Brown Kimberly - Steady, Calm, and Brave 25 Buddhist Practices of Resilience and Wisdom in a Crisis

Interweaving engaging personal stories, practical Buddhist wisdom, and modern psychological insight, Kimberly Brown oers a wealth of accessible contemplative resources to address the challenges and experiences so many of us are facing in these times. The warmth and wisdom I have come to know from her presence are reflected in her words. May this collection of skillful methods for cultivating kindness and sanity be of great benefit to beings.Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, author of Rebel Buddha and Emotional Rescue

Here is grounded, kind advice from a good spiritual friend, and my friend, Kimberly Brown. We need wise ways to think, especially now in these fraught timesbecause by helping ourselves, we can then help others.Venerable Robina Courtin, Buddhist teacher

With relatable and illuminating stories and clear, practical meditations, the offerings in Steady, Calm, and Brave are both timely and timeless.Chris Grosso, author of Indie Spiritualist and Dead Set on Living

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Copyright 2023 by Kimberly Brown

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ISBN 978-1-63388-821-0 (pbk. : alk. paper) | ISBN 978-1-63388-822-7 (ebook)

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To all my teachers, past, present, and future

I have arrived, I am home

In the here, in the now

I am solid, I am free

In the ultimate I dwell

THICH NHAT HAHN

After mountains, more mountains.

HAITIAN PROVERB

I ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS BOOK IN 2020, A FEW MONTHS AFTER THE COVID-19 pandemic began. My family, friends, students, and the world were in shock and terrified of this unimaginable crisis, and I wanted to share Buddhist tools and meditations to support everyone through it. But as we waited for the pandemic to abate and for things to return to normal, I realized that even after it ended, there would be another crisis, because, far from being a unique situation, a crisis is a normal part of our lives, one that we will all experience many times. As we struggled through coronavirus quarantines and restrictions, other disasters, catastrophes, and tragedies continuedwildfires throughout the American Northwest, devasting floods throughout Australia, famine due to drought in Angola, and a heartbreaking military withdrawal in Afghanistan. My fathers health declined and he died, my doctor learned that her acute and worsening back pain was actually Stage 4 cancer, and my cousins wife suddenly left him without warning after nearly a decade of marriage.

The truth is, you will never be crisis free, however much you wish to escape the unexpected, dangerous, and devastating. This might seem like bad news and maybe even the last thing you want to hear right now. But its an inescapable fact of life that things come together and things fall apart, and it doesnt matter whether you want them to or not. Our resistance to this creates what the Buddha calls dukkhaunnecessary suering, unease, or stressthat makes our human difficulties even more painful and hard. This book is a guide to understanding and recognizing your dukkha, offering compassion to your dukkha, and letting go of your dukkha so that you can be free to enjoy the beauty and connection we all share even in the worst circumstances and to see clearly even amid terrible events so that you can make skillful decisions for yourself, your family, and the world.

Sometimes people think that facing the truth of a crisis and letting go of our dukkha means that we approve of itthat we accept cancer, reckless behavior, violence, oppression, or injustice. But facing the truth means knowing that something is happening that we cant avoidand that our efforts to avoid it will make it worse. If youre reading this book, youre probably in a situation that you didnt ask for or want, and I understand how youre feeling. Thats why Ive shared what Ive learned from my years as a Buddhist student and meditation teacher and from my own most painful experienceswhen my dearest friend died of cancer, when I lived in downtown Manhattan during 9/11, and when my mother checked out of a hospital and drove straight to a tavern to start drinking again. I can tell you with certainty that you can meet this terrible moment with confidence that it will not destroy you, and you can deal with it without shame, denial, or blame. The exercises and meditations in this book will help you do it. I know intimately that its possible to keep your heart open and your mind clear and steady even during the worst times, to develop the capacity to acknowledge and accept the ever-changing nature of life, and to discern what you can control and what you cant with openness and kindness for yourself and everyone you encounter.

That doesnt mean it will be easy. You will face many moments of great doubttimes when you feel lost, afraid, and alone, when it seems like your efforts are futile and worthless and you want to give up. Thats when I hope youll turn to this book and let me remind you of your courageyour great, brave heartwhich will sustain you even in terrifying and crushing moments, when your prospects seem bleak. I know you have this courage because I have it toowe all doand even though you might not believe right now, you will. I never thought I could be steady, calm, or brave, but using the same traditional tools I share in this book, I uncovered my great, brave heart. With a little effort, time, and practice, Im confident that you will find yours too.

THIS BOOK CAME ABOUT DUE TO THE EFFORTS AND ENCOURAGEMENT of many. Thank you to:

Alice Peck, my friend, writing coach, and editor who never doubted that I could do it and who so generously contributed her talents, guidance, and expertise to make this book happen.

Eavan Cleary, for contributing her talent, vision, and time to create the beautiful cover and more.

Steven Harris, for his confidence and encouragement, and Jonathan Kurtz and the rest of the staff at Prometheus Books.

Ann Demarais and Mona Chopra, for their encouragement and enthusiasm.

Lori Piechocki and Madeleine Piechocki-Cannet, whose kindness and patience with me never wane.

My husband and greatest teacher, Michael Davey, who twice lived through the creation of this book with me.

All of the Buddhist sangha and its teachers, especially Sharon Salzberg and Venerable Robina Courtin.