Simone Davies - The Montessori Toddler: A Parent__039;s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

T H EM O N T E S S O R IT O D D L E R A PA R E N T S G U I D E TO R A I S I N G A C U R I O U S A N D R E S P O N S I B L E H U M A N B E I N G S I M O N E DAV I E S I L L U S T R AT E D B Y H I YO KO I M A I W O R K M A N P U B L I S H I N G | N E W YO R K Copyright 2019 by Jacaranda Tree Montessori Illustration copyright 2019 by Hiyoko Imai All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopyingwithout written permission of the publisher. Published simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son Limited. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available. ISBN 978-1-5235-0689-7 Design and illustrations by Hiyoko Imai Author photo by Rubianca Han Simmelsgaard Editing assistance by Alexis Wilson Briggs, alphaomegaconsulting.nl Workman books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fund-raising or educational use. Special editions or book excerpts can also be created to specification.

For details, contact the Special Sales Director at the address below, or send an email t Feelings and Needs chart reprinted with permission by Yoram Mosenzon, connecting2life.net Workman Publishing Co., Inc. 225 Varick Street New York, NY 10014-4381 workman.com themontessorinotebook.com hiyokoimai.com WORKMAN is a registered trademark of Workman Publishing Co., Inc. Printed in the United States of America First printing February 2019 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 This book is for Oliver and Emma.I feel honored to be your mother.You inspire me every day.CONTENTSINTRODUCTIONLETS CHANGETHE WAY WE SEE TODDLERS Toddlers are misunderstood humans. People see toddlers as difficult. There are not many good examples of how to be with toddlers in a loving, patient, supportive way. They start to walk, they start to explore, theyre only just learning to communicate with words, and they dont have a whole lot of impulse control.

They cant sit still easily in cafes and restaurants, they see an open space and start running, they have tantrums (often at the most inconvenient times and in the most inconvenient places), and they touch anything that looks interesting. They get called the terrible twos. They do not listen. They keep throwing everything. They wont sleep/eat/use the toilet. When my children were small, it didnt feel right to get their cooperation with threats, bribes, and time-outs, yet it was difficult to find alternatives.

I heard a radio interview when my first child was very young. The guest talked about the negative effects of using time-outs as a punishmentit alienated the child when they needed support and made the child upset with the adult rather than helping the child make amends. I listened attentively for the guest to tell parents what to do instead, but the radio interview ended there. Its been my mission since then to find my own answers. I entered a Montessori school for the first time as a new parent and instantly fell in love. The environment was so carefully prepared and inviting.

The teachers were approachable and spoke to our baby (and us) with respect. We put our names on the waiting list for the school and joined the parent-toddler classes. I learned so much about the Montessori approach in these classes and about toddlers. Toddlers thrive in an environment that challenges them; they seek to be understood, and they take in the world around them like sponges. I realized that I related easily to toddlersI could see their perspective, and the way they learned fascinated me. I was lucky to start working as Ferne van Zyls assistant in this classroom.

I did my Montessori training with the Association Montessori Internationale in 2004, and when life took us from Sydney to Amsterdam, I was surprised there werent any Montessori parent-child classes in our new city. So I soon started my own school Jacaranda Tree Montessoriwhere I lead parent-child classes, helping families see their toddler in a new way and helping them incorporate the Montessori approach in their homes. I continue to love learning from the nearly one thousand toddlers and parents Ive seen over the many years running these classes. Ive participated in Positive Discipline teacher training and learned Nonviolent Communication. I continue to read innumerable books and articles, speak to teachers and parents, and listen to radio programs and podcasts. And Ive learned from my own children, who have grown from toddlers to teenagers.

I want to share with you what I have learned. I want to translate the wisdom of Montessori into simple language that is easy to understand and that you can apply in your own home. By picking up this book, you have taken a step in your own journey toward finding another way to be with your toddler, whether or not your child will attend a Montessori school. You will get the tools to work together with your child, to lead them, and to support them, especially when they are having a hard time. Youll learn how to set up your home to get rid of the chaos and to bring some calm to your familys life. To set up a yes space for your child to freely explore.

And youll discover how to create Montessori activities at home that are just right for toddlers. This will not happen in one day. And you are not trying to re-create a Montessori classroom. You can start smallwork with what you already have, put away some of the toys you already have so that you can rotate them, start to really observe the children as they follow their interestsand gradually youll find yourself incorporating more and more Montessori ideas into your home and daily life. I hope to show you that there is another, more peaceful way to be with your toddler. To help you plant the seeds to raise a curious and responsible human being.

To work on a relationship with your child that you will continue to build upon for years. To put Dr. Montessoris philosophies into practice every day. Its time for us to learn how to see through our toddlers eyes.