Stephen Kendrick - The Love Dare

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The Love Dare

Copyright 2008 by Stephen Kendrick & Alex Kendrick

All Rights Reserved

ISBN: 978-0-8054-4885-6

B & H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

www.BHPublishingGroup.com

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Other versions used include: Holman Christian Standard Bible Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. New International Version Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. New King James Version, Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Dewey Decimal Classification: 242.64

Love \ Marriage \ Devotional Literature

RECEIVE THIS AS A WARNING.

THIS FORTY DAY JOURNEY CANNOT

BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.

IT IS A CHALLENGING AND OFTEN

DIFFICULT PROCESS, BUT AN INCREDIBLY

FULFILLING ONE. TO TAKE THIS DARE

REQUIRES A RESOLUTE MIND AND A

STEADFAST DETERMINATION.

IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE SAMPLED OR BRIEFLY

TESTED, AND THOSE WHO QUIT EARLY WILL

FORFEIT THE GREATEST BENEFITS. IF YOU

WILL COMMIT TO A DAY AT A TIME FOR FORTY

DAYS, THE RESULTS COULD CHANGE YOUR

LIFE AND YOUR MARRIAGE.

CONSIDER IT A DARE, FROM OTHERS,

WHO HAVE DONE IT BEFORE YOU.

THE SCRIPTURES SAY that God designed and created marriage as a good thing. It is a beautiful, priceless gift. He uses marriage to help us eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this, marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner. If we are teachable, we will learn to do the one thing that is most important in marriageto love. This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally. It is wonderful. It is difficult. It is life changing.

This book is about love. Its about learning and daring to live a life filled with loving relationships. And this journey begins with the person who is closest to you: your spouse. May God bless you as you begin this adventure.

But be sure of this: it will take courage. If you accept this dare, you must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that the heart is more deceitful than all else (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment.

We dare you to think differentlychoosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships.

The Love Dare journey is not a process of trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be. Youve no doubt already discovered that efforts to change your husband or wife have ended in failure and frustration. Rather, this is a journey of exploring and demonstrating genuine love, even when your desire is dry and your motives are low. The truth is, love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better.

Each day of this journey will contain three very important elements:

First, a unique aspect of love will be discussed. Read each of these carefully and be open to a new understanding of what it means to genuinely love someone.

Second, you will be given a specific dare to do for your spouse. Some will be easy and some very challenging. But take each dare seriously, and be creative and courageous enough to attempt it. Dont be discouraged if outside situations prevent you from accomplishing a specific dare. Just pick back up as soon as you can and proceed with the journey.

Last, you will be given journal space to log what you are learning and doing and how your spouse is responding. It is important that you take advantage of this space to capture what is happening to both you and your mate along the way. These notes will record your progress and should become priceless to you in the future.

Remember, you have the responsibility to protect and guide your heart. Dont give up and dont get discouraged. Resolve to lead your heart and to make it through to the end. Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.

NOW THESE THREE REMAIN: FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE

1 Corinthians 13:13

IF I SPEAK WITH THE TONGUES OF MEN AND

OF ANGELS, BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE, I HAVE

BECOME A NOISY GONG OR A CLANGING CYMBAL.

IF I HAVE THE GIFT OF PROPHECY,

AND KNOW ALL MYSTERIES AND ALL

KNOWLEDGE; AND IF I HAVE ALL FAITH,

SO AS TO REMOVE MOUNTAINS,

BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE, I AM NOTHING.

AND IF I GIVE ALL MY POSSESSIONS TO

FEED THE POOR, AND IF I SURRENDER MY

BODY TO BE BURNED, BUT DO NOT HAVE LOVE,

IT PROFITS ME NOTHING.

1 CORINTHIANS 13:13

Table of Contents

DAY 1

Love is patient

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Love works. It is lifes most powerful motivator and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems. We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love changes our motivation for living. Relationships become meaningful with it. No marriage is successful without it.

Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes. And thats where your dare will begin. With patience.

Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.

No one likes to be around an impatient person. It causes you to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. The irony of anger toward a wrongful action is that it spawns new wrongs of its own. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks. More than biting your lip, more than clapping a hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.

If your spouse offends you, do you quickly retaliate, or do you stay under control? Do you find that anger is your emotional default when treated unfairly? If so, you are spreading poison rather than medicine.