Rebecca Apsan - Lessons in Lingerie: Finding Your Perfect Shade of Seduction

FINDING YOUR PERFECT SHADE of SEDUCTION

Rebecca Apsan with Sarah Stark

PHOTOGRAPHS BY JILL WACHTER
ILLUSTRATIONS BY BUNKY HURTER

Workman Publishing New York

To the little flirt in every woman

Copyright 2006, 2012 by Rebecca Apsan
Photographs copyright 2006, 2012 by Jill Wachter
Illustrations copyright 2006, 2012 by Bunky Hurter

Credits appearing on constitute a continuation of the copyright page.

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproducedmechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopyingwithout written permission of the publisher. Published simultaneously inCanada by Thomas Allen & Son Limited.

Originally published in 2006 as The Lingerie Handbook, now updated with a new preface

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication information is available.

eISBN 9780761175018

Cover design: Raquel Jaramillo
Cover photograph copyright 2010 Lise Charmel Lingerie

Workman books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fund-raising or educational use. Special editions also can be created to specification. For details, contact the Special Sales Director at the address below, or send an email to specialmarkets@workman.com.

WORKMAN PUBLISHING COMPANY, INC.
225 Varick Street
New York, NY 10014-4381
workman.com
thelittleflirt.com
Workman is a registered trademark of Workman Publishing Co., Inc.

PREFACE
THE NEW SHADES OF SEDUCTION
Dressing for the Boudoir

INTRODUCTION
STOP WEARING UNDERWEAR!
A Manifesto for Change

ITS WHATS INSIDE THAT COUNTS
Getting to Know Your Inner Flirt

BREAST INTERESTS
Bras

BRIEF ENCOUNTERS
Panties

SLIP INTO SLEEP
Slips & Sleepwear

WHAT LIES BENEATH
Shapewear

SHOW SOME LEG
Stockings & Pantyhose & Tights, Oh My!

DRESSING TO UNDRESS
Tips for Women (and for Men)

LONG LIVE LINGERIE
Care and Upkeep

LINGERIE RECOVERY
A Program for Change

PREFACE
THE NEW SHADES OF SEDUCTION
Dressing for the Boudoir

A thirty-four-year-old schoolteacher dresses for a night out with her husband. Its their anniversary, three years. She tucks a charcoal gray silk shell into a fitted black pencil skirt. Around her neck, she wears a beaded choker made of glistening Austrian crystal with a single strand that cuts vertically across her dcolletage and disappears into her blouse. But this is no ordinary necklace.

Its actually a harness. A harness that runs the length of her torso to her waist, where it meets a lacy black garter belt and matching thong. She smoothes on a pair of sheer stockings and carefully clips them to her garters before turning to the nightstand where she has arranged her supporting cast for the evening: a stingray paddle, a sleek leather whip, and a pair of soft, feathered handcuffs.

Sounds far-fetched, right? And yet... consider this: An Orthodox Jewish woman who appears to be in her early forties comes into my store. She wears a wig in observance of tzniut, a set of religious rules that relate to modesty and show her status as a married woman. She is completely covered, even in the height of summer. Assuming shes looking for a basic bra consultation, I ask if she needs any assistance. She points to the row of masks in the display case.

I cant help myself. Are you reading Fifty Shades of Grey?

How did you know? she asks. Minutes later, she leaves with a mask, a pair of leather wrist cuffs, and a dangerous black lace lingerie set, waist cincher and all.

A few years ago, several of the designers I buy from started to come out with masksamazingly intricate, ornate pieces, followed soon after by wrist cuffs, paddles, and collars. I started to notice a growing number of customers leaving my shop with little black bags full of peek-a-boo bras, bejeweled harnesses, and crotchless panties. Sixty-year-old women in cardigans and khakis were prancing out with cupless bustiers and nipple tassels.

Carve out curves with corsetry.

Designers drew inspiration from the underworld of bondage long before Fifty Shades came on the scene, so my store was already full of these instruments of intrigue when the world discovered Christian and Anastasia. But once the books came out, the wear-if-you-dare pieces started to fly off the shelves. I couldnt keep the corsets, ticklers, and tassels in stock. And its not just mewhen hardware stores began reporting that they were mysteriously selling out of natural filament rope, it became clear that the book had inspired legions of curious, if not downright bold, fans.

Women are welcoming kink into their bedrooms and experimenting with bondage and sexy accessories because, to put it plainly, its hot. Its naughty, its erotic, its exciting.

Weve become so serious and virtuous, with our organic this and that, our East-meets-West, our juicing cleanses, and our overbooked calendars. We dutifully work on our relationships like theyre our second jobs, wondering why things arent quite as lustful as they used to be. Its high time we mixed it up and had a little fun.

Thats whats so great about lingerieit gives you permission to experiment with who you want to be behind closed doors. All you really need is the missing ingredient between sugar and everything nice. And frankly, Ive never met a woman who didnt have her fair share of that.

When I wrote the first edition of this book, I was already preaching the philosophy of dressing to undressin fact, I dedicated a whole chapter to the topic (see ). I believe that what we wear under our clothes has a profound effect on how we look and feel, whether or not our silky underpinnings have an audience. So while the main focus of this book is on how to invest in well-fitting foundational garments that not only feel great but also improve the fit of your clothes, I still say that a showstopping first layer can change a womans universe. Theres a coquette inside of each of us, and coaxing her out to play is what I do every day with the women who come to my shop.

If youre new to the idea of dressing for the boudoir, you may be wondering why you would need special, sexy attire when it will inevitably be stripped off and tossed aside. But how much money do we spend on clothing that makes us look great while were working out or sitting in our cubicles? Why not invest in a few pieces that make us look and feel smoking hot in our most intimate and vulnerable moments? And no, sexy lingerie isnt just for models; a strategic ruffle or seam can draw attention to your best assets and conceal any problem areas. Its all about a bit of expert tailoring.

Think of it as the new power suit for the bedroom. Heres to dressing for success.