Table of Contents
Praise forThe Whole Lesbian Sex Book
Newmans sex guide for lesbians is superb. Why cant more heterosexual sex manuals be this good?
Library Journal
Intelligent, sexy, humorous and emotionally savvy. The lesbian sex information youve always wanted but could never find.
Staci Haines, author of The Survivors Guide to Sex
A classic.
Patrick Califia, The Advocate
The most complete, all-questions-answered, savvy guide to lesbian sex. Keep it next to the bed.
Good Vibrations
Urban and diverse in topic, this new guide is a cool drink of water in a drought of good sex info for dykes. This book gives tips, toys and tidings youll wonder how you lived without.
Toys in Babeland
The most awesome aspect of this instant sex guide classic is the inclusion of every possible woman in every possible situation. From the pierced blood-playing hard core dyke to the longtime monogamous lesbian lovers who want to bring hot sex back into their lives to the average fabulous American gal just looking for a few ideas to satisfy herself, Felice Newman speaks to us all. Getting off is good, and this book will help you get off better.
Bust
Kinky people may consider themselves past needing sex manuals, but anyone involved in a sexual relationship with a woman, be they male or female, would be well advised to study this book carefully.
Skin Two
Desire, fantasy, every twist and turn of the erotic imaginationits all here
Planet Out
Up-to-date, inclusive, and hot.
Sexuality.org
The most thorough and up-to-date lesbian sex guide around. Dont buy Newmans book expecting a clone of the genteel Joy of Lesbian Sex. The author describes everything in delicious and explicit detail
LesbiaNation
Felice Newman has her latex-covered finger on the clit of Lesbian Nation.
San Francisco Bay Guardian
To Constance
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to my panel of more than 450 experts (nearly half new to this edition) the respondents to my questionnaires without whom this book would not have been possible. Writing from the United States, Canada, Panama, United Kingdom, Sweden, Finland, France, Germany, South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand, they generously shared their experiences, insights, and desires.
I was fortunate to receive the help of many individuals and organizations who answered questions, provided review copies of books and videos, publicized my research, shared the results of their own research, read drafts of chapters, and offered their guidance: Paula Love, Patrick Califia, Jeanne Marrazzo of LesbianSTD.com, Heather Shaw and Christophe Pettus of Blowfish, Kayla Strassfeld of Good Vibrations, Cory Silverberg of Come as You Are, Janet Hardy of Greenery Press, Betsy Kalin, John Jameson of The Advocate, and Janet Lever. Many thanks to Karen Quigg and Scott Idleman for design, to Fish for illustrations, and to Mark Rhynsburger for editing.
I am grateful to Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle, Joseph Kramer, Patrick Califia, Tristan Taormino, Carol Queen, Cathy Winks, Anne Semans, and Staci Haines. Their work lit my path. I have benefited from the guidance of great teachersamong them Richard Heckler, Mark Mooney, and Staci Haines of the Strozzi Institute.
I am thankful to my coworkers at Cleis Press, Chris Fox and Diane Levinson, whose hard work freed me to write this book. I have worked with Cleis Press copublisher Frdrique Delacoste for 25 years. Her high standards for publishing queer books for intelligent readers have made Cleis Press what it is todayI am grateful to have her as my editor.
Finally, my deepest gratitude to my wife, Constance Clare-Newman, to whom this book is dedicated.
Preface to the Second Edition
SINCE PUBLICATION OF THE WHOLE LESBIAN SEX BOOK, I have heard from many, many women. Ive received emails from sapphic novices (I was able to feel confident when I was making love to my very first girlfriend) and seasoned leatherdykes (Hey, I may have been out and in the BDSM scene, too, for ten years now, but I still use your book as a valuable reference and as a sorta dyke bible). Ive heard lovely stories of sexual awakening (My partner came out last year, beautifully and skillfully at the age of 61!) and sexual adventuring (I once told my girlfriend I wanted to try a threesome, so she talked about it to a really good friend of ours, and one day).
All of the women I heard from were grateful to have a sex guide written just for usand packed with information and suggestions, and, as one woman wrote, inspiration, affirmation, and illumination.
And they werent shy with requests for more, eithermore research, more information, more topics covered, and more support and encouragement in their sexual aspirations for themselves and their partners.
Many of them participated in my new research. In January 2004, I posted notices on Internet bulletin boards and email discussion lists inviting lesbian, bisexual, and queer women to participate in a new survey on sex and partnership. Nearly two thousand women requested my explicit, lengthy questionnaire.
Research on lesbians and sexual partnership usually focuses on how often we have sex, what activities we engage in, and how personal issues like childhood trauma, sexual assault, and homophobia play out in our adult relationships.
This edition of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book offers a new way to look at our sexual partnerships. We know we have sex and that we hold dear a longer list of sexual proclivities than could ever fit on a survey formthis book offers proof of that. And we know that harm done to usincluding the all-pervasive homophobia so many of us live with nowchallenges our sense of ourselves as vital sexual beings.
Really, we dont need a research grant to figure that out. What we want to know is this:
How can we, as lesbian, bisexual, and queer women, create sexual relationships that really excite us and enliven us, and maintain sexual energy and heat over the long haul?
This updated second edition answers that question with guidance and practical suggestions based on the experiences of the more than 200 women who completed my questionnaire. Their commitment to sexually fulfilling relationships is truly inspiring.
The most important thing is this: You can have great partnered sex. Whether you have one partner or several, you can have ongoing, intimate sexual connections that expand and deepen over time.
Whats new in this edition? Along with the new chapter on sex and partnership, there is much thats new. Youll find specific information on facing and healing triggers from sexual trauma, and achieving sexual pleasure even during depression (and what to do about the sexual side effects of SSRIs). Perimenopause and menopause, Tantra and orgasm, herbal supplements to support libido, sexual partnering during gender transition (with quotes from partners of both FTMs and MTFs), and sexual health (including gynecological care for butches)its all here. Plus new sex toys, Internet pay porn for us, all new illustrations, and a completely updated bibliography, videography, and resource section.
