Eric Smith - The Geeks Guide to Dating

Copyright 2013 by Quirk Productions, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2012953989
eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-661-1
Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-59474-643-7

Hardcover designed by Katie Hatz
Illustrated by Kickpixel
Hardcover production management by John J. McGurk

Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com

v3.1

For Miguel Bolivar, Patrick Cassidy, Dario Plazas, Tim Quirino, and Michaelangelo Ilagan. For all those many days and nights filled with nothing but

StarCraft

Diablo

Halo

Goldeneye

Magic: the Gathering

Pokmon

Lord of the Rings

Call of Duty

Futurama

Final Fantasy XI

Reading GamePro

Gears of War

Star Wars and Star Trek

World of Warcraft

all while talking about girls. This, my friends, is for you.

layer One, I dont want to lie to you. Not at the very beginning of this book, nor at the middle, nor the end of it for that matter. This isnt Portal , and Im not going to tease you with promises of cake. Within this playfully illustrated, reference-laden tome lies a true challenge. An epic quest that will lead you through the perilous, occasionally disaster-filled world of modern dating. Its a world as dangerous as Ceti Alpha V, confusing as Crisis on Infinite Earths , and challenging as the Special Zone levels in Super Mario World .

Dating has changed. The art of writing long, heartfelt I like like you letters has been replaced by the hookup sext message. Thanks to Google and Facebook, the blind date doesnt really exist anymore. Longing flirtatious stares are going by the wayside, as people become more comfortable with sending an ellipsis in a chat window. And with online dating becoming the new normal, concepts like courtship and chivalry have started to feel somewhat dated.

There have been days that I, much like the aging gamer who clings to his original Game Boy with its fading screen, have yearned for simpler times. For the days of old when one could hop into a chat room on America Online, type in A/S/L? , and immediately find a soul mate. For a time before Facebook poking and direct messaging on Twitter, when getting your crush to notice you required talking face-to-face, or at least passing them a note along the lines of Do you like me? Circle Yes or No.

As a lovesick kid, I always tossed a Maybe in there, just to spice things up a bit.

So how do you date in a world where people, to some extent, dont really date anymore? Where they become close virtually rather than in person, via texts instead of over dinner? Where a phone call to say how youd really love to see them tonight, or a long pause before asking someone to come upstairs, is replaced with a text that says sup? ;-)

By embracing traditional rules, and staying old-fashioned in a modern world. Or, better yet, updating those traditions for the modern age.

Technology and the gadgets weve been blessed with have certainly made life easier and taken us in the direction of making all of Gene Roddenberrys wildest dreams come true. But as much as modern tech and the Internet have made the world feel a little smaller, theyve also managed to push us apart. You dont need to look all that far for proof.

I mean, theres an app called FaceTime just for face time.

As a kid, I projected myself into video games (as I once described in detail in the online literary journal BygoneBureau.com). When playing an RPG, I always renamed the characters when given the option. In Chrono Trigger , I was always Crono. His best friend, Lucca, was renamed Darlene, after a girl whos been my closest friend since I was 8 years old. Robo, Frog, Ayla, and Magus have been given an array of names over the yearsalways for the people closest to me. And Cronos love interest, Marle? I named her after various crushes and, later, different girlfriends. During a play-through on my iPhone, as I renamed Marle after my current sweetheart, it hit me: this nearly two-decade-old RPG about time travel has been with me through all of my romantic relationships. And its taught me valuable lessons about being brave (Crono goes after and saves the girl), learning to accept yourself (Robo is accused of malfunctioning, of being broken), not giving up on love (Robo doesnt find his match until after he transcends time), and moving on from the past (Frog recovering from the disgrace of letting down Queen Leene).

Technology, games, fantasy worlds, superheroic characters I love them all. Im a still-sometimes-awkward 30-year-old man who owns a Master Chief suit and plays Chrono Trigger on his iPhone, and Im okay with that. Because I use technology as a tool, not a crutch.

See, theres a reason why we geeks always read the book, graphic novel, or comic series before seeing the movie. Why we acknowledge the original series before checking out the reboot. Why we take the time to play with Magic: The Gathering cards and Warhammer 40,000 figurines before trying out the various video game adaptations. Honoring tradition, understanding the way things originally wereand whymakes embracing modern ideas even better. The same principle applies whether were talking about remakes of Battlestar Galactica or about meeting that special someone. In this book, well explore the lessons embedded in the pixels and codes and equations and datastreams of the geek canon. Old-school lessons about love and relationships, honor and allure, heartbreak and loss. Lessons that have stood the test of time (and time travel).