Scott Palmer - The 5 money personalities: speaking the same love and money language

The Money
Personalities

2013 Scott and Bethany Palmer

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Thomas Nelson, Inc. titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fund-raising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Palmer, Scott, 1971

The 5 money personalities : speaking the same love and money language / Scott and Bethany Palmer.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-8499-6478-7 (trade paper)

1. CouplesFinance, Personal. 2. Finance, Personal. 3. Financial security. 4. Finance, PersonalReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Palmer, Bethany, 1965II. Title. III. Title: Five money personalities.

HG179.P1887 2013

332.0240086'56dc23

2012040164

Printed in the United States of America

13 14 15 16 17 QG 5 4 3 2 1

To our sons, Cole and Cade:
We love you both.

Contents

Chapter 6: Opposites Attract

Chapter 11: Begin with the E.N.D.

Chapter 13: How to Fight Fair

W e are so thankful for the amazing people God has put into our lives to make this newest book a reality! Thank you to the best sons parents could ever ask for, Cole and Cade. Your flexibility, encouragement, and ability to jump on a plane at any time to spread our message of hope are a gift to us.

Thank you to both of our parents, who have done nothing but support us. Thank you, too, for your examples of hard work and long, strong marriages.

Dan Merrell and John Thompson from Propeller have been a huge blessing. Their input with the brand and direction of The Money Couple has been invaluable. You guys are amazing to work with, and we would not be here without your guidance.

Thank you to Matt Baugher and the amazing team at Thomas Nelson. Thank you for believing in our message and our passion for making marriages better.

Carla Barnhill continues not only to be a great friend, but also her ability to write and shape our message has been such a great blessing over the past five years.

We are also so thankful to the couples who have opened up their Money Relationships to us. They have let us guide, direct, and learn from them.

New Life Church in Colorado Springs has been an incredible support to us along this journey. Thank you, Pastor Brady Boyd, for your friendship and faith in us.

Our goal is to change relationships for the better and make marriages awesome. Praise be to God for all that He can accomplish!

I have always been an athlete. Scott? Not so much. So early in our marriage, when Scott came home one day and told me he was going to run a marathon, I tried really hard not to laugh out loud. Scott had never run a mile, much less 26.2 of them. As I sat there in silent shock, he explained that hed found a training program online that would have him trained and ready in ninety days. I was still convinced there was no way he could do this.

That spring, Scott ran the Los Angeles Marathon. Sometimes he still wears his medal around the house. Scotts determination showed me that its possible to make major changes in your life in just ninety days.

Then something else happened in our lives that convinced us amazing things can happen in just ninety days. In 2008, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer. I had gone in for a routine mammogram and didnt think twice about it. About a week later, we were on vacation and I got a message to call my doctor. I called her back and she said, Are you sitting down? Thats never what you want to hear from your doctor. Thats when she told me I had breast cancer.

We let the news sink in as best we could. Because we didnt know all the details of my diagnosis, we decided not to tell our boys about the cancer just yet. We decided to finish out our vacation and deal with this life-changing news when we got home.

We met with the oncologist, and I tried not to lose my mind with the worry, the fear, and the questions that raced around in my head. My treatment path was clearId take a medication that was developed to fight the kind of cancer I had and then go through chemotherapy. We prepared ourselves for the long road ahead and all that it would involve.

Chemo does a number on your body. It kills everything badthe cancerbut it also kills everything good. And in some ways, chemo killed off not just the cancer but also my spirit. I was as low as a person can get.

But then I started to see a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I had ninety days of chemo ahead of me. I thought, If I can just get through the next ninety days, I can beat this. And with the help and support from my wonderful family, friends, and Scott, and the strength I found in God, I got better. Our friends and family carried us during those ninety days, and we made it through the roughest time in our marriage.

Those ninety days changed our lives. And your life can change in ninety days too. As you work through this book, you will see a transformation in your relationship. After ninety days of doing something, it becomes more than a habit; it becomes a lifestyle. We believe you can take a marriage thats struggling, a relationship thats riddled with financial infidelity and mistrust, and turn it around. We believe you can adopt a lifestyle where arguments about money are a thing of the past, a lifestyle where you make decisions out of mutual love and respect.

When Scott was running his marathon, he got to mile 24 and just stopped. He was mentally and emotionally spent. Suddenly a man came running up alongside him and took him by the arm. This man, a total stranger, started talking to Scott, asking him questions about his life, and telling Scott about himself. Before they knew it, theyd reached the finish line.

The journey toward a strong Money Relationship can feel like a long haul, but if you are committed to linking arms and finishing this journey together, you can make it happen. By picking up this book, you have made the decision to strengthen your relationship and dream about the future. It wont happen overnight, and it wont happen without both of you deciding you want to start fresh and build a great life together. But it can happen. Weve seen it over and over again. You can make it happen!

For more information and details about Bethanys journey, go to TheMoneyCouple.com.

The Big Picture

Before you jump in, we want to be clear about something: this book is not a guide to managing your money. You wont find tricks for creating a balanced budget or tips on saving money. We arent going to teach you how to find the best investments or how to reduce your mortgage. There are plenty of books out there that do all of that and more.

This book is about you and your marriage. Its about the way your money and your relationship combine to create a Money Relationship. Thats rightyou and your spouse have a Money Relationship, just like you have an emotional relationship, a spiritual relationship, and a physical relationship.