Ant Smith - The Small Penis Bible

My comments on New York's Small Penis Pageant from 2015

Why we should support Brooklyn's Small Penis Pageant

Next Saturday sees the third Annual Small Penis Pageant in Brooklyn. They're having a little trouble in attracting competitors, and from all the titter on Twitter today I can understand why.

I'd heard about this pageant before organising London's Big Small Penis Party earlier this year - and it was certainly one of the things that encouraged me to campaign for small penis pride. But I was certain I would not follow their 'pageant' approach. It did seem flawed to me.

The idea of choosing a small penis winner seemed to me to be divisive - a thing that would emphasise the supposed difference between us guys with tiny todgers and 'real men'. And the fact that they had a 'swimwear round' (akin to beauty pageants I suppose) seemed to call upon all the 'sexual objectification' arguments that stand so strongly in opposition to such events.

From first looks, the event seemed highly questionable.

The previous winners though did report having a very positive experience.

It's also important to understand that attitudes can't be changed overnight. People need the opportunity to go on a journey, to learn about, think about, and connect with the issues. We can't, out of the blue, ask the world to stop finding little willies funny!

In fact, humour, spectacle, fancy dress and song & dance are incredibly powerful tools to campaign with. And in regards to this particular (male) body shaming issue we have a trump card, an ace up the sleeve. Let me explain...

Body Shaming is first of all isolating. You're described in terms that mark you out as 'not normal', in a 'less than human' way. When you're talking about things like 'femininity' or 'beauty' it's really easy to accept those feelings of inadequacy because the 'standard' you're being judged against doesn't exist in reality. The Shamers have a near infinite selection of unfair, unreachable, ideals to throw at you.

The penis though, is a much blunter weapon; it comes in a pretty limited number of variations. If I'm in a group of ten lads all having a good laugh about my mini-me, I know a good number of them are as near as dammit in just the same boat. The 'small dicked man' is being judged against the perceived norm, not against some made up fantasy.

Women are body shamed for being fat, in relation to size zero supermodels; for being flat chested, in comparison to the likes of Beshine and her 10,000 cubic ce ntimetres of saline implanted titties .

When I'm body shamed for 'being hung like a mouse', that's in comparison to my peers and the perceived average of 6 inches (the average is actually 5.16 inches )

To put an end to female body shaming we have to convince the world to stop idolising size zero waists and 32Z boobs.

For a guy, all we have to do is make it clear that most of us have small cocks. Fact. We've taught ourselves that 6+ inches is average/acceptable - and anything less is small. So when you body shame me, you're also shaming yourself - or if not, your brother or best friend.

And I'm all about putting an end to male body shaming, because if we can manage that perhaps we can have one of those "D'Oh" moments and realise we need to put an end to ALL body shaming!

So a Small Penis Pageant strikes me as ideal. A joyful, who-gives-a-shit, parade of budgie smugglers is just the tonic to remind us that small is normal. Infinite variety = infinite pleasure. Let's laugh together and demonstrate our Small Penis Pride by supporting the Small Penis Pageant.