Natasha Kogan - The Daring Females Guide to Ecstatic Living: 30 Dares for a More Gutsy and Fulfilling Life

The Daring Females Guide to Ecstatic Living

30 Dares for a More Gutsy and Fulfilling Life

Natasha Kogan

Copyright 2006 Natasha Kogan

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of the Publisher. Printed in the United States of America. For information address Hyperion, 77 West 66th Street, New York, New York 10023-6298.

ISBN 9781401384012

1. WomenPsychology. 2. Risk-taking (Psychology) 3. Self-realization in women. I. Title.

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First eBook Edition: APRIL 2007

For my mom and dad, who took on the biggest dare of their lives so that I could live in a place that gave me the freedom to take on my own. You are my heroes.

Contents

DARING FEMALE: A gutsy, passionate, and willful woman who isnt afraid to take risks, chase her dreams, explore new experiences, express her creativity, push her own boundaries, and speak her mind. (Oh, and she doesnt mind embarrassing herself once in a while and having a good laugh about it!)

(or Why I Wrote This Book)

A few years ago, I started a publishing company with my husband. We were young, knew absolutely nothing about publishing, and didnt have mountains (or even a good-size pile) of cash to start a business. But we had an idea for a book series, an obsessive love for books, and a lot of naivet, so we did it. As we struggled to get our publishing baby on its feet, a friend asked me if I was at all scared to do what we were doing. Scared of sinking our life savings into a start-up publishing business that had to compete with publishing giants from an office in our one-bedroom apartment? Nah!

Well, of course I was. I was scared to death, actually, of everything, from losing our savings (the down payment for a house we were hoping to buy soon) to failing to achieve our dream and everything in between. In a moment of weakness, I even wrote out the pros and cons of starting a publishing company, given our lack of knowledge, resources, and the Wow! How can I not be intimidated by this figure of 70,000 books published every year and just a few succeeding. There were more cons than pros.

I dared myself to do it anywayto chase my dream of starting my own company and to beat the odds. (I was lucky that my husband was a willing partner in crime.) I knew that I could always think of a hundred reasons why it would be too difficult to do or too impossible to accomplish. But what would I be left with if I didnt take this risk? A safe, stable life filled with regret, boredom, and endless woulda/coulda/shoulda. I couldnt think of anything scarier than that, so I dared myself not to be intimidated and to dive headfirst into the world of publishing.

I could write a whole book to tell you about our publishing successes, and a much longer one about our struggles and mistakes, some of which were so naive we now laugh about them. But thats almost irrelevant. What matters more than anything else is that every single day I am pursuing one of my life goalsto run my own companyand Im feeling more daring and gutsy than I ever have before. Is it a challenge? No doubt. Are there days when Im exhausted or frustrated and wonder how long we can keep this going? Definitely. Is it worth it? YES!

Starting a company was one of the most difficult things Ive ever done but to be honest with you, Im somewhat addicted to risks, creative challenges, life detours, and anything else that makes life more interesting. The moment I feel settled or sense that my life is flowing along smoothly, I dare myself to do somethingchange my routine, take a risk, or simply take on a new creative project. That first stepthe DAREis the ultra-important one we all need to take to get the greatest enjoyment, fulfillment, and excitement out of every part of our lives. To really live weve got to dare ourselves to DO thingschange our routines, take risks, explore new ideas, and experience as many different facets of life as possible. And what I like about a dare is its surprise and inevitability. As in Truth or Dare, the game many of us played as teenagers, we dont know exactly what each dare will be like or how it will turn out, but theres no going back once weve dared ourselves to do something. And ultimately, whether we succeed in each of our dares isnt really that important, because even failed attempts invigorate us, teach us something new, and most of all, make us feel like confident and gutsy Daring Females ready to take on the world.

When I was thinking about writing this book I jotted down some of the things Ive achieved in my life. Without fail, each one began as a dare to myself.

DARE 1: Too Old to Lose My Accent

When I was fourteen, my family emigrated from Russia to the United States. Talk about a shock! For a while there I didnt think that I was ever going to find my place in this new world, but I decided to at least try. My first order of business was learning to speak English better than I could after my few years of classes in Russia. I desperately wanted to sound like every other American teenagerSamantha on Whos the Boss? was my idol (laugh if you like). Everyone told me that I had started too late to lose my accent completely, but I didnt care: I wanted this so much that I dared myself to try and make it happen. I made an effort to speak only English, which drove my parents crazy, since they were just learning the language themselves. I spent most of my free time after school watching TV and imitating the sounds I heard, looked up hundreds of words in the dictionary, and wrote down and practiced the words that gave me the most trouble, often spending hours repeating them. I poured every ounce of energy I had into trying to learn to speak English like a real American. It took me yearsyears filled with countless embarrassing mistakesand many times I nearly lost hope, but if you heard me today, youd think that I sounded like a regular New Yorkerbut without a New York accent!

DARE 2: MBAs Only, Please!

After graduating from college, I went to work for a big-name consulting company in New York. According to numerous career counselors, this company was not a place where many grads from a small liberal arts school like Wesleyan had landed a job. But I wanted to get a taste of the business world and to do it from New York, so I dared myself to apply and compete with top grads from all across the country. I trembled between my interviews and had to go to the bathroom to catch my breath, but I managed to put my fears aside, and months later I moved to New York to join the firm.

DARE 3: Youre Giving Up THAT Job?

Several years later I realized that what I really wanted to do was work with small companies and maybe run one of my own someday. I was petrified about giving up my secure job and the nice paycheck and the perks that came with it. To top it off, my parents, friends, and colleagues all thought I was completely insane for leaving such a great job. But I woke up one morning and realized that if I didnt leave at that point, I might not ever leave and take the chance to go after what I really wanted out of life. I dared myself not to be intimidated and spent the next few years helping small businesses grow. Some of the companies I worked with made it, and being part of their success was exhilarating. Some of them failed and taught me many, often painful lessons. Despite the ups and downs, I was out there doing what I wanted, taking risks and living my life to the fullest, and nothing is more exhilarating than that.