Marcus Brotherton - Buzz. A Graphic Reality Check for Teens Dealing With Drugs and Alcohol

Theres this really ugly problem with no easy answer. It just wont go away. So what are you going to do about it?

for a problem that hits you from a million different directions. This is something you really have to think about, really dig into, really grab a scalpel and dissect, so that you can find the answer that works.

You start with that ugly amphibian that stares you in the face every day.

Five absolute lies: ONE. When you get a BUZZ, it wont make you cooler. Lie! Truth is, getting a BUZZ makes you the duke of cool. TWO. When you get a BUZZ, you wont have a good time. Lie! Truth is, with a BUZZ, youre dancing on top of the table. THREE. When you get a BUZZ, it wont dull your pain. Lie! Truth is, getting a BUZZ makes you forget all the hurt youre going through. FOUR. Big companies are socially conscious and dont want you to get a BUZZ at your age. Lie! What are all those funsy, outdoor, extreme-action commercials all about? What are all those candy-flavored vodkas with cool people at parties all about? The earlier you start to get a BUZZ, the sooner youll be a life-long customer, spending money on their stuff. So drink up, smoke up, shoot up, snort upas early as you can, nothing makes us happier, man. FIVE. When you get BUZZed, and later repent of it, you wont have a great testimony. Lie! Youll have a great testimony. Everybody knows you need to really wallow in sin first before you get your life right with God. With a couple of really good BUZZ stories under your belt, youll hold em captive round the old summer-camp fireside. Youll be the absolute poster child for getting your life squared away with Christ.

LIES. LIES. LIES. LIES. LIES.

HANK HASBEEN , the Maverick Renegade Troublemaker, who graduated sixteen years ago and still hangs out at your high school, presents:

Listen up pencilnecks. Are you cool? I mean, really really cool? To see if you are or not, take the following quiz. Grab a pen and answer yes or no:

1. Yes/No I get drunk every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night.

2. Yes/No I lie about how much alcohol I use.

3. Yes/No Beer is necessary to have fun.

4. Yes/No I have frequent hangovers.

5. Yes/No I smoked pot today.

6. Yes/No I frequently forget what I did while drinking.

7. Yes/No Last Thursday while drunk I slapped a cop.

8. Yes/No I sleep in my own vomit.

9. Yes/No I give booze to my cat.

10. Yes/No Ive had fake ID since I was 13.

Whats it like to get a BUZZ? A little BUZZed? Even absolutely BUZZed? I mean like BUZZed off your butt? What will I see? What will I feel? What does it taste like? What does it smell like? How does it feel when you hold it in your lungs? Will I get high the first time? What if I eat a big meal first? Will I get ADDICTED? Will I feel relaxed, even silly? Or sexy, grown-up, cool? Will I lose my balance? Will I still be able to drive? What will I remember afterward? Will I get paranoid? Will I get the munchies? Where will I get it? Who will I do it with? Is everybody doing this? Who will find out? What will my friends think? What if I PUKE? What if I pass out? What if I stand on a table and make a fool out of myself? Can I still be on the swim team? How long will it stay in my system? Will this keep me out of college? Will I be in on some sort of inside joke? Is this legal? Will I get ARRESTED? Will I want to do harder stuff? Will I need to steal stuff to get my fix? Will my body be damaged? Will I get liver disease? HIV? Will I die? Will JESUS FORGIVE ME? Whats it like? Whats it like? Whats it like? Whats it like?

Hows it going? Youre looking good today. Been working out? Lost weight? New shirt? Theres something Ive been meaning to talk to you about. Let me roll down my window. Nothing to be scared of. This is just between you and me. Check this out. Up there, through the leaves. Everyones eating them. All the cool people, that is. Not interested? Dont chicken out. Its all good. Whats the matter, anyway? Did your mama tell you that you couldnt? Would she really stop you from doing something that would help you? Everybodys doing it. You dont want to feel left out, do you? Here, hold it in your hand. It looks good doesnt it.