Amy Spencer - Bright Side Up: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now

100 WAYS
TO BE HAPPIER
RIGHT NOW
AMY SPENCER
A Perigee Book

A PERIGEE BOOK
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Copyright 2012 by Amy Spencer
Text design by Tiffany Estreicher

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First edition: February 2012

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

Spencer, Amy, 1971
Bright side up: 100 ways to be happier right now / Amy Spencer.
p.cm.
EISBN: 9781101559949
1. Positive psychology. 2. Optimism. 3. Happiness. I. Title.
BF204.6.S74 2011
158.1dc23

2011036237

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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To my family
Mom, Dad, and Liz
for being the huggy,
supportive kind.

What Does It Mean to See Bright Side Up?

A friend of mine performed a card trick for a group of us after dinner. It was one of those Pick your card, Ill shuffle them, and Oh, look, here it is, impossibly faceup in the middle of the deck! He did the trick three times in a row and I still, for the life of me, couldnt see the solution. He being a close friend and me not wanting that slice of cheesecake much anyway, he taught me his secret: All it really involved was a quick flip of his fingers in the first cut of the deck and a good dose of performance from there. Really, Ive thought since, its like life: Like a magician practices his sleight of hand, we have the power to practice our sleight of mind. Like the card that appeared faceup in my friends deck, we can all master turning the bright side faceup in our lives.

Seeing bright side up is just that: a way to look at life that makes it easier than ever to see the secret, to find the good. The way a magician can lead you to look at his hands from a different angle, we can look at our lives in a fresh way, turning mountains into molehills, our fury into calm, our irritation into gratification, and our anger lines into laughs.

Do you know those optical illusions that show two images at the same time? You instantly see one image right away, but its a bit of a challenge to see the other: Is it a duck or a rabbit? Is it a couple kissing or a vase? Is it an assortment of black blocks or a word in white? Well, its both. Just like life. There is always both. There is no right or wrong way to see something but there are different ways.

Of course, we all have unique experiences in life, and some people struggle through much harder times than others. In my dimmer downtimes, Ive been fired from jobs, rejected from others. Ive done physical therapy, worn crutches and casts, had three broken bones and a big broken heart. Ive had deaths in my family, deaths of my friends, and I sobbed myself into another state of being over the death of my cat. Ive lost money, lost friends, lost faith; Ive been robbed of my belongings and robbed of my dignity. Ive been banged up on a bike and run down by a truck, had car accidents and miscarriages. Like many New Yorkers, I saw my city bombed and burned from the roof of my building and have watched my country struggle to stand tall again ever since. And now, each and every day, I work to keep my marriage strong, the paychecks coming, my friendships fed, the bills paid.

Some days, life makes it easy for us. The sun shines, the work flows, the roads open, the love dotes, and the day unfolds before us like a red carpet. On days like that, its easy to feel optimistic, right? The positivity flows like wine and were tipsy with happiness. And then sometimes well. Sometimes we hit barriers of bills, traffic, arguments, and tears. These are the days you need your optimism more than ever, when youre stuck in a rough moment and smiling is the last thing on your mind. This book is for those times. When your car battery dies, your child breaks a tooth, your flight gets canceled, and your relationship fails, seeing your situation from a new angle can change your experience for the better.

We now know, based on studies in optimism and happiness as well as recent developments in neuroscience and positive psychology, that while we cant always change what happens to us, we can change how we see and feel about what happens to us. And this is huge. Because it means that you dont have to completely change your life to be happieryou just need to change how youseeyour life to be happier.

And seeing your life half full doesnt just shape your state of mind. Research shows if youre optimistic, youre likely to live longer, have lower blood pressure, less chance of heart disease, a stronger immune system, and you tend to endure pain better. If youre an optimistic athlete, you win more games; if youre an optimistic politician, you win more elections; if youre an optimistic salesperson, you sell more products. And career optimism can lead to more job offers, faster promotions, and higher salaries as optimists are more likely to take risks, problem solve, and adapt to get the job done. And all of this stems from the idea that its not necessarily what happens to you but how you see what happens to you that makes the difference. It is your perspective that changes what you experience and how happy you feel.

Every day has a blue sky, remember. Even the gray ones. You just cant always see the sun above the clouds. But if you could get a new perspective if you could get inside a plane that passes through the clouds well, theres your blue sky and sunny day that was there all along. The entries in this book are seats on that airplane, the other side of that optical illusion, and a new perspective for when you need it most. Read them from cover to cover, or just dip into the book every now and then for a quick pick-me-up or when you need a dose of emergency optimism during a tough day.