Thinking Horndog - The Elegant Solution

Posted: February 01, 2009 - 08:27:21 pm

Lon Carpenter laid back in his lounger, sipping his canned soda, "ThankGod for summer vacation!"

"No kidding!" Rick Flanders sat up in his beach chair to pick his drinkup from the patio table. "I couldnt wait!" Summer was finally here,ending the boys' junior year in high school. In the fall, theyd beseniors, but for now, they were at loose ends

"Only one problem," Toby Tolliver grunted, dabbing sunscreen on his nosedespite the fact that he was hiding under the tables umbrella, "Nogirls."

Rick grunted, watching the waves lap the side of his familys swimmingpool. "Yeah, well, its not like you were getting any!"

"Yeah," Toby shot back, exasperated, "And at this rate, I WONT, either,all summer!"

Lon leaned up and pushed his lank blond hair out of his eyes, "Dude, youwouldnt be getting anything from that bunch at school, anyway. Theyremore concerned at this point about whether their sweaters arefashionable than the bumps underneath them that WE want to touch!Besides, they dont know squat about how to please a man and itll be awhile before it becomes important to most of 'em"

Rick eyed his friend, scratching his head, his thick, curly,medium-brown locks rippling, "So, what are you saying, Man?"

Lon swept his gaze over his friends, smiling. "Look, girls our age aregreat display pieces. They look greatbut they dont know shit, andtheyre not in their prime, sexuallywhereas WE are!"

"Yeah" Toby eyed his more athletic friend (not to mention big man oncampus) sidelong. "So what are we SUPPOSED to be hunting?"

"Women in their mid-thirties," Lon replied, smiling as he tilted up hiscan for another self-satisfied sip.

Toby rolled his eyes. "Like THATs gonna happen! Girls our age are toughenough! Where are we gonna find older women who will pay any attentionto us? Heck, where are we gonna find older women, period!"

Lon shrugged. "Theyre around. Close in, even. Ricks mama, for instanceshes hot"

Fifteen feet away, Jean Flanders froze, her hands in the sink. Shedbeen doing dishes, listening with amusement to the testosterone-firedangst of the three young men through the kitchen window. Lons comment,however, floored her!

Outside, Rick rolled his eyes. "Okay, theres some justice in thatbut the problem is right there in what you said, Man! Shes my mom!"

Lon shrugged. "Shes not MY momand shes not Tobys, either!"

Of all the gall! Jean fumed. 'I can NOT believe hes coming out withthat '

"So what am I supposed to do, in the unlikely event that you couldsleaze your way into my mothers panties?" Rick wanted to know.

Lon had an answer, though. "Do mine, of course!" he laughed.

"Are you serious, Man?" Rick eyed his friend like he had two heads.

"Completely," Lon replied. "In the last year, Mamas been dating youngerand younger dudesHell, at this point, her dates can barely get intobars and buy liquor! Three or four more years wont mean much to herespecially when she realizes that there is an increase in performance tobe had!"

Rick snorted laughter. Toby shook his head, smiling. The shit Lon cameout with There WAS some truth to it, thoughtheyd all seen theyoung guys that Lons mother Candace had been stalking lately.

Jean, now actively eavesdropping, thought, Wait until Candace hearsTHIS! Of course, Lon was rightbut that wouldnt keep Candace frombeing embarrassed. Maybe she would wake up and fly right when Jeanrubbed her nose in what her own son thought of her amorous adventures

Lon sat up and assumed a serious expression. "Dudes, Im not kidding,here! We have our own little pool of mature, womanly charms, ripe forthe taking! I propose we make a pact: Each of us looks the other waywhile the other two put the moves on his mother!"

"Youre shitting me, right?" Rick gasped.

"Uh uh. Think about itits not a cold contact thing; each of ourmothers knows the other two guys, so were not chasing down some MILF inthe supermarket and trying to hit her up while discussing how ripe themelons are" Lon argued.

Toby looked downcast. "That might work for you two guys, but I dont seewhere I have anything to offer. Ma is"

"Porky?" Lon grinned to take the sting out while Tobys eyes flashed."Shes not THAT big, Manand she has the biggest hooters in thegroup!"

