Carrie Tucker - I Love Geeks: The Official Handbook

THE OFFICIAL HANDBOOK

CARRIE TUCKER

Copyright 2009 by Carrie Tucker.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are
made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, an F+W Media Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN-10: 1-60550-023-2

ISBN-13: 978-1-60550-023-2

eISBN: 978-1-44052-069-3

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their product are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Interior illustrations by Daniel Tero.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

CONTENTS

Introduction

CHAPTER 1
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
The Evolution of Geeks

CHAPTER 2
Can I just finish this level?
Video Game Geeks

CHAPTER 3
This is not a kids book, okay?
Comic Book and Graphic Novel Geeks

CHAPTER 4
I am not an otaku.
Manga and Anime Geeks

CHAPTER 5
Good relations with Wookies I have.
Film and Television Geeks

CHAPTER 6
I cant tonight; Im meeting with my fantasy league.
Sports Geeks

CHAPTER 7
To quote Isaac Asimov, I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander.
Science Fiction and Fantasy Geeks

EPILOGUE
No one will really be free until nerd persecution ends.
Gilbert, Revenge of the Nerds

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Id like to thank my boyfriend, Steve Hahnel, for inspiration and for allowing me to hog the Netflix; Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna, for getting this whole thing started and without whom this never would have happened; Dr. and Mrs. Tucker for always encouraging me, even when it seemed impractical and logic-defying; and my agent, Holly Root, for believingwithout her this really never would have happened.

Thanks to everyone who contributed, helped out, or allowed me to ask numerous annoying questions: Jessicka and Christian Addams, Miguel Banuelos, Rachel Bigler and The Anime Blog, Elisa Collacott and Watching Doctor Who, Jonathan Coulton, Keith Cunningham, Stacey Frost and Iz McAuliffe from ComicRacks, Ken Hahn, Kevin Jolly, Jennifer Kashdan, Kristin, Julie, Dr. Randall Osborne, Diana Perry, Jason Pettigrew, Joe Price, Raph Soohoo, Kerry Shapleigh, Cailin and Eric Stamile, Sara, Anne Wirtz, and Sunny Zobel.

Extra-special-super-happy thanks to friends who went above and beyond: Jimmy Aquino and Comic News Insider, Christina Guerin for patiently reading, Piney Kahn, Cat Kinney, and Brendan Mobert.

I Love Geeks is dedicated to the late Gary Gygax (19382008), creator of Dungeons & Dragons, an inspiration to geeks and nerds everywhere.

WHAT TYPE OF GEEK IS YOUR GUY?

1. You met your man via:

a. Jdate, of course. Your mother would be so proud!

b. The WoW message board. Not like he had much time to chat.

c. When you had to call geek patrol because your stupid computer crashed or something.

d. Nerdpassions.com You were charmed by his passionate debate on whos the best superhero: Gambit or Supes (um, Superman).

e. A Halloween party. He was the shy wallflower dressed as an elf.

2. Its Sunday, and beautiful outside. The sun is shining, theres anice breeze. Your man wants to:

a. Take you on a bike ride or spend the day with Bill Simmons

b. Get on Halo immediately to finish what he started the night before

c. Revert the USB kernel extensions on his Mac so he can get his iPod synched up again

d. Watch the entire Spider-Man trilogy for the fifth time

e. Plan his outfit for AnimeCon

3. Your computer keeps telling you 192.158.1.100 in use by00:16:6f:3d:e8:f1, DHCP Server 192.168.1.1 and wont let youopen Word. You:

a. Call the Geek Squad

b. Try to look it up online, you know the value of Google.

c. Call your man, who says, Re-boot.

d. Call your man, who mutters something about 2001 and HAL.

e. Call your man, who says, Look it up online.

4. His favorite movie is:

a. Anything directed by Takashi Miike

b. Tron

c. The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

d. Batman Begins

e. Akira

5. His favorite author is:

a. James Joyce

b. John Carmack

c. Bjarne Stroustrup

d. J.R.R. Tolkien

e. Osamu Tezuka

6. Your man knows who the following are (select all that apply):

a. Tim Tebow

b. Will Wright

c. Linus Torvalds

d. Arthur C. Clarke

e. Son Goku

7. How long is he on the computer for, not counting work, each day?

a. less than one hour

b. 5-7 hours

c. 8 hours or more

d. 1-2 hours

e. 3-4 hours

8. Who does your man think would win in a fight?

a. Farmer Ted or Brian Ralph (as in puke) Johnson

b. Kratos or Ares

c. C++ or Linux

d. Mothra or Rodan

e. Light or L

9. Has your man ever waited in line longer than an hour for any ofthe following?

a. An iPhone

b. The brand new Xbox 360

c. A new hard drive

d. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

e. The X-Files panel at Comic-Con

10. Your man has participated in the following sports:

a. Baseball

b. Table Tennis, bowling, golf.all on the Wii

c. Online chess. What, its totally a sport!

d. Squeezing one of those mushy balls when hes stressed

e. Firing ping-pong balls from his SD Gundams Vulcan cannon

11. Can your man read, write, or spell in any non-traditional language?(Klingon, Elvish, l33t, etc.)

a. What the hell?

b. Yes

12. Dinner time! What usually happens?

a. Already ate a Manwich.

b. No time, not hungry, must finish level, grab me a Mountain Dew?

c. I run on my own fuel.

d. Grunt: Nachos.

e. Grunt: Pizza.

Scoring:

Mostly As: Hes sorta nerdy, maybe an undercover nerd. Probably likes sports a lot and feels it helps integrate him into mainstream society more, although hes never picked up a football in his life. You might laugh when you see him bellow, Run the ball! because it seems so out of sorts with his un-ironic My Mom Thinks Im Cute t-shirt and glasses.

Mostly Bs: His life is ruled by how many video game accomplishments he can rack up on Xbox360, or how many game hours he can log in a week. Regularly conducts marathon gaming sessions that start at 8 p.m. and end at... 8 a.m. THE NEXT DAY.