Elizabeth Cramer - Doms Guide to Submissive Training

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training

Step-by-step Blueprint On How To Train Your New Sub. A Must Read For Any Dom/Master In A BDSM Relationship

Elizabeth Cramer

Copyright 2013 by Elizabeth Cramer

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training

Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.

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LEGAL NOTICE

The Publisher has strived to be as accurate and complete as possible in the creation of this book. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. Any perceived slights of specific persons, peoples, or organizations are unintentional.

This book is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting or financial advice. All readers are advised to seek services of competent professionals in the legal, business, accounting, and finance fields.

The information in this book is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content contained in this book is for general information purposes only. Always consult your healthcare provider before carrying on any health program

Table of Contents

Introduction

A BDSM relationship isnt just a work of love; its a work of art. Every part of the relationship has been carefully crafted to allow each partner to fit together and make their kinks and desires support the intensity and passion of the coupling.

A Dom/sub relationship doesnt just happen. It is a finely crafted and designed system of expectations and joys. In order for you and your submissive lady to fit one another and create a lasting, happy union there must be a period of training.

Some Doms view training as "something you do for 18 year olds or newbies who have never been a sub before." Others make the mistake of thinking their dominance is so natural the sub will simply fall into line and know exactly what they want and how they want it. Both ideas are the building blocks for disasters.

All men are different. Being trained or having been bonded to another Dom doesnt mean she knows how to serve you. It means she knows how to serve him.

Subs are not natural mind readers; in fact, they are terrible at it. The human psyche often places our own likes or dislikes into the way we read others feelings and actions. So she may think shes pleasing you when shes really just pleasing her idea of what she would like if she was the Dom.

It does not matter if your sub has thirty years of experience in submission or just read 50 Shades of Grey and decided to try it herself. She will need to be trained for the best relationship to emerge.

Training can be one of the most exciting, challenging and fun parts of the relationship. A well-trained sub will not only serve you in the capacity you deserve, but will have built up the two most important elements in any BDSM relationship trust and consistency . It also allows you to show yourself as a worthy master, who is in control, experienced and able to guide you both to the best possible life.

This guide is written for the real time (not online) training of submissives with a medium to high level of protocol. It is recommended you start training very strict, and then loosen your requirements to a more comfortable level after the period of training is complete.

This guide is also written for couples who do not have children around the house and are living together or have a large amount of access to each other for longer session-based training. If there are children in your home, these practices will need to take place when the children are out of the house or unaware of your activity.

Chapter 1: Preparation

Gather Her History

It doesnt matter how many emails you send back and forth getting to know one another. Make sure the very first thing you do when you get together is share history with each another.

Learn as much about her formation and development as a sub as possible. Start with some questions about her childhood, particularly in regard to punishment and feelings she has about being corrected.

A sub who grew up in a home where spanking was common may see the practice as love or may think it is something to be avoided because it always means disapproval. A woman who grows up in a home where there is light or no discipline (more common in younger subs) may not have a lot of experience with authority and will need more reinforcement on the concept.

Talk about former lovers and sexual experiences. It doesnt sound like much fun to spend time hearing about the other men and masters in her life, but it will keep you from making the same mistakes they did.

Talk directly about how she began to understand she was a submissive and what experiences reinforced her self-knowledge. Ask what some of her best challenges and joys have been as a submissive and what her worst or lowest point has been while serving a man.

If your sub is a brand spanking new submissive, talk to her about her vanilla relationships. What did she feel was lacking in them that led her to want a Dom/sub relationship?

The more you know about where she has been, the more competent you will be to determine where she is going.

Create a Formal Understanding

Because there is no standard way for people to come into BDSM and everyone has their own ideas about everything from the definition of words to the ways submission is practiced, it is important you have a spoken, agreed-upon and clear understanding of what you both want and expect.

The DNA of a Dom/sub relationship is consent . It is the foundational stone all the rest of the relationship will be built upon. She cant give you consent if she doesnt know exactly what you plan to do and what her service will be like.

Be sure she is fully informed about what it means to be your submissive. Later, during the opening ritual, have her sign a contract so your understanding is reinforced and can be looked up later in the relationship.

Be aware that a woman who has a submissive nature is going to tell you everything you want to hear, especially if she can't actually visualize it happening. This is very common in relationships that start on Fetlife, Alt.com, or other fetish sites. When she's tucked in her bed at home on a laptop she may be telling you that she can't wait for you to take her anally. But, when she is with you in person and it is real, she may back down and say, "Thats a limit I have."

Establishing a mutual understanding of limits is the wisest course of action. Make sure you give her the time and ability to fully express how she feels about each limit so you can determine which kind of limit it is, and make your training plan accordingly.

There are three types of limits:

• Universal Limits : Things about which there is no question. It's not a choice; it's the law. Any sexual activity with children, animals, people mentally/physically unable to consent, or people who have withdrawn consent is always out of bounds.

• Hard Limits : Things she will not do because she has personal/moral/health reasons and the limit is never going to change. For many women things like scat, urine drinking, unprotected sex with strangers, cutting, branding or permanent scarification are hard limits.