Table of Contents
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
THERE IS NEVER a successful anything without the participation and contribution of people who unselfishly bring their unique abilities and perspectives to the process. I have been blessed with extraordinary people who not only encourage but have the unique ability to allow me to be myself.
My greatest concern is not listing everyone and giving each the proper credit so richly deserved. So I want to thank everybody who loves and cares for me for everything.
First and foremost, I thank God for the opportunity to do so many things I never thought possible. This book represents another one of those God moments in my life. I thank Him for the wonderful network of family and friends who continue to encourage me that I have something to say worth writing. Your importance to me has not diminished. You continue to push me, through your expectations, to greater things.
To my grandmother of ninety-six years, Leola Elizabeth Prince, I thank you for the decades of powerful prayer, perspective, and wisdom you have provided for me during the past fifty-seven years.
To my grandfather, the late Albert Q. Prince, who modeled what a man should be without reservation when I needed a caring and loving example.
Special thanks to my family, Lisa, Blair, Henrietta, Marva, Lori, and Deb, for your love and support. Daddy loves Blair.
To the David G. Evans Ministries team, Crystal, Lisa, Valerie, Yalonda, for pushing me to my first book four years ago; along with Jack, Gary, and Emmanuel, for your diligent support. Thank you! Here we go again.
To the young men I have mentored during the past eighteen years, Craig, Derek, Shaun, Terrell, Tre, and to their mothersDarlene, Crystal, Yolanda, Lisa, and Charlottefor trusting me to dare your sons to be men. The labor has not been in vain.
To Lois de la Haba, the super agent, for your guidance, patience, passion, and incomparable experience; thank you.
Special thanks to the Putnam family. Joel Fotinos, for your belief in my approach, ideas, and message, and that I can do this a couple more times. To Denise Silvestro, thank you for your patience, guidance, and strategic handling of the manuscript, along with my schedule and the challenges of the past year. I want to thank Meredith Giordan along with the rest of the Putnam team committed to the success of this project.
Of course I cant forget Adrienne Ingrum and Olivia (Silver) Cloud for all of their help and guidance.
This book is dedicated to my mother, Wilma Evans Robinson, a woman of extraordinary grace and demonstrated love. You had the difficult task of raising a man as a single mother. I thank God for giving you the job. Thank you for your wisdom, strength, and love. Thank you for believing there is nothing I cant accomplish and showing me by example that all things are truly possible if we believe.
Thank you for being my shield, fierce defender, adviser, cheerleader. I miss your face, your voice, your company, our time, sharing the events of my life, and the light that entered the room every time you arrived.
I thank God for the privilege of being your son.
INTRODUCTION
The Hidden Life of a Man
I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the harp. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and is a fine-looking man. And the
LORD is with him. 1 SAMUEL 16:18, NIV
DARE TO BE SUCH A MAN.
As a man, you may have some difficulty deciding who you really are or who you truly want to be. In the being process, you may imitate your personal hero or, amazingly, you may become the very man you despise. You may often appear to be one person with your friends, another with your coworkers, and yet another with your loved ones. Then you add to these complex behaviors the fact that you dont switch roles as well as you should, and like many men, you may be unable to make up your mind who you want to be.
The title man is full of expectations that quite often change with your varying social contexts. Definitions of acceptable masculinity have changed significantly, and amid evolving cultural and even religious expectations, it may be difficult for you to grasp a consistent definition of manhood. You may have become frustrated trying to model yourself after a changing prototype that invalidates the historic view of a man.
Today, the way a real man is supposed to look, act, and think is being defined using a feminine perception of manhood, partly because so many males are raised in female-headed households. We are bombarded with media portrayals of men who are either silent or so sensitive that they emulate women. (Such men often attempt to be a womans girlfriend rather than her man!) Men, we are suffering from an identity crisis!
The first step to becoming a man who dares is self-discovery. Until you discover who you were created to be, you cannot possibly know where you are going.
Reflection is often a very harsh reality. For years, the man I saw in my bathroom mirror didnt reflect an image of God, but rather a broken-hearted boy who had come home daily to a father who abused substances. My reflection had been shattered by all the negative, destructive behaviors that particular man, disconnected from his purpose, brought into the lives of all those around him.
Hurting people hurt people. Shattered men shape contorted images within boys, who become men living in clouds of confusion. While caring women like my mother often try to balance these negative influences, no mother can fix her son and no woman can fix her man.
But Gods hand was firmly behind my distorted image. Gods purpose and destiny for me would eventually overpower the confusion inherited from my fathers legacy. Ultimately, I have not been shaped by my broken, human father, but rather by my healing Heavenly Father.
For years I didnt know who I was supposed to be. In an arena as critical as identity, I was open to suggestions from a variety of sources. The problem was the suggestions were either from men who were secretly not sure of their own identity or from women whose suggestions were based on disappointment and failed relationships. I needed to figure out who I was.
There was no class addressing my issue but there was a blueprint. Much to my surprise, the Bible contained the information I neededancient truths about what is right, good, and wholesome concerning relationships, responsibility, fathers, and manhood.
Through my grandfather, Albert Prince, I saw the image of my Heavenly Father and heard a call to manhood. Because of him, the image I saw in the mirror reflected hope rather than hurt. I had been dared by His image through a mighty and valiant grandfather to be a man after Gods own image.