Introduction
I want to thank you and congratulate you for downloading the book , BDSM Playbook For Beginners .
This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to explore the concept of BDSM to bring about amazing improvements in your sex life and in your relationship.
Imagine yourself and your partner playing a game. Your lover stands behind you while you lean backward, eyes closed, and you let yourself fall, trusting your lover to catch you. Certain thoughts will probably race through your mind.
Will your lover catch you?
Will he/she let you fall?
Will he/she be able to catch you in time?
And yet, despite the risks, when everything goes exactly as planned, the both of you experience an incomparably exhilarating sensation. This is what BDSM is all about : Trust. Excitement. An incomparable intimate experience.
Sadly, Mainstream movies and cheap erotica have tainted peoples perception of BDSM. These days, a lot of people misconstrue BDSM as an abusive and bizarre practice. In fact, BDSM is about respect. Its not about striking fear. Its about conquering fear. BDSM is when trust, confidence, and curiosity win over the possibility of pain or harm or humiliation. Through this book, you will learn the true definition of BDSM, the origins and the basics, and more importantly, the benefits of introducing BDSM to your relationship.
During sex, you need to be involved not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. BDSM makes you available and vulnerable to your partner in all three dimensions and vice versa, thus deepening your intimacy. Through these pages, you will discover the basic steps to incorporating BDSM into your sex life from proper communication to basic BDSM sex techniques to recommended tools and toys for beginners.
Thanks again for downloading this book. I hope you enjoy it!
Copyright 2016 by Melissa Beach - All rights reserved.
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Chapter 1. BDSM Demystified
Nowadays, BDSM is often used to describe a broad range of erotic practices that are perceived as beyond ordinary, and even deviant. But if youve ever blindfolded your lover, if youve ever spanked your partner for naughty behavior, or if youve ever teased someone by briefly withholding sexual pleasure, then youve taken the baby steps to BDSM.
Contrary to what most people may believe, BDSM is far from being a modern sex fad. BDSM has been practiced for centuries though the acronym was first used between the 50s and the 60s.
- B stands for Bondage which refers to the use of restraints in order to heighten sexual pleasure.
- D stands for Discipline, which refers to the use of punishment and reward in order to control sexual behavior.
- D&S stands for Dominance and Submission which is commonly perceived as power play. D&S relationships need not necessarily be physical. In fact, there are a lot of Dom-Sub relationships online. Furthermore, Dom-Sub relationships arent all that black and white. Couples may choose to switch roles from time to time. Meanwhile, some individuals have a tendency to develop a taste for the opposite role throughout the course of time.
- S&M means Sadism and Masochism which is usually where some people get their impression of BDSM. But as you are discovering now, there is more to BDSM than just whips and chains.
This acronym is that which ties together various sexual activities that may seem to have nothing in common at all. Others use the term BDSM to describe a fetish. Others use it to describe a lifestyle.
BDSM is more than just spanking or playing the role of the sub or the dom. BDSM is a great many things. Its about taking control. Its about relinquishing control. Its about inflicting physical pain to show love and respect. Its about taking the pain to show love and respect. Its that human beast of burden pulling a cart. Its turning your sex partner into a foot stool. Its mild hair pulling. Its suspending your sexual soulmate from the ceiling. Its keeping your lover on his/her toes figuratively and literally. Its donning costumes and assuming a role. Its cock worship. Its forced bedwetting. Its a kidnapping fantasy. Its a nipple-pinching, ball-crushing, butt-bruising game. BDSM can be all these things and more. Yet it can never be used to exclusively define a single fetish or activity.
More importantly, BDSM is a consensual act and an agreement made between two responsible individuals who want to bring their sexual experience to new heights. Ultimately, BDSM is a shared adventure where couples become free to explore their innermost fantasies, to discover their boundaries, and to push those boundaries.
BDSM is an exploration of the self. It is an exploration of ones partner. It is an exploration of ones willingness to be truthful to oneself and to ones partner. It is not a dehumanizing act. Rather, it is the most human form of lovemaking there is. Animals may have sex without talking, planning or negotiating but in BDSM sex, boundaries are made clear, setups are arranged, needs are addressed, and emotions are nurtured.
Chapter 2. The History of Kink
Records found by anthropologists dating back to 4000-3100 BCE in early Mesopotamia showed evidences of festivities and sacrifices which involve domination, cross-dressing, giving and taking of pain for pleasure, and altered states of consciousness.
Graphical proof of sadomasochism was discovered in an Estrucan burial site dating back to 6 th Century BCE. It was a depiction of two men whipping one woman with the use of their bare hands and a cane while assuming an erotic position.
In the Kama Sutra (300 CE), youll find sections which refer to sexual practices that involve pain and pleasure. According to the book, you must only inflict pain upon women who agree to receive it. Hence, the Kama Sutra provides us with the earliest record of consensual kinky sex.