Terry Pratchett - Only You Can Save Mankind (The Johnny Maxwell Trilogy)

Only You Can Save Mankind

Terry Pratchett

The Mighty ScreeWeeTM Empire is poised to attack Earth!

Our battleships have been destroyed in a sneak raid!

Nothing can stand between Earth and the terrible vengeance of the ScreeWeeTM!

But there is one starship left...

And out of the mists of time comes one warrior, one fighter who Is the last Hope of Civilizatlon!

YOU!

YOU are the Savior of Civilization.

You are all that stands between your world and Certain Oblivion.

You are the Last Mope.

Only You Can Save Mankind!TM

Action-Packed with New Features! Just like the Real Thing! Full.Color Sound and Slam.VectorTM Graphics! Sulteble for 1CM PC, Atari. Amiga. Pineapple, Ametrad, Nintendo. Actual games shots taken from a Version YOU haven't bought.

Copyright IEEE Qobi Software, 7234 W., Agharta Drive, Shambaia, Tibet. All Rights Reserved. All company names and product names are regletered trademarks or trademarks of their respective compeniee.

The names ScreeWee, Empire and Mankind are trademarks of QobI Software 1992.

1.

The Hero With A Thousand Extra Lives

Johnny bit his lip, and concentrated.

Right. Come in quick, let a missile target itself- beep beep beep beebeebeebeeb - on the first fighter, fire the missile - thwutnp - empty the guns at the fighter - fplatfplatfplatfplat - hit fighter No. 2 and take out its shields with the laser - bwizzle - while the missile - pwwosh - takes out fighter No. 1, dive, switch guns, rake fighter No.3 as it turns fplatfplatfplat - pick up fighter No. 2 in the sights again on the upcurve, let go a missile - thwump - and rake it with - Fwit fwit fwit.

Fighter No. 4! It always came in last, but if you went after it first the others would have time to turn and you'd end up in the sights of three of them.

He'd died six times already. And it was only five o'clock.

His hands flew over the keyboard. Stars roared past as he accelerated out of the melee. It'd leave him short of fuel, but by the time they caught up the shields would be back and he'd be ready, and two of them would already have taken damage, and... here they come... missiles away, wow, lucky hit on the first one, die die die!, red fireball - swsssh - take shield loss while concentrating fire on the next one - swsssh - and

now the last one was running, but he could outrun it, hit the accelerator - ggrrRRRSSHHH - and just keep it in his sights while he poured shot after shot into - swssh.

Ah! The huge bulk of their capital ship was in the corner of the screen. Level 10, here we come... careful, careful... there were no more ships now, so all he had to do was keep out of its range and then sweep in and We wish to talk.

Johnny blinked at the message on the screen.

We wish to talk.

The ship roared by - eeey000wwwnn. He reached out for the throttle key and slowed himself down, and then turned and got the big red shape in his sights again.

We wish to talk. His finger hovered on the Fire button. Then, with- out really looking, he moved it over to the keyboard.

and pressed Pause.

Then he read the manual.

Only You Can Save Mankind, it said on the cover.

'Full Sound and Graphics. The Ultimate Game.' A ScreeWee heavy cruiser, it said on page 17, could be taken out with seventy-six laser shots. Once you'd cleared the fighter escort and found a handy spot where the ScreeWee's guns couldn't get you, it was just a matter of time.

We wish to talk.

Even with the Pause on, the message still flashed on the screen.

There was nothing in the manual about messages.

Johnny riffled through the pages. It must be one of the New Features the game was Packed With.

He put down the book, put his hands on the keys and cautiously tapped out: Die, alein scum! No! We do not wish to die! We wish to talk! It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it? Wobbler Johnson, who'd given him the disc and photocopied the manual on his dad's copier, had said that once you'd completed level 10 you got given an extra 10,000 points and the Scroll of Valour and moved on to the Arcturus Sector, where there were different ships and more of them.

Johnny wanted the Scroll of Valour.

Johnny fired the laser one more time. Swsssh. He didn't really know why. It was just because you had the joystick and there was the Fire button and that was what it was for.

After all, there wasn't a Don't Fire button.

We Surrender! PLEASE! He reached over and, very carefully, pressed the Save Game button. The computer whined and clicked, and then was silent.

He didn't play again the whole evening. He did his homework.

It was Geography. You had to colour in Great Britain and put a dot on the map of the world where you thought it was.

The ScreeWee captain thumped her desk with one of her forelegs.

'What?' The First Officer swallowed, and tried to keep her tail held at a respectful angle.

'He just vanished again, ma'am,' she said.

'But did he accept?' 'No, ma'am.' The Captain drummed the fingers of three hands on the table. She looked slightly like a newt but mainly like an alligator.

'But we didn't fire on him!' 'No, ma'am.' 'And you sent my message?' 'Yes, ma am.' 'And every time we've killed him, he comes back...'

He caught up with Wobbler in Break.

Wobbler was the kind of boy who's always picked last when you had to pick teams, although that was all right at the moment as the PE teacher didn't believe in teams because they encouraged competition.

He wobbled. It was glandular, he said. He wobbled especially when he ran. Bits of Wobbler headed in various directions; it was only on average that he was running in any particular direction.

But he was good at games. They just weren't the ones that people thought you ought to be good at.

If ever there was an Inter-Schools First-One-To- Break-The-Unbreakable-Copy-Protection-on-Galactic- Thrusters, Wobbler wouldn't just be in the team, he'd be picking the team.

'Yo, Wobbler,' said Johnny.

'It's not cool to say Yo any more,' said Wobbler.

'Is it rad to say cool?' said Johnny.

'Cool's always cool. And no-one says rad any more, either.' Wobbler looked around conspiratorially and then fished a package from his bag.

'This is cool. Have a go at this.' 'What is it?' said Johnny.

'I cracked Fighter Star Terafiomber,' said Wobbler.

'Only don't tell anyone, right? Just type FSB. It's not much good, really. The space bar drops the bombs, and... well... just press the keys, you'll see what they do..

'Listen... you know Only You Can Save Mankind?' 'Still playing that, are you?' 'You didn't, you know, do anything to it, did you? Um? Before you gave me a copy?' 'No. It wasn't even protected. Didn't have to do anything except copy the manual. Why?' 'You did play it, didn't you?' 'A bit.' Wobbler only played games once. Wobbler could watch a game for a couple of minutes, and then pick up the joystick and get top score. And then never play it again.

'Nothing... funny... happened?' 'Like what?' said Wobbler.

'Like...' Johnny hesitated. He could tell Wobbler, and then Wobbler would laugh, or not believe him, or say it was just some bug or something, some kind of trick. Or a virus. Wobbler had discs full of computer viruses. He didn't do anything with them. He just col- lected them, like stamps or something.

He could tell Wobbler, and then somehow it wouldn't be real.

'Oh, you know... funny.' 'Like what?' 'Weird. Um. Lifelike, I suppose.

'It's sposed to be. Just like the real thing, it says. I hope you've read the manual properly. My dad spent a whole coffee break copying that.' Johnny gave a sickly grin.

'Yes. Right. Better read it, then. Thanks for Star Fighter Pilot-' 'TeraBomber. My dad brought me back Alabama Smith and the Jewels of Fate from the States. You can have a copy if you give me the disc back.' 'Right,' said Johnny.