David Bramwell - Fetish

Copyright 2007 by Quid Publishing

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available on file

ISBN: 978-1-62087-798-2

Neither the publisher nor the author is engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader, and neither shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book. Anyone participating in the activities that this book discusses or suggests assumes responsibility for his or her own actions and safety, and for compliance with all applicable laws. If you have any health problems or medical conditions, or any other concerns about whether you are able to participate in any of these activities, you should take appropriate precautions. The information contained in this book cannot replace professional advice, or sound judgment and good decision making.

S PECIAL THANKS TO H ANNAH

C ONTENTS

I NTRODUCTION

Today we live in a frantic-paced world that is rapidly dispensing with age-old customs and formalities. Why write letters, visit bookstores, or bother cooking a meal when all can be achieved with the click of a mouse or simple phone call? Thanks, perhaps, to the sexual revolution of the sixties, we have even been liberated from many of the rituals of courtship in favor of promiscuity and free love. But is sex really any better in the 21st century, or is it just more readily available? We feel an itch and we scratch it. But, like grabbing a burger on the go to quell hunger, is it really all that satisfying?

To the outsider looking in, the fetish scene can seem risible, intimidating, degrading, and even dangerous. After all, why would anyone in their right mind dress in clothes that made it hard to walk, subject themselves to a painful flogging, put their partner on a leash, or degrade themselves by licking a strangers boots? Isnt the fetish scene just some ridiculous freak show?

And, of course, in many ways it is. But to dismiss fetishism as a gimmick or fashion is to totally miss the point; it is in fact a new and evolving erotic language. It exists outside of the everyday world of TV, junk food, piped elevator music, celebrity gossip, the intrusion of cell phones, and all that deadens our senses.

To question why a masochist likes to be beaten is to ask why a mountaineer likes to climb. Isnt it the experience of life many of us are seeking?

Whether through intense sadomasochistic play or scaling a mountain, its the challenge, endurance, and sheer exhilaration of feeling alive that draws people in. And one of the many attractions of the fetish scene is that by subverting gender roles, blurring the distinction between pain and pleasure, turning violence into expressions of love, tenderness, and devotion, it transcends the duality of everyday life and allows us, for a time at least, to be someone entirely different. For others, like the destitute painter driven by passion to continue with his art despite hardship and failure, fetishism is simply a desire within that refuses to be ignored.

I SNT THE FETISH SCENE JUST SOME RIDICULOUS FREAK SHOW FOR MISFITS?

Make your own rulesignore the stereotypes and choose your own costumes and props

But of course the only way to truly understand the fetish world is through participation. And while sadomasochism, bondage, and discipline are intrinsic to the scene, it doesnt mean youve got to be hog-tied and beaten half to death to appreciate its value. In fact, the only really essential elements to fetish play are that it be consensual and safe. Beyond this the rules are your own: the costumes and clothes, whatever turns you on, the roles are entirely of your own devising. For some its simply a means of bringing drama to the bedroom, for others its a way of life. And, while certainly not precluding promiscuity and good old-fashioned intercourse, fetish role-play does demand pomp and ceremony, etiquette, diligence, and atmosphere. It isnt just about bringing ritual back into sex, but sexualizing ritual itself.

By attempting to classify fetishes, this book is trying to achieve the impossible: there are as many categories of fetishes as there are kinky people. Not only that, but the fetish scene is constantly evolving by drawing from culture. It isnt inconceivable that ten years from now Nike sneakers, lycra biking shorts, and furry Simpsons costumes may well be part of a fetishists wardrobe.

But, while acknowledging the books limitation, its hoped that in the following pages the reader will find a wealth of information and advice that clarifies and celebrates a scene where the only limitations to what now constitutes eroticism, sensuality, and pleasure in the 21st century is the imagination.

FETISH PART ONE

WHAT IS FETISHISM

WHAT IS FETISHISM?

T he word fetish derives from the Portuguese feitio , meaning false power. It was first used in the 15th century by European colonialists to describe the objects, charms, and dolls used as talismans by many of the African tribes they encountered.