turns Zombie somehow.
Something in your bite just told me,
My turning is now.

Every Zombie chews somebody someplace,
Theres no telling where they may appear.
omething in the air keeps spreadin',
The virus is here.

If I had enough sharp weapons
Id hack away at the Zombie swarms.
Then every single undead hour,
Every Zombie would be looking for his arms.

Every Zombie eats somebody sometime,
And though the virus was overdue,
Your brains made it well worth waiting,
For munching on you.

If I had enough sharp weapons
Id hack away at the Zombie swarms.
Then every single undead hour,
Every Zombie would be looking for his arms.

Every Zombie eats somebody sometime,
And though the virus was overdue,
Your brains made it well worth waiting,
For munching on you.

Sung to the tune of Youve Lost That Lovin Feeling by the Righteous Brothers - photo 7

Sung to the tune of Youve Lost That Lovin Feeling by the Righteous Brothers - photo 8

Sung to the tune of Youve Lost That Lovin Feeling
by the Righteous Brothers

You never chew on eyes anymore when the virus trips.
And your skins tenderest while it peels off in my fingertips.
Youre trying hard not to vomit (baby).
But baby, baby, youre rotting

Youve lost that livin feeling,
Whoa, that livin feeling,
Youve lost that livin feeling,
Now its gone gone moan woooooah.

Now theres an undead look in my eyes
when I reach for you.
And now youre starting to criticize all the things I chew.
It makes me just keep on trying (baby).
Cause baby, like me you are dying.

You lost that livin feeling,
Whoa, that livin feeling,
Youve lost that livin feeling,
Now its gone gone moan woooooah.

Baby, baby, I chow down on some knees for you.

If you would only bite me like I just bit you, yeah.

We found a brain a brain a brain you dont find every day.

So dont dont dont dont you run away.

Baby (baby), baby (baby),
I beg of you please please,
I need a brain (I need a brain),
I need a brain (I need a brain),
For a tasty snack (for a tasty snack),
For a tasty snack (for a tasty snack).

Virus took that livin feeling,
Whoa, that livin feeling,
We lost that livin feeling,
Cause its gone gone moan,
and I cant go on,
noooo

Bring back that livin feeling,
Whoa, that livin feeling,
Bring back that livin feeling,
Cause its gone gone

Sung to the tune of Can You Feel the Love Tonight by Elton John Why didnt we - photo 9

Sung to the tune of Can You Feel the Love Tonight by Elton John Why didnt we - photo 10

Sung to the tune of Can You Feel the Love Tonight
by Elton John

Why didnt we surrender, we should have run away,
When the tide of a zombie horde wasnt turned away.
An apocalyptic moment, were infected through and through,
Its enough for this walking cadaver to try and eat you too.

And can you find my thumb tonight?
It was here somewhere!
Ive been bit by this undead zombie,
Now my thumbs in your hair!

And can you find my thumb tonight?
Its a survival test.
This virus will turn kings and vagabonds,
Along with all the rest.

Theres a time for everyone if they only learn

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