Ryan Michler - The Masculinity Manifesto: How a Man Establishes Influence, Credibility and Authority

The Masculinity Manifesto

How a Man Establishes Influence, Credibility, and Authority

Ryan Michler

To my beautiful wife, Tricia, my three incredible sons, and my lovely daughter. I will never lose focus and I will never jeopardize my priorities. You are the reason for my work and the fuel for the words found in this book.

I n 2015, I started a fledgling little podcast called Order of Man. Since then, that podcast has been downloaded more than forty-five million times, has grown its reach across various social media platforms to more than a million followers, and I cant even count how many men have messaged us with sincere gratitude for the work weve been doing over the past seven years.

But truth be told, I didnt set out to reach millions of men across the world. I didnt set out to record more than nine hundred episodes as of 2021, over four hundred of them with some of the most influential men on the planet: Tim Tebow, Terry Crews, Matthew McConaughey, Jocko Willink, Dave Ramsey, David Goggins, Ben Shapiro, Andy Frisella, Tim Kennedy, Dan Crenshaw, and so many others.

No, I started it with much different, more selfish intentions. I simply wanted to learn how to become a more capable man. Period, end of story (or so I thought). There were men I followed whom I wanted to learn from. But as a relative nobody, very few of those men would give me the time of day, let alone offer me any sort of personalized one-on-one coaching.

At the time, I already had a podcast called Wealth Anatomy. It was something I began in order to pick up new clients in my relatively successful financial planning practice. But if Im being honest, I was getting tired of talking with my clients about money. I would look down at my phone when a client called and dread answering it. I really enjoyed the relationships I had with my clients, but I was done talking about investments, insurance, and retirement planning.

I figured that since I enjoyed the medium of podcasting (although I was ready for a different type of conversation), maybe I could convince some of the men who inspired me to join me in recording a brief conversation. That way, I would get personalized coaching, and they would get access to my nonexistent audience (sounds like quite the deal, right?).

Well, it worked. And, since youre reading a copy of this book, you might have benefited from that humble little podcast that started in 2015.

That said, not a day goes by that I dont feel like Im the greatest recipient of the work my team and I do here. Each day, I get to talk with some of the most successful men out there; work closely with the thousands of men who are currently in or have gone through our programs, courses, and events; and interact with you and the rest of the men who are inspired and edified by the work were doing to reclaim and restore masculinity.

Over the past seven years, Ive learned a lot about what it means to be a man. But that sentiment seems to escape a lot of people in modern times. Frequently, I meet anonymous strangers on the interwebs who seem to believe that any man who has to learn to be a man is no man at all.

That isnt true. Not even close. If youre talking about being male, sure, but a man, no. Where being a male is a matter of birthright, being a man is earned. Ive spent countless hours talking with others, researching, unpacking, and working toward becoming more of a man myself. Through my work, Ive discovered some incredibly powerful concepts regarding masculinity and manliness that modern culture generally rejects.

And thats exactly what youre going to find within the pages of this book. Were going to explore what masculinity is, what it means to be a man, what men do, and the path to fulfillment for men.

Now, inevitably, when I dare attempt to describe masculinity and what it means to be a man, Im often met with comments like, What makes you qualified to tell others what it means to be a man? The simple answer is this: I have a willingness and desire to do so. Thats it. Im on the path. Ive never once asserted that I know more than any other man or that I am the epitome of masculinity.

In fact, Im still very inadequate in many ways. And, not too long ago, youd hardly even recognize me. Thirteen years ago, I was a shell of the man that I am today. My wife had just left me with our one-year-old son, my financial planning practice was struggling (I was very close to throwing in the towel), and I weighed fifty pounds more than I do today. I was brokementally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It was, without a doubt, the darkest time in my life. Slowly and gradually, I began to pull myself out of the pit of despair I had personally dug. I built a band of brothers, I hired mentors, I listened to every self-help CD and read every self-help book I could get my hands on. Things began to change, and the trajectory I put myself on is what led me to this work.

I dont share this with you to beat my chest. I look around and hear from men who are not only hurting mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually (as I was) but struggling at the core with who they are as men, and I cant help but feel an immense sense of obligation to share what Ive been blessed to learn.

Through my work, Ive been able to pull back the curtain, so to speak, to see not only what makes men tick but what attributes, skills, and characteristics lead them down a path of satisfaction and fulfillment. And isnt that what were all after?

Id contend that we, as men, are not after happiness, as so many claim. After all, happiness, to me, represents a state of ignorant bliss free from headache, heartache, and hardship.

No, that isnt what were after. We want to feel useful, productive, and valuable, or what I describe as fulfilled. And fulfillment does not come from the absence of challenge and adversity (happiness), but from the ability to overcome it effectively. In fact, fulfillment can come from some of the most trying times weve ever faced.

In 2017, I wrote a book titled Sovereignty: The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men. In it, I asserted that in order for a man to be fulfilled, he must first learn to lead himself well. In that book, I articulated the path men need to follow to reclaim their lives and take control of their own destinies. At the time, I saw too many men relinquishing autonomy and control over their lives to their wives or girlfriends, children, employers, and government. While I would still agree that the first step to fulfillment is realizing and harnessing the power a man has over his own life, I now see that it is only part of the process.

The next evolution is to learn how to take your newly earned sovereignty and turn it outward so that you can effectively lead others well. We, after all, are designed biologically, not societally, to lead (more on that later). Imagine with me, for a minute, a life in which you, as a man, have the confidence youve dreamed of. Your wife looks at you with adoration in her eyes. Your children cling to your words and example. They ask for your advice, follow your direction, and live their lives in your footsteps before feeling empowered to create their own. Your employees are honored to work with you and consider it a privilege to learn from you. Your neighbors and acquaintances turn to you for guidance, direction, and assistance. You are loved and valued inside the walls of your home and business and within the borders of your neighborhood and community.