Maureen Marzi Wilson - Positively Introverted: Finding Your Way in a World Full of People

Positively Introverted

Find Your Way in a World Full of People

Advice and coping strategies from one introvert to another

by Maureen Marzi Wilson

for Kiko and Mochi,

who love me

(and barely tolerate each other)

Hi, Im Marzi! Im an introvertbut I didnt always know that. I spent most of my life thinking I was really weird because I liked being alone more than I enjoyed socializing. (Ive since realized I am actually a little bit weird, but thats unrelated to my introversion.)

When I finally discovered I was an introvert, I spent a lot of time researching temperament and exploring how it influenced daily life. I learned a great deal about what it means to be an introvert, but I didnt really know what to do with that information. If youre an introvert, too, you might feel the same confusion.

After all, we introverts live in a world designed for extroverts. To be healthy and happy, we need to figure out how to navigate within the world.

Easier said than done, right? From relationship disasters to friendship struggles to workplace snafus, I was encountering an endless series of challenges that undermined my introversion. To overcome these obstacles, I realized I needed to be proactive about protecting and nurturing my quiet nature.

After years of trial and error (and lots of therapy!), Ive had enough experiencesboth positive and negativeto fill a book.So here we are! Were going to figure out how to approach the world on our own (introverted) terms. Whether that means setting clear boundaries, carving out some precious alone time, or talking through your feelings, this book is full of ideas on how to embrace your introverted nature. Pour a cup of tea, find a quiet spot, and curl up with your coziest blanket, because we have a lot to talk about.

If you picked up this book, you were likely drawn to it because youre an introvert (or suspect you might be). Hooray! Its always wonderful to meet another introvert (from a distance, that is).

In this chapter, well get started with the basics. Well talk about the ins and outs of introversion: how introverts differ from extroverts, the particular needs and challenges of introverts, and what sort of gifts introverts have to offer the world.

Maybe you already feel pretty certain that youre an introvert. Or perhaps you arent quite sure. Luckily for you, Ive created a list of Top 10 Signs Youre an Introvert. How many of the following describe you?

• You refrain from sharing your ideas until youve had time to think things through. You feel flustered or irritated when others demand an immediate response.
  
• You feel most at peace when youre alone. Solitude brings you serenity, and you enjoy your own company. As I like to say, often alone, rarely lonely.
  
• You crave quiet, cozy spaces; crowded locations make you feel tense. Parties are overwhelming! Youd much rather be on the sidelines than in the thick of the festivities. When celebrations get too chaotic, you have a habit of disappearing.
  
• You have a heightened sensitivity to stimuli. Loud sounds startle you, while extended exposure to noise often results in a headache. You find bright lights especially bothersome.
  
• You thoroughly consider potential outcomes and consequences when making decisions. Youre uncomfortable with unnecessary risk-taking, especially when the stakes are high.
  
• You have one or two best friends rather than a large group of buddies. While others say the more the merrier, you say the fewer the better. You prefer to invest your energy in deep, close relationships instead of spreading yourself thin. Youre extremely loyal to the few who are a part of your inner sanctum.
  
• Your home is your sanctuary. Youve cultivated a space that suits you, and there are few places youd rather be. When you have a choice between staying in or going out, you almost always want to stay home. If theres an unexpected knock on the door, it feels like an intrusion of your personal space. You wish people would text before dropping by!
  
  
• You find social interactions emotionally and physically draining. Even if youre participating in an activity you enjoy, with people you like, there is a limit to how much you can handle. When you push yourself beyond that limit, you feel frazzled and on edge. You tend to excuse yourself early and head home long before everyone else.
  
• You spend a lot of time thinking. Then thinking some more! Your brain is a vibrant place, and theres always something new to ponder. Maybe you like to build things in your head. Or perhaps you have a fantasy world you escape to? You find it a bit odd when other people complain that theyre bored. How could anyone be bored when there are so many possibilities to imagine?!