Jenny Block - The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex

The

Ultimate Guide

to Solo

Sex

The

Ultimate Guide

to Solo

Sex

All You Ever Wanted to Know about Getting Off

by Jenny Block

Foreword by Betty Dodson

Copyright 2016 by Jenny Block.

All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or online reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by Cleis Press, an imprint of Start Midnight, LLC, 101 Hudson Street, Thirty-Seventh Floor, Suite 3705, Jersey City, NJ 07302.

Printed in the United States.

Cover design: Scott Idleman/Blink

Cover photograph: iStock

Text design: Frank Wiedemann

First Edition.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Trade paper ISBN: 978-1-62778-151-0

E-book ISBN: 978-1-62778-176-3

For Robin

Contents

Foreword
Betty Dodson

I invented masturbation! Yes, I know that sounds preposterous but thats how I felt when I went public extolling the virtues of solo sex! This took place way back in the early seventies when Ms Magazine asked me to write an article about masturbation. My title Liberating Masturbation was changed to Getting to Know Me. I had to write everything in first person to avoid any possibility of a lawsuit if it was just about my experience. Yes, in 1974, the subject of masturbation was that controversial!

When the article appeared, I was yanked out of the masturbation closeta blessing in disguise. The article was great PR for the new workshops Id just launched called Physical and Sexual Consciousness Raising Groups. Theyve been renamed Bodysex workshops. The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex is one of our textbooks. Happily, Jenny has the ability to communicate basic facts about the importance of this humble activity, and how solo sex can put each of us on the path to a healthy orgasmic sex life alone and with our partners.

Yes, weve made some progress in the past forty-some years. However, until masturbation enters the lexicon as a primary form of sexual gratification, we still have a long way to go. Jennys book, The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex takes us one step closer to cost effective and consistently available physical and sexual happiness. Keep a copy on your bedside table along with your organic massage oil and favorite sex toys as a reminder to consistently enjoy all the happy orgasms you desire for your mental and physical well being.

CHAPTER

Introduction to Solo Sex

ITS THE ONLY THING we have, really: our bodies and the pleasure we experience in them. Everything else is window dressingclothes, jobs, cars, even friends and family. It can all come and go in a split second, and nothing is guaranteed or promised to us. We could lose anythingand everythingin an instant.

That goes for our bodies, too, of course. An accident, an injury, a disease, a terrible twist of fate. We could lose the very center where we dwell. But, despite their fragility, our bodies are our one home, our one strength. They are the closest thing we have to a guarantee. And they are the onlythe onlythings that truly and irrevocably belong to us.

Sadly, as women, we are often led to believe that this isnt true, that our bodies belong to our families, or to the public at large, or to religion. But Im here to tell youthat simply isnt true. Not in any way, shape, or form. Our bodies are ours. Now. Tomorrow. Forever.

Why is that so important? Because the only way we can derive power and strength from our bodies is by taking ownership of them. There are lots of ways we can do that. We can dress as we like, eat as we like, take part in the activities and work of our choosing, share our bodies with whom we please and refrain from doing so as well.

But there is another way we can reside in our bodies. There is another, more ancient, more primal, more spiritual, and, truly, simpler wayby experiencing pleasure in them.

Now hear me out. If we only experienced pain and suffering in our bodies; if our bodies were only for the service of others; if our bodies were not our homes but instead merely vehicles that moved us from place to placehow sad that would be.

To have these glorious female bodies, to be the only gender that has an organ created solely and completely for pleasure (Im speaking here about the clitoris, of course)and then to ignore that? Its not only a devastating crime, it is also just plain foolish.

If you believe in intelligent design; if you believe in a higher power; if you believe in a universe of awareness; if you believe in God; if you believe in something more than randomness (and, believe me, there is nothing random about the mighty clitoris)then you have to also believe in not wasting the human ability to experience and enjoy pleasure. Specifically, sexual pleasure. More specifically, female sexual pleasure. Even more specificallyfemale sexual self-pleasure.

We were designed for it.

Think about it. We have an organthe clitoristhat requires nothing more than some focused rubbing to inspire not just waves of pleasure, but also all sorts of health benefits. Orgasm is a natural pain reliever, stress reducer, muscle relaxer, mood lifter, sleep inducer, and warm-fuzzy creator.

Yes, women can achieve orgasm through sex. But having sex involvesor at least should involvethe desires and interests of all parties present. That means focusing on your partner and not just on yourself.

But thats what women do all the time. Every day. Family. Friends. Work. Weekdays. Weekends. Women are caretakers, and we spend most of our time taking care of everyone but ourselves.

You know how on an airplane they remind you to first put on your own oxygen mask before helping others? This is the same thingthe same exact thing. Masturbation is about doing our best for ourselves, if for no other reason than because we want to do our best for others.

In other words, if you wont get yourself off for yourself, do it for the people you love!

Im only sort of kidding about that.

Pleasure is something we owe to ourselves. Without it, what do we really have? Its the one thing no one can take away from you. Ever. You can lose all your worldly goods and everyone you love, but your body is yours.

Its like a safety net of sorts. Its like an ace in the hole. The extra dollar in your back pocket. You can have a lousy day, a lousy week. A relationship fail. Your dog can run away from home. Your girlfriend can leave you for someone new. Butbarring certain unforeseen circumstancesno one can take away your ability to give yourself pleasure.

Why is that so important? Because when we find pleasure in our bodies, we find ourselves. I know. I know. Feels a little ooey-gooey, woo-woo, hokey, all that. But it isnt. And the fact that we think it is is at the very heart of the problem.

Female pleasure is vital. Female self-pleasure is imperative. We have to know our bodies and trust our bodies and have faith in our bodies.

Do me a favor. Take note of how youre feeling right now. Happy? Sad? Anxious? Tired? Are you buying what youre reading? Feeling skeptical? Whatever it is, take note. Now, if you cango masturbate. Seriously. Right now. If you cant, mark this page and try this experiment later. Ill ask you to give it a go several times throughout this book.

After you masturbate, take note of how youre feeling. Happy? Relaxed? Without worry? Empowered? A little emboldened? Self-assured? Sex-high? Peaceful?

You see what Im getting at, of course. No matter what else is going on in your world, masturbating can bring you back to center and help you to remember what is important and what is noise.