Melanie Barnes - Seeking Slow Reclaim Moments of Calm in Your Day

RECLAIM MOMENTS OF CALM IN YOUR DAY

Melanie Barnes

creator of Geoffrey and Grace

It was not long after my daughter was born that we started to explore slow living. It all started with a gradual realization that time is a precious commodity that we cannot get back. Becoming a mother highlighted to me how fleeting time can be as I watched how quickly our baby was growing into a little girl. I didnt want to miss a minute of it because I was rushing through life too busy or too stressed. I wanted to be as present as possible and soak in her childhood and every little detailthe fun and the challenging.

Through the early years of our daughters life, I found that my perspective on many things altered. What was once important didnt seem so important anymore, and I discovered new priorities. In response to these changes, we began to adapt the way we approached life as a family. We began to think about what was essential and what could be simplified. On examining my motivation for slowing life down, I knew I wanted to be as intentional and present with my time as possible; however, I also realized that I needed to prioritize my and my familys well-being, and that slow living would facilitate this.

During this time, I had a recurring conversation with many people. We would talk about our difficulties in balancing the challenges of life: work, parenthood, paying the bills, running a home, etc., with this desire to slow down, enjoy life, and generally feel better. But we didnt know where to start or how to make time to do so. Slowing down and prioritizing our well-being seemed to be an unfamiliar concept to many of us.

When I looked a little closer, I realized that I had in many ways always been a proponent for slow livingwe all have things we do so naturally that we never question them or consider that they might be unique. From a young age, I remember wanting to feel connected to my body. I thought that if I understood my body and all its facets, I would therefore understand myself. Learning to appreciate and listen to my body has naturally always allowed me to be guided by my well-being. I assumed everyone approached life this way and that being in your body and listening to your body was instinctual to all of us. As I entered further into adulthood, I realized that this was not the case and that many people live their whole lives without being truly connected to their bodies.

Studying dance and movement, and then yoga, meditation, and holistic therapies later in my life, meant that I had the opportunity to deeply explore the connection to myself: how my body moves, what its limits are, the body-mind connection, and how to restore and nurture myself. Spending time learning about the human body and mind in this way naturally changed the context of how I viewed myself, and an increase in the awareness of my general well-being automatically followed suit.

Having spent fifteen months exploring my craft as a dancer in New York City and taking as many dance, movement, and yoga classes as possible, I had stretched my body to its limits. I was as connected to my physical body as I was ever going to be, but I started to think that perhaps there were other elements that were missing. On returning to the UK, I went through a lengthy spell of feeling unwell, and went back and forth to the doctor. Eventually, there was a vague diagnosis of irritable bowel syndrome, and in terms of treatment, little guidance and help were offered, which encouraged me to explore changing my diet and how I could better support my body holistically. After about six months of dietary changes and altering some of my habits and routines, I started to feel well again. I could see that the changes I had made to my lifestyle were having a positive impact.

Approaching life holistically allowed me to think about my body and my well-being in a more complete way. I realized how important it was to consider the whole picture when making choices and decisions about myself and my loved ones. As well as taking into account my physical health, holistic living encouraged me to look at my mental and emotional health and consider the impact of stress and anxiety. Realizing that everything is intimately interconnected changes how we respond to looking after ourselves.

My experience had taught me that it was possible to feel better by simply altering aspects of my lifestyle. I wanted others to be able to benefit in the same way, so I decided to look further into the things that had improved my well-being. I studied yoga, yoga philosophy, and meditation before becoming a Kundalini yoga teacher and massage therapist. On many occasions, I had to encourage myself to embrace unconventional philosophies when seeking well-being ideas and inspiration, realizing that we must try something and experience it before passing judgment on whether it can be of any benefit to us.

Teaching was incredibly rewarding, as I would see a noticeable shift in people in the space of just a class. They would come in looking tired or frazzled and leave breathing a little deeper and looking more relaxed. I spent nearly all my twenties and early thirties studying or teaching yoga, movement, and meditation, yet in my early thirties, something happened that created a disconnect within myself. Everything that I had learned and had been practicing, gradually began to fall away as I slipped further into a state of depression and isolated myself more and more.

Anyone who has had difficulties in becoming a parent and with infertility will know what a painful and lonely time it can be. Month after month went by without a positive result, and then months turned into years, and still we had no answers. I struggled to cope with the constant disappointment and the uncertainty of it all. I felt let down by the fact that my body didnt seem to be able to do what I wanted the most. I had spent the last fifteen years learning to be connected to my body and consider my well-being, yet it didnt seem to make a difference when it came to wanting to become a mother. After a difficult three and half years, I had just come to terms with the fact that we probably wouldnt be able to have any children, when a few months later we became pregnant.

After our daughter was born, that sense of time being precious was no doubt amplified by the fact that it took us such a long time to conceive. The early years of our daughters life inspired my first steps into slow living, and I began sharing my thoughts about motherhood and simplifying our lives on Instagram and on my blog, Geoffrey and Grace. Through reading, writing, and talking about my experiences, I realized that many others were also feeling this desire to slow down and simplify, in order to connect with the important things in life. I thought about the things we were doing that were helping our family slow down and feel good, and wanted to share them. Gradually, through conversation with friends and family, I remembered how I had always been drawn to think about my body and prioritize my well-being. Perhaps now I could help others slow down and feel more connected to their bodies in the same way.

Geoffrey and Grace initially started as a creative project purely for pleasure, but it has now grown from a blog to guiding and impacting all parts of my lifefrom becoming my full-time job to influencing our lifestyle choices as a family.