Lane - Domme: How to Find Your Key Holder

How exactly did I get involved in this crazy life of key holding?

I've had my share of bad relationships. That's kind of why I was on my toes whenever I went online to browse dating websites. Yes, I could tell there was something missing from my life. I'm not saying I felt like I needed a man in my life, but I did feel like I would benefit from having a partner, someone to share things with, someone to cuddle with at night or a shoulder to cry on when I was feeling down. But, alas, I had been hurt before. And whenever I started to search the web for potential dates, I couldn't shake the feeling that guys were just looking for sex. Of course, I was afraid to look for dates in person because in that cause every guy was not only interested in sex, but interested in sex immediately. I had been on a first date where a guy reached up my skirt and started to finger me through my panties at a movie theater. I had also been persuaded to perform a blow job, against my better judgment, in a bathroom. I wasn't against kinky stuff like thisif only the guys I had given my body to had wanted to keep dating! I'm not against sex. I'm really not. But I wanted something more, too.

I can understand the desire to be submissive. I have felt it myself. There is a distinct pleasure to giving yourself up totally to another person, even if it's humiliating. In fact, sometimes it's even better purely because it's humiliating. So, I can totally relate to guys who have a fetish for this kind of behavior. I guess that's what attracted me to my first real boyfriend, James. Don't get me wrongI had dated guys before. But I always got the feeling that we weren't really boyfriend and girlfriend. What we were doing was just hooking up or messing around together. What surprised me about James was that he said he wasn't looking for sex at all.

He said he was looking for a female led relationship. I didn't know what that was at first, but he went to the trouble in his profile of explaining exactly what it meant. It was a relationship in which the girl could decided when, if ever, to have sex. Crucially though, it was a romantic relationship. We were on a dating website, after all. I couldn't really believe what I was reading, and at first I closed his profile without thinking about it any more. But I couldn't help but wonder if he was perhaps sincere. Would any man really want to date a girl without having sex with her? This was something totally new to me.

So, I decided to give James a try. I sent him a message telling him I thought his idea was interesting, and I wanted to learn more. I guess what I didn't mention at first was that I was genuinely attracted to him as a man, too. He was very cute, or at least I thought he was. He did not have the specific features that women usually associate with male beauty. He wasn't, tall dark and handsome, a chiseled specimen with rippling muscles. In fact, he looked kind of shy an sensitive. Maybe he was different after all.

And, boy was I surprised to find out what he was after. Little did I know, there is a whole world out there of guys who were looking for the same exact thing I was. It turns out, a lot of guys want to be submissive to the women they are dating. Imagine that! At first, I really couldn't. I guess I had fallen victim to the common vice of dating douche bags. I don't think that all guys are bad lovers, or even most of them. I do think that the loudest men out there and the ones who hit on the most women are probably not as good at loving as they could be. If you always get a date without even trying, there's no motivation to try harder.

I communicated with James for a while online before meeting him in person. He was a normal guy, I guess. We both had a lot of the same interests, and it seemed like we could go on a date together and have a good time. One reason I prefer to meet guys online is because the internet affords a level of privacy that lets people be honest when talking. I'm actually pretty reserved in public. I get embarrassed to talk about sex or to use any bad words when talking to people I don't know very well. But online I don't really feel this awkwardness. I mean, when I'm sitting at home in my pajamas and I'm chatting with a guy online who's bullshitting me, I don't have any trouble telling him what I think of him.

Consequently, I made James explain his fetish in detail before I agreed to go out with him on a date. Did he really want a purely platonic relationship, or was this, as I suspected, a bait-and-switch ploy to get my guard down and subsequently get me into bed on the first date? No, he assured me, he wouldn't try to have sex with me on the first date, or ever, if everything worked out as he planned. But neither were we to be just friends. It was to be a sexual relationship, but without the sex.

Believe it or not, this is not only possible, but a relationship without sex can be extremely erotic. Perhaps I should qualify this by saying that no sex means no penetration. You do need physical intimacy. As our relationship grew, we became extremely intimate. In fact, the very admission that you want to be in a female led relationship is kind of a confession in itself. Most guys would be embarrassed to put themselves out there like that and admit that they get turned on by being denied sex and humiliated. So, from the very beginning our relationship was different from any other one I had ever been in. And I was surprised how excited it made me, too.

So, if you want to have a key holder in your life, what kind of girl should you look for? The answer is, any woman would love to be your key holder. If done right, it can be a rewarding and fulfilling experience for both members of the relationship. Maybe you have already been dating for a while and you haven't done anything kinky. You might already be married. The point is, you shouldn't be afraid to communicate with your partner and tell her what you really want. You might be surprised to learn that she is into it, too.