Bernadette Noll - Slow Family Living: 75 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Connect, and Create More Joy

Advance Praise for

Slow Family Living

In a society set on having it all, Slow Family Living points out: Wait! You already have what you need. All you have to do is slow down and appreciate it. Bernadette Nolls book helps us reject the time- and money-wasters weve been sold on, and savor the most golden thing weve gottime, especially time together.

Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids

Bernadette Noll has a long track record of helping families slow down and find the pace of life that suits them best. How lucky we are that she has now distilled her experience into a wise and readable book. Slow Family Living is packed with practical ways to bring joy and sanity back to family life and give our children a childhood worthy of the name. In this overstimulated, crazy-busy, roadrunner culture of ours, every family needs a copy.

Carl Honor, author of In Praise of Slow and Under Pressure

Slowing down and making time for the gestation of your own ideas and being conscious of your own process are the foundations of both genius and happiness. Rather than letting the pace of the world determine your own familys pace, Slow Family Living encourages everyone to step back from the craziness and determine their own rhythms and routines. The pauses are integral not only to happiness but to pure unadulterated brilliance.

Gever Tulley, author of 50 Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do)

Bernadette Noll, one of my favorite authors, offers essential advice for healthy family living: Slow down and be present with yourself and your loved ones. Her 75 recipes for slow family living are down-to-earth and easy to implement. This book is a real gem, a peaceful haven in a sea of overstimulation.

Peggy OMara, founder of Mothering.com

Parents Praise the Slow Family Living Movement

So much fantastic, useful and inspiring information! Thanks!

S.W., Edmonton, AB

Raising emotionally whole, healthy people is no easy task. It does take a village as well as a lot of time and energy. I applaud this movement to slow down and see what is really important.

A.M., Portland, ME

If you want to do something to change the world for the better and really understand why youre the kind of parent you are: take this class.

E.B., Austin, TX

75 Simple Ways to
Slow Down, Connect, and
Create More Joy

Bernadette Noll

A PERIGEE BOOK

A PERIGEE BOOK

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephens Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 707 Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3008, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa), Rosebank Office Park, 181 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parktown North 2193, South Africa Penguin China, B7 Jiaming Center, 27 East Third Ring Road North, Chaoyang District, Beijing 100020, China

Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Copyright 2013 by Bernadette Noll

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

PERIGEE is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

The P design is a trademark belonging to Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First edition: March 2013

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Noll, Bernadette.
Slow family living : 75 simple ways to slow down, connect, and create more joy / Bernadette Noll.
pages cm
ISBN: 978-1-101-61969-8
1. Families. 2. Parenthood. 3. Parent and child. I. Title.
HQ755.8.N59846 2013
306.85dc23 2012040601

Most Perigee books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotions, premiums, fund-raising, or educational use. Special books, or book excerpts, can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write: Special Markets, Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

To Kenny. Thank you for being.

What do humans need to be healthy, whole, and connected?

This is a question Ive been asking myself since childhood. As an adult Ive created a professional life that affords me the opportunity to work with thousands of families. I have created my own laboratory, under the auspices of being an early parenting coach and human development specialist, which allows me to explore this very question. However, this is not an exploration that started in adulthood.

As a very young person I was drawn to babies and children. As a result, I spent a lot of time with the moms in my neighborhood as a mothers helper. I would spend hours in their homes watching them parent their children and talking to them about life and motherhood. Little did I know then I was studying and gathering information that would serve me professionally down the road. They lived slow, connected, joyful lives. It felt right being with them. It felt like life was safe and flowing, and well paced. I definitely tucked that away in my subconscious.

As my path unfolded I became fascinated with psychology and later, holistic health. The same question kept coming up over and over and over again, What do humans need to be healthy, whole, and connected?

My quest continued and I stumbled on the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology. The field draws from research and theory in the areas of cellular biology, attachment theory, interpersonal neurobiology, epigenetics, and consciousness studies and is based on the premise that we arrive as whole, conscious beings in very immature, very vulnerable, bodies. From this perspective, development is viewed not as a process of pouring information in but rather as a process of unfolding out into our best and most expansive selves. And this takes time and care and lots of love.

So where does slowing down fit into all of this? Its a necessary part of human development. As we take in all of the information that is thrown our way, day in and day out, it is absolutely necessary for us to pause long enough for our brains to absorb and integrate all that we have seen, heard, and learned in the course of a daywhether that is information or relationships. We thrive when we are taking in and then pausing to integrate. Doing and then being. Doing, being. Doing, being. When we do this, we stay emotionally and physiologically resourced. When we are resourced we are more present, more compassionate, more connected. We navigate life in more fluid and relaxed ways. When we dont allow for the pauses that are essential to healthy humanhood, we get overwhelmed. When we are in constant go, go, go mode we are stressing our systems in a way that can leave us physically and emotionally exhausted and disconnectedwith ourselves and the people around us.