Zara Barrie - Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup: The Bad Girls Guide to Getting Your Sh*t Together

Advance Praise for
Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup

Zara has the rare talent of marching into the deepest, darkest moments of lifethe mascara-teared and alcohol-soakedscooping them up, and thrusting them into the light with amazing clarity, forgiveness, and compassion. As her editor at Elite Daily , I had the honor of watching Zara blossom into the emotionally raw and poetic writer she is now. Her gripping first-person narratives help every woman (including me) come to terms with her own demons or insecurities in a refreshingly comfortable way. Theres a reason shes built up an army of babes who are empowered by the words of their dear big sister, Z: Her candid honesty and no bullshit advice are simply addicting.

Faye Brennan, Sex & Relationships Director, Cosmopolitan

Reading Zara is like reading your own thoughtsonly sexier and much more brilliantly written.

Kaitlyn Cawley, former Editor-At-Large,
Bustle Media Group and former Editor-in-Chief, Elite Daily

Reading Zaras writing will make you feel like youre at your cool-as-hell big sisters sleepover party. You will be transfixed by her unflinching honesty and words of wisdom, and shell successfully convince you to not only ditch the shame you feel about the raw and messy parts of yourself, but to dare to see them as beautiful.

Alexia LaFata, Editor, New York Magazine

If Cat Marnell and F. Scott Fitzgerald had a literary baby it would be Zara Barrie. Shes got Marnells casual, dark, downright hilarious tone of an irreverent party girl. But then she also has Fitzgeralds talent for making words literally feel like they sparkle on the page. You instantly feel more glamorous after reading a page of Zaras writing, even when the page is talking about getting into a screaming match with her girlfriend outside of a bar on a Sarasota street corner while high on benzos. Ive always been a fan of Zaras writing but Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup takes it to the next level. With shimmery words that make her dark stories sparkle, she seamlessly manages to inspire even the most coked-out girl at the party to get her shit together.

Candice Jalili, Senior Sex & Dating Writer, Elite Daily

Self-help meets memoir. Party girl meets wise sage. Beauty meets reality. Zara Barrie is the cool older sister you wish you had. The one that lets you borrow her designer dresses and ripped up fishnets, buys you champagne (she loves you too much to let you drink beer), and colors your lips with bright pink lipstick. Shell take you to the coolest parties, and will stick by your side and she guides you through the glitter, pain, danger, laughter, and what it means to be a f*cked up girl in this f*cked up world (both of which are beautiful despite the darkness). Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup is for the girls that are too much of a beautiful contradiction to be contained. Zara is a gifted writerone second shell have you laughing over rich girls agonizing over which Birkin bag to buy, the next second shell shatter your heart in one sentence about losing ones innocence. Zara is the nuanced girl she writes forlight, irreverent, snarky, bitchy, funny; and aching, perceptive, deep, flawed, wise, poised, honestall at once. Perhaps the only thing that can match Zaras unparalleled wit and big sister advice is her candid humor and undeniable talent for the written word. Zara is one of the most prolific and entertaining honest voices on the internetand her talent is only multiplied in book form. Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup is for the bad girls, honey.

Dayna Troisi, Executive Editor, GO Magazine

Love this book! Zara Barrie has a wicked skill for spinning vulnerable, piercingly honest tales of sex, drugs, and transgression while poignantly leading her reader and herself towards hope and enlightenment. A book about GIRL Power in the age of anxiety that will resonate with todays women looking for something much more than just happy ever afterat least in the traditional sense. Read it to understand what dangerous girls with glittering eyes are thinking and feeling as they learn to conquer their demons and triumph.

KT Curran, Writer/Director of the internationally acclaimed,
award-winning SOURCE PRODUCTIONS

A POST HILL PRESS BOOK

Girl, Stop Passing Out in Your Makeup:

The Bad Girls Guide to Getting Your Sh*t Together

2020 by Zara Barrie

All Rights Reserved

ISBN: 978-1-64293-463-2

ISBN (eBook): 978-1-64293-464-9

Cover art by Cody Corcoran

Interior design and composition by Greg Johnson, Textbook Perfect

All people, locations, events, and situations are portrayed to the best of the authors memory. While all of the events described are true, many names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author and publisher.

Post Hill Press

New York Nashville

posthillpress.com

Published in the United States of America

For girls who live on Long Island
and listen to Lana Del Rey.
I get it.

Medical Disclaimer: Im not a doctor, dont sue me.

Being young was her thing, and she was the best at it. But every year, more and more girls came out of nowhere and tried to steal her thing. One of these days Im gong to have to get a new thing, she thought to herselfbut as quietly as she could, because she knew that if anyone caught her thinking this thought, her thing would be right over right then.

B.J. Novak , One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories

Contents

Song: Grigio Girls
by Lady Gaga

I have a confession to make: I couldnt care less if you fall asleep in your makeup from time to time. Just last night I passed out with a full face of foundation, blush, highlighter, bronzer, mascara, eyeshadow, and liquid eyeliner. What can I say? I went to a karaoke bar in midtown and sang my heart out to all of my favorite 90s girls: Alanis Morissette, Janet Jackson, Liz Phair, Lisa Loeb, Sheryl Crow, Whitney Houston, and TLC. After an impossibly long, arduous week involving extreme family drama and a vicious fight with my best friend, mixed in with the typical day-to-day New York City traumas, it felt good to blow off some steam. It felt good to slug back a hefty pour of whiskey. It felt good to slap pizza into my mouth at two oclock in the morning. It felt good to puff on my CBD pen in bed, with my dog snuggled up on the pillow over my head and my new weighted blanket thrown over my body, soothing my exhausted limbs and easing my underlying anxiety.

Girl, wash your face. I coached myself. Youll regret it in the morning. But I was so warm and cozy and content in the safe confines of my bed. The last thing in the world I felt like doing was disrupting the first moment of peace Id experienced in weeks by subjecting myself to the nuisance of harsh tap water and soap splashing across my face. Also, if youre a girl like me, a girl who really piles on the mascara, then you most definitely understand that removing your makeup is a processto say the very least. It takes far more than the delicate dab of a Neutrogena makeup wipe when your lashes are two thousand layers deep in inky-black goo. It takes oils, and cold-creams, and triple-cleansing sessions, and the soiling of pristine white towels (that will forever be mascara-stained no matter how many times you soak them in bleach).