"So," Toby eyed Lon sidelong, "Youd do her?"

"Lookin' forward to it," Lon grinned, swilling down another sip of soda.Lowering the can, he flicked a glance at Rick. "Youd do her, right?"

"Yeah," Rick agreed. Tobys mother Beth was short, chunky, and kind ofmatronlybut she DID have big hooters. In fact, when you looked ather as someone to stick your dick into (something Rick hadnt reallydone, to this point), she had three or four other things going for her;she was sweet-faced, had big, full lipsand a good-sized ass wasntALWAYS a bad thing. And there was something indefinable about herpersonalitysomething passive

Toby stared myopically at his eyeglasses while he wiped a smear ofsuntan oil off the right lens, thinking, then announced, "Well, itspossible, I guessalthough she hasnt been out since Dad left her"Suddenly, he assumed a furtive expression, glancing around, "Hey, thisis, like, privileged info, but" He glanced around again. "Mas got avibrator and a couple of dildosand shes noisy when she uses 'em.Ive jacked off a BUNCH of times to the sound of her working it out"

"Holy shit!" Rick exclaimed. "What a picture THAT brings to mind!"

Lon snorted laughter. "See? Ripe for the picking!"

Jean shook her head, embarrassed for her friend. The boys were 'WAY overthe line, here She couldnt believe that Lon was leading them off onthis crazy fantasyor that her own son, Rick, was making noises likehe was serious about participating!

Lon turned to Rick. "So. My mama is chasing young dick, anyway, andTobys is suffering from lackanookie and can probably be brought downthat leaves yours"

Rick shrugged. "Well, Ive got no big secrets to air about Moms sexlife. Shes shy. Shes been out a couple of times since Dad died, but asfar as I can tell, nothing happened. I CERTAINLY cant tell you whathappens to her in the bathtub, or whatever"

Lon shrugged. "Okay, so, do you think shes shut the thing off?"

Rick shrugged. "Probably."

Lon sighed. "Thats a sin and a shame, Manyour Mamas hot!" Hesettled back in his chair, musing, "Well, shell be a project, then"

Jean stood there, blushing furiously. She was a project, was she?Embarrassment from the compliment mixed with outrage that a high schooljuniorwell, senior, now, technically, since the boys would all beseniors in the fallconsidered trying to seduce her to be aproject!

Odd as it was, though, there WAS something complimentary about the wholething. Even second-hand as it was, it was the most blatant recognitionof her sexuality that had occurred in some time. Actually, when youthought about it, the fact that Lon didnt know that she was overhearinghim made the comments more believable, since Jean rightly assumed thatLon would level sleazy compliments at just about any woman who piquedhis interest momentarilyand some that didnt. Since Hugh died, maleinterest in a thirty-something, narrow, freckled redhead with a teenageson had been distinctly lacking, even after the grief backed off and shebegan to be able to give thought to the idea of having a new man in herlife. Of course, she had limited assetsher 32As werent wildlyexciting, even if they WERE perky and had spiky nipplesand therewasnt a whole lot of ass, there, either Candace had twice herfigure, and when they went out together those couple of times, Candacecollected all of the male attention while she kind of hung around,eclipsed

To be fair, there was nothing wrong with Jean that better packagingwouldnt have fixedbut she tended to unflattering outfits thatpapered over her small bust instead of emphasizing it and baggy jeansthat made her ass look saggy, despite being high-waisted. Her flyawayhair tended to be corralled in the severe control of a bun, rather thanallowed to flow about her narrow face naturally; basically, she couldnthave looked much more like a scarecrow if shed tried! Her currentoutfit was a case in pointa navy blue one-piece bathing suit of ahalter-top designbut it showed NO cleavage as the front panelextended all the way to the neck! Sure, her back showedso what? Thedark color made her look narrower than she already was, and the topswept up over her teacup titties, flattening her chest even further Candace had disparaged her habits of dress on a hundred occasions, butJean was habituated; once Hugh had discovered her, back when, he hadactually reinforced the bad habits that had made her a wallflower allthrough high school and halfway through college for reasons of his ownbasically, the LAST thing he wanted was for another male to discoverwhat hed latched ontoand of course, since his death there was novisible reason to reverse the trend