Dan Allender - Bold Love

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Copyright 1992 by Wounded Heart Ministries and Tremper Longman III. All rights reserved.

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ISBN 978-0-89109-703-7

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture in this publication is from the Holy Bible New International Version, ( NIV ). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. Another version used is the New American Standard Bible ( NASB ). Copyright by The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission.

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

Allender, Dan B.

Bold love / Dan B. Allender, Tremper Longman III. 319 p.; 24 cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 08910-97031

LoveReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Love-hate relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Interpersonal relations. 4. ReconciliationReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Longman, Tremper.

241.4 A432b

CIP

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If imitation is the highest form of compliment, then I owe thanks to many that I have borrowed from in terms of ideas and spirit. James Dobsons Love Must Be Tough opened my eyes to the strength of love. Os Guinness in a lecture on Fool Making from 1 Corinthians 1 helped me understand the importance of surprise in undermining arrogance. M. Scott Peck compellingly described evil in People of the Lie and advised us to reflect on evil as a daily reality rather than as an occasional aberration. Frederick Buechners The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy and Fairy Tale deepened my tears, laughter, and wonder in the gospel. I am indebted to writers and pilgrims Ive never met.

I am also grateful for a community of colleagues and staff that continue to support me in my growth and productivity: Precious Atchison, Cheryl Jones, Natalie Merilatt, Sue Rike, Al Andrews, Liam Atchison, Don Hudson, Tom Varney, and Joe Wall. Larry Crabb, my most passionate advocate and critic, has relentlessly offered me a living picture of bold love in our years of friendship. The turbulence and heartache of this dark world and odd profession is soothed by the honor of walking with him.

The staff of NavPress are supportive co-laborers in the wearisome task of making books. Traci Mullins, my editor and friend, guided me through the labyrinth of conceptual, syntactical, and grammatical mire with mirth and kindness.

The idea for this book occurred during our yearly vacation with David and Meg Dupee, Tremper and Alice Longman, and all our brood. I am deeply grateful for relationships that possess a history that precedes conversion and will stretch into an eternity of shared stories. Tremper, my co-author, was the one who introduced me to eternity and to the joy of learning. Our shared roots are deep.

I owe my wife, Rebecca, and my children, Anna, Amanda, and Andrew, my deepest, most abiding gratitude. This book is largely the fruit of my wifes unswerving commitment to offer us an exquisite taste of earthy, lively, transcendent love.

In Memoriam

O. Lee Allender

1929-1991

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casketsafe, dark, motionless, airlessit will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

From The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

We are lovers in a dangerous time. Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. We have to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.

Bruce Cochburn Love in a Dangerous Time

The love for equals is a human thingof friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely.

The world smiles.

The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thingthe love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world.

The love for the more fortunate is a rare thingto love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints.

And then there is the love for the enemylove for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain.

The tortureds love for the torturer. This is Gods love. It conquers the world.

From The Magnificent Defeat by Frederick Buechner

Well never get it quite right until were home. Only then will we be safe from damaging assault, uncorrupted by false values, and entirely free to live by design. But until then, God has made provision for our joy in the middle of adversity. He quietly stirs up a hunger for purity that is stronger than lust; and He empowers us to pursue other people, even ones who mistreat us, in the strength of forgiveness and restorative grace.

But supernatural joy, deep purity, and passionate love (the kind that survives abusive treatment) are in short supply in our Christian communities. Were better at singing about joy than sensing its reality when adversity hits. Were more inclined to resign ourselves to conceal impurities than to honestly confront our defeat. And we like to measure our spirituality in terms that never require us to face the deadness in our souls, which takes the passion out of our relationships.

There are signs, however, that God is on the move. Two trends in particular encourage me to think that an awakening may be on the way. They give me hope as I continue on in a shallow, wicked world where nothing works the way it should. Perhaps thats why Im glad that Drs. Allender and Longman have written Bold Love. They talk honestly about evil in a fashion that requires us to depend on Gods supernatural power if we hope to survive this life with joy.

One hopeful trend is the renewed courage in many quarters to believe that God exists, imminently, that He might do something discernible and deep, that prayer provides a literal connection with Himjust as telephone wires reach another mere mortaland that a unity among similarly connected people could weaken sectarianism without compromising distinctive convictions.