Lola A. Åkerström - Live Laugh Lagom Enough Is Enough--Embracing the Swedish Way to Balance and Happiness

Text copyright 2017 Headline Publishing Group Limited. Photographs 2017 Lola A. kerstrm. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Published in the US by:

ULYSSES PRESS

PO Box 3440

Berkeley, CA 94703

www.ulyssespress.com

ISBN 978-1-61243-778-1

First published in 2017 in Great Britain as Lagom: The Swedish Secret of Living Well by Headline Publishing Group, a Hachette UK Company

US editor: Renee Rutledge

Interior design and Illustrations: Sinem Erkas

Cover design: Rebecca Lown

Distributed by Publishers Group West

CONTENTS

Table of Contents

To my darling husband and kids, who fill my life with joy, love, and meaning.

Where there is modesty, there is virtue.

Swedish Proverb

I first noticed this unspoken ethos, like the awkward elephant in the room, years ago while dining with violinists and bassists who perform in local orchestras, including the Royal Philharmonic and Radio Symphony Orchestras in Stockholm, Sweden. A typical week for them could involve playing at Nobel Prize ceremonies or a more private gig for the Swedish royal family.

But I was the odd one out. The outsider whod been invited to this rather casual dinner where the unspoken dress code was well-worn blue jeans paired with loose-fitting tops for the ladies and more tailored, tighter cuts for the men, all feet clad in warm woolen socks.

A certain air of moderation enveloped our group. The gratuitous peppering of self-achievements seemed nonexistent within our conversation. No one willingly divulged personal information unless asked by another guest. The average number of languages fluently spoken within the group was three each, yet this class of globetrotters whod traversed the world multiple times quickly dismissed their skills because they werent native speakers. On several occasions, our banter dipped into long stretches of silence, one which seemed perfectly comfortable for them. The small apartment we inhabited oozed warmth and contentment.

That subconscious moment was when lagom as a quiet rule began to clearly emerge from the shadows for me as a new resident in Sweden. Still, I threw it all down to modesty and humility among fast friends who knew each other well and didnt feel the need to brag or take up the entire conversation.

But that silent ethos raised its head once again in a completely different setting, and that was when I realized it was also a shape-shifting public code of conduct along the lines of appropriate.

I noticed it when our group of passengers arriving in Stockholm from Swedish Lapland waited in silence at a baggage conveyor belt for delayed luggage. Beyond acquaintances sharing words among themselves, strangers didnt interact with each other for close to thirty minutes during that unusually long technical delay. Had I been somewhere else, Id have nudged a fellow passenger, and we would have commiserated as loudly as we could about our predicament.

But here, within the ecosystem of the Swedish mindset, stating the obvious seemed unnecessary.

This ideology was further solidified when I was running late for a Swedish class and had prepared an explanation for my tardiness to deliver to my teacher.

No need, a local promptly advised me. No need to explain yourself. Just apologize for being late. I didnt need to share more information than was necessary.

Especially if I wasnt asked.

Give equal in reply, answer according to the call.

Swedish Proverb

That moment brought me full circle back to my dinner with the musicians, and I could see that principle in all its clarity now. Over time, what started out as the awkward elephant in the room morphed into an unseen guiding spirit whispering reminders into ones ear.

Not too much, not too little, it whispers. Just right.

Not the middle. Not average. Not complacency. Just right.

And that distinction remains the underlying power of lagom as the basis for achieving an optimal lifestyle where one gives and receives in equal part without disturbing the balance between individuality and group dynamics.

Id heard of this unspoken custom long before moving to Sweden, and over time, Ive come to adopt lagom in various aspects of my own life as Ive further immersed myself in Swedish culture. This book deeply reflects my unique vantage pointa marriage between the objectivity that comes with looking in and the subjectivity that comes with an intimate and multifaceted relationship with Sweden.

Lagom is so much more than the simple act of moderation it is so commonly associated with.

And through this book, I hope to show you how this little, understated word not only deeply permeates the Swedish psyche (including through old Swedish proverbs), but how it may very well be the little secret that could push you toward living your most sustainable life yet.

Not just living a life of balance, but finding the perfect equilibrium for you.

The right amount is best.

Swedish Proverb

We live in times of undue pressure that demand we constantly remain plugged in and connected with the rest of the world, stay on top of breaking news by the second, and keep up with the dizzying speed of technological advancements, lifestyle changes, and pop culture norms.

We move at an unnatural pace trying to keep up with others, stay relevant, and avoid getting metaphorically left behind. We continually feel the internal push against external pressures from our surroundingsfrom work, play, relationships, and society. We constantly derail our own natural tracks in life and are sometimes forced to push our individual reset buttons.

So we disconnect, detox, and shut the world out in an effort to relax, recuperate, and rejuvenate our bodies emotionally, mentally, and physically. These solutions, no matter how revitalizing they are at the precise moments we activate them, are often temporary. So in our continued quest to find new ways of balancing our lives and inching closer to our happy mediums, we often look outside our boxes of comfort to draw inspiration and learn from others